If you would have stopped by my home on Friday morning at about 10:30 am, you would have found me still in my robe, standing over a pot of hot, bubbling plums with a tiny spoon in my hand and a crooked half-smile on my face. The reasons for this, for all of this, comes down to two things: ripeness and painkillers. Or the unfortunate, yet fortunate, timing of both. Let me explain.
As mentioned in my Weekend Meditation last week, I've been dealing with a discombobulating and painful dental situation, a nasty combination of a cracked tooth, exposed nerve and a kindly dentist who is willing to work with my lack of insurance but who was out of town for a week. Enter handfuls of aspirin followed by (eureka!) the discovery of a bottle of leftover Vicodin from my last dental 'situation.' Soon pain was pushed into the background and a somewhat cotton-woolly reality took its place.
Not an ideal situation, but manageable. Until a bag of plums sitting on my counter started smelling very sweet, an indicator that they were dead ripe, if not starting to rot. I needed to deal with them immediately and I so conceived of a plan, a plan born of desperation and cotton-woolly thinking. I would just cut up the plums, add some sugar and put them in the refrigerator for a few days. This is based on the tried and true 3-Day Apricot Jam method and it worked beautifully for apricots, so I assumed the plums would be fine, too.
And they were. They macerated in the sugar in the refrigerator for a while, then I cooked them down a bit, let them cool, and popped them back into the refrigerator. A few days later, I returned them to the stove and cooked them down some more. I was on the other side of my dental emergency by then and recovering quite nicely. The Vicodin had been replaced with some strong aspirin and the fog was clearing. I was beginning to find my bearings again, on the road to Easy Street. Until I noticed some strange, hard lumpy things in my jam. What? A closer look revealed that they were ... plum pits! Slowly my memory reached back into the past and I began to recall my cotton-woolly strategies.
In my vicodin haze, I had decided to leave the pits in the plums. I had remembered being told at some point that the pits would add more flavor and pectin, and to be honest, I didn't trust myself with a knife at that point. So I had just sliced the plums in half and tossed them with the sugar. And promptly forgot about it.
So on Friday morning, as I stood over my stove, I had a really sweet moment as I slowly fished plum pits out of my jam. I was struck by the fact that I could easily be annoyed with my cotton-woolly self for not thinking things all the way through and thus creating the slow moving, nit-picky task in front of me. But the truth is, my cotton-woolly self did the best it could given the circumstances of the time, and doing the best one can is always good enough. Besides, fishing out plum pits is just the kind of slow, meditative activity I really enjoy doing on a foggy morning. It may have been more 'efficient' to have counted the plums so I knew how many to fish out later (although counting plums would have been next to impossible back then.) Or perhaps I could have put them into a little mesh bag, or any number of ways to avoid this moment. But this moment was sweet and perfect, and the last thing in the world I wanted was to avoid it.
So this is the Cotton-Woolly Method of jam-making, and life-living, too. Just do the best you can, respond appropriately to the causes and conditions of the present circumstances, and deal with the consequences with patience and steadfastness and most of all, kindness. Do all of this and your story just may end like mine did, wrapped up in an old flannel robe, standing over the stove with spoon, a plateful of plum pits, and a contented, crooked smile.
May all your stories of pain, discombobulation, and confusion end as happily as mine did.
Related: Weekend Meditation: Teaching Each Other
(Image: Dana Velden)
TW Salt Mill by Wil...

Wow, I'm impressed you were up and jamming! My one experience with Vicodin (for oral surgery recovery, last year), I spent propped on a futon in the living room for 72 hours, limply telling The Fella "I'm all better now!" between bouts of blinking blankly at a "Columbo" marathon. (He nodded understandingly and gently removed the spoon I'd absently left hanging in my mouth. That stuff knocked me for a loop.)
If I had, I would have....
Please read this with particular reference to the third conditional, the "unreal"-- if it had happened, it would have been in the past!
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/conditionals-verb-tense-in-if-clauses/
I'm seeing and hearing this incorrect usage(if I would have, I would have) so often these days.
I really don't mean to be rude, I'm trying to help your writing become more professional.
First: Seriously? We are gonna avoid the entire conversation topic and decide to correct grammar and word usage? And Charlotte if you really were "Just trying to help" why not do so by sending a private note?
Second: Thanks Dana for the reminder not just about the jam recipe, and for a good laugh as I envisioned you "stoned" and making jam.. I also love the idea of not going back to blame ourselves for what we would have or could have done, but just to move forward and enjoy what is happening now.
I love this :). Hope you're recovering well.
Years ago, when I lived with a family in rural France, the Madame of the household would pick a big bowlful of tiny plums from their backyard tree. She made a giant tart with them and just laid all of the plums on top of the dough, whole. The tart was delicious and we just picked out the pits as we ate it. :-)
Charlotte - You're rude.
I might also have called you a jerk. Hey, if I had, I would have.
Seriously, there is no call for this sort of thing. English is a beautiful, fluid and evolving language. You cannot be the language police. It's impossible. Meaning changes from region to region, person to person. Pan Asian English would blow your tiny mind.
So, get over and enjoy yourself. Let other people worry about how "professional" they are.
Great text! It's so true that life gets better if you can forgive your past self for mistakes that seem glaringly obvious in hindsight. It's always a comfort to know that I made the best decisions I could with the abilities and information that were available to me *at the time*.
As a side note, I feel bad that someone could read such a thoughtful text and focus on such a minor detail as grammar. And I admit to being one of those people who still cringes when someone says "begs the question", (the grammarians obviously lost that battle :) Don't even get me started on the prescriptive vs. descriptive debate.
Why is it that sincere & thoughtful texts seem to attract the trolls?
One of the best jams I ever ate was my grandmother's wild plum jam--with the pits included. Just eat past them.
Tacit- Graffiti - I have a question. I hope this doesn't seem at all odd. Are you a native English speaker? The reason I ask is because of your use of the word "text". A native speaker would not use that word in this context. We're more likely to say "post", "story" or "article". I've seen your usage before, in an article written by a Swede. It's really stuck with me.
Again, forgive me if you're offended by my question. I'm just curious :)
I might have titled this "Stoned Fruit Jam" :)
I can't believe you even managed to halve the plums while under the effects of Vicodin, but it sounds like the results were yummy.
This made me smile on Monday morning, thank you :-)
I did cringe at Charlotte's post #letitdrop
You get this kind of drug against toothache in the US??? Amazing.
Herzsprung - you would get that drug for removal of wisdom teeth or similar, dental situations involving surgery.
Grammar Dork - get bent. You're not the kind of dork people like.
This post made me smile, there are so many times when I am completely immersed in a really tedious cooking related task and I think I should be annoyed right now, this is technically a waste of time or backtracking to fix a stupid mistake, yet I'm not, and I love that. I can't be annoyed while doing something I love, even if it is a really silly task like picking egg shell out of batter. I love working in the kitchen, no matter what the activity. Except cleaning.
Note to self: must learn to skip the comments section.
Note to Dana: thank you for this post