How far south do you live :) Cheese Grits always please. Mix now and stick the raw dish in the freezer to be baked later. Also---you can bake in a turkey roaster. Borrow them from your family and friends. You won't be doing any laundry on your wedding day, so you can set the roasters on top of your washer and dryer.

Baked beans! Before you cringe, remember that they can be prepared all sorts of ways: tex-mex or super-sweet and southern, vegetarian or laden with bacon, navy beans or black beans, soupy or baked till almost dry....these seem to get better the longer they sit. and they don't have to be piping hot to taste good! They're filling, too. Also, think about a lentil/wild rice/feta/dried cherry salad. Served at room temp, it can be a side dish for meat eaters and a meal for vegetarians. Good luck, and let us know what you end up doing and how easy/hard it is. I might try it for my daughter!

I would suggest a vegetable tian. Hearty yet summery. Thinly slice potatoes, zucchini and if desired, mushrooms (other possible additions depending on preference: onions, yellow squash, eggplant, sweet peppers, sweet potatoes). Arrange in single layers on multiple baking sheets (this goes much quicker if you have more than one oven). Drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper and roast in a hot oven until well browned.

You can pause here, store the vegetables in the fridge and do the rest later, or continue with assembly. Layer the vegetables in a gratin or baking dish with a small amount of garlicky tomato sauce (or regular tomato sauce and some roasted garlic), thinly sliced fresh tomatoes, and cheese. The cheese can be a fair amount of mozzarella or ricotta, or a smaller amount of feta, parmesan, gruyere or fontina. Or better yet a mix of mild and strong cheeses. Assemble in layers like a lasagna with potatoes taking the place of noodles. Bake until cheese melts and tomatoes are soft, then wrap well and store in the freezer or refrigerator for reheating later. Chopped fresh herbs of choice on top (thyme, oregano, parsley and/or basil).

Ina Garten has a somewhat similar recipe here:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/vegetable-tian-recipe/index.html

However, I think roasting the vegetables before assembly makes for a better do-ahead dish. Plus it brings out the flavor and cuts down on the excess moisture. Also, Garten's dish is a single layer, whereas the one I've just described can be piled high in the baking dish so you can fit in more servings.

this is an excellent recipe that can be assembled a day or two in advance and then baked on the day of (not sure if cooking the day of is an option) http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/fennel-gratin-with-crispy-bread-crumb-topping

otherwise, slaws are great because they get better over time, as are corn salads and bean salads.

Polenta holds up fantastically if you grill or pan-sear it ahead of time, then put it in a chafing dish to heat back up for the wedding. Bruschetta is labor-intensive, but if you mix everything together one day before, the chopped tomatoes will hold up for 3-4 days, and there are lots of other kinds of 'bruschetta' you can make for your guests to have a selection. Veggie kebobs would hold up nicely if you only just grill them a few days out, then reheat - if you're using chafing dishes, the steam will cook them the rest of the way. Cold salads will stay fresh if you dress them only the day before - quinoa, barley, black bean, greek salads are all good options. Just one wedding caterer's input ;)

Not related to the side dishes, but please also keep in mind that depending on your location, you will need to get rid of all of your own trash if you self-cater! The very idea kept me from doing my own, because I did not want to try to plan a trip to the dump between reception and honeymoon!

I've had a great casserole at receptions (sorry, no recipe) comprising rice (white, brown, wild or a combination), chunks of chicken (precooked, I'm sure), broccoli (pre steamed, large stalks or chopped intp flowerets), cheese and a slivered almond topping. Also, I know there are feed-a-crowd recipe websites, often associated with churches that do this kind of thing routinely. Tried any of those? Again, best wishes for a beautiful wedding! Your guests will love the personal touch.

You can make a Caprese pasta-salad ahead of time. It's served cold, which is a nice bonus. You just cook cheese tortellini and add balsamic vinaigrette, basil, sliced cherry tomatoes and diced mozzarella, then stir. I make it a day or two before a picnic so the tastes set a little and there is never any left!

I was MOH in a wedding a couple of years ago. I did the food two nights before, and finished it that morning. Everything was served chilled/room temperature. I did a giant herb roasted pork loin that I cooked the day before and sliced in the morning. It was delicious even though it wasn't hot. I also did this pasta salad http://tinyurl.com/9cndk7l two days before and mixed in the goat cheese the morning of. I think we just did a simple green salad to round it out. Everybody was really happy, and the pasta salad has became a staple potluck dish.

Depends on the main dish, but most cooked veg will be fine for a couple of days without freezing. Ratatouille, roasted veg, gratin dauphinois (make only 1-2 days ahead, because of the egg and milk/cream in it), dal, aloo gobi (potato with spinach), imam bayildi, garlicky green beans dressed with mint, lemon and olive oil (add feta cheese last minute) ....

this asapragus-goat cheese pasta dish from smittenkitchen is amazing, simple and easy- it can be served hot or cold, and you can play with seasonal veggies to add variety. just store a cup or two of the pasta water to mix in the day of serving because the cheese absorbs the liquid. i've made it for family reunions, new years parties, potlucks etc and it is always gobbled up quickly. i usually use orzo instead of spiral pasta. congrats and good luck!

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2009/05/asparagus-goat-cheese-and-lemon-pasta/

I love your ambition. You didn't say what time of day the wedding is or how many people, which actually makes this difficult to answer for me. For make-ahead parties of large people, I prefer things like lasagna. Add bread and a side salad and you have a meal. But lasagna might be too expensive for a large party if you need to make several dishes.

Here's an alternative: why do you need a dinner at all? I swore up and down that our wedding must, must, must have a sit-down meal. It was wonderful, but you know what? No one even remembers the food at our wedding but us. They remember the fun they had on the dance floor and the laughs at the little outdoor ceremony. Try cake only, or maybe just snacks and drink?

I did all the food for my wedding. We did it picnic style and it was outdoors. . We cooked set up an assembly line and my brother, mom, dad, cousin, and a couple bridesmaids helped wash/prep/cook vegetables and starches the day before. We had potato salad with dill and shallots, all the potatoes were cooked the day before and I made the dressing and prepped the veggies and herbs then assembled the next morning. I also did this salad: http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/heathers-farro-recipe.html, cooking the grains the day before, prepping everything and storing in seperate containers and then assembled everything in the morning. We also did big bowls of mesclun salad with viniagrette that I made that morning. We also had a huge cheese table with all kinds of different cheese and whole smoked salmons that we got in Alaska, a raw bar with oysters , big bowls of grapes, and baguettes. For the main course we had grilled chicken and we rented large grills and hired a family friend to work the grill. I was actually surprised by how simple and easy it was. I think prepping as much as you can the day before and then assembling the morning of is key, also enlisting help!