I actually find grabbing a highball and just adding the mixers is a great way to not make a big deal about it when I'm not drinking. Most people won't know the difference and the heavy glass feels nice in the hand, as opposed to a sweaty red Solo cup.

I drink very little and definitely grab a glass water when I arrive to avoid explaining why. I have noticed that heavy drinkers would much rather hang out with other heavy drinkers at events/parties so sometimes I feel left out.

I always feel so awkward when I am offered booze and I politely refuse. Even though it is done without making drama, people always give me *that* look. It's as if I'm some snobbish freak with six heads that's from a backwards anti-booze cult.

My reasons for not drinking:

-I hate beer. It tastes terrible. I've tried all kinds. No really, I hate it.

-I have Celiac disease, so I'm not going to drink beer. Did I mention that I really hate the taste of beer? So yeah, the gluten free stuff is not going to be an option. Please stop telling me to go out and buy some.

-There is one wine I love. It's from a Virginia winery and costs $50 a bottle and that doesn't include the cost of shipping it to NH. I've tried many other wines. I just don't care for them.

-Wine coolers and all those types of drinks have malt, which is gluten. So they are out. Plus, I see those as drinks that 15 year olds sneak behind their parents backs.

-I don't like drinking around children. Since I have a small child, I'm not going to be drinking anyway. What puzzles me is how everyone else is around/with kids and have no problems sucking down the booze. I just prefer to not do it.

Now I love girly booze drinks. Pina Coladas, Strawberry Daquiris and White Russians are yummy. However, I have diabetes and they send my blood sugar sky high. I feel very sick after a few sips. It's just not worth it. Wine does the same thing to me, so that's another reason for not drinking it.

So yeah, I just stick with drinking water and the social awkwardness that comes with it.

Don't even get me started on eating at social events. No gluten, no dairy, no nuts, no seafood...

Staying home is less stressful.

I don't usually drink, outside of business dinners, because I don't have a tolerance for alcohol. I'm not skinny, but when it comes to drinking I am a lightweight (if that makes sense). I can do ONE glass of wine, so I tend to have one & a water at dinner, and just slowly work on that one glass (while drinking lots of the water). At cocktail hours I do seltzer with a lime in it.

But yes - I have learned that it is good to have some fluency with wines. I'm trying to get there. At my pace (1 glass per night) it is taking a long time, though.

My ex-husband chose not to drink because his father was an alcoholic and died (along with his 9 year old cousin who was in the car) driving into a lake and my ex just didn't want to go there at all!! People used to come up and harass him about not drinking and he'd just tell the story about his father. End of conversation. People choose not to drink for many reasons; some completely arbitrary. People just need to relax about the whole thing. So many of my friends choose not to drink. I offer a glass of wine or beer and if it's refused, I offer water, juice, etc. No big deal.

Good tips for non-drinkers, but please avoid assumptions about those who have dietary restrictions. While sure, some people wear them as a badge of honor, that's a pretty cynical view. As someone with celiac disease, it is medically necessary for me to avoid even trace amounts of gluten, and making those in my position feel like it's a desperate act of egotism is pretty shortsighted of you. Pretty ironic given the supposed "live and let live" message of this article.

I'm a regular drinker, but on occasion I'll decide to pass on it for various reasons: headache; not wanting to mix alcohol and sinus meds; tired; too cheap for the cash bar prices; whatever...

If I'm not drinking, my go-to drink is club soda with a lemon. It's less boring than water and looks no different than a vodka and soda, so no one ever questions me. But honestly, so what if they did?

I usually explain (if pressed) that alcohol gives me migraines (which is true.) The advantage of that particular dodge is that everyone accepts it at face value and moves on, and nobody bothers me anymore.

I do find making myself a "fancy" non-alcoholic drink from the mixers is the best start, though - and most bars are more than happy to offer club soda with lime (and often do so free under the sometimes false assumption that you're the designated driver.)

I'm not a total non-drinker, but I generally don't drink. When I do, I rarely finish my first drink and regret the unnecessary calories. When I have parties, I try and always make a special beverage for the event, and make it non-alcoholic, so that alcohol can be added if desired. Then I just keep a bottle or two of wine on hand and my husband always makes sure there is a homebrew on tap. It makes it very simple for non-drinkers to participate in the festivities and drink pairing without feeling excluded by their choice not to drink alcohol. Generally, people are more interested in my magic concoction than in popping a cork, so it works out pretty well in our house. At other people's parties, I do the water + garnish, if I'm feeling the garnish, or a soda if they offer it. At bars, soda or club soda are easy substitutes, especially with a lime wedge. But there's always the truth: "I don't drink and that's all there is to it." Nobody ever asks people why they *don't* smoke cigarettes. I'm not sure why it doesn't work the same with alcohol.

Even half a glass of red wine will give me a killer headache, so thanks but no thanks. I'll bring my own beer, if I have too. :)

I am often the DD in my group, so I abstain, and when asked if I want a drink, I explain with that answer. As I've gotten older, I've found a simple "no, thank you" suffices. I chalk the rude, probing questions up to lack of manners, but that doesn't mean I have to behave in the same way.

Honestly, sometimes I read these ettiquette-type posts and I really wonder if people are just being raised without manners. It is nobody's business why you do not drink. Isn't it enough to say, "No, thank you" without having to provide a reason? Asking someone why they don't drink, or are not having a drink, is an incredibly rude question precisely because it may have a very personal answer (such as "I'm pregnant" or "I'm a recovering alcoholic.") If people are rude enough to ask, I suggest you say, "I just prefer not to." Let them spend the rest of the evening speculating, but I would not indulge this kind of behavior.

I've been a nondrinker my whole life (for religious purposes). I've never found it to be a big deal. I have literally played drinking games, but just didn't drink. I think once people realize that you're not uptight about other people drinking they don't care. I suggest 1. taking something lovely and non alcoholic to a party to share and 2. if out asking the bartender to make you something tasty and nonalcoholic.

The most annoying thing to me is the assumption some people make that because you don't drink you would want to be everyone's designated driver. Um no, I don't go out just to drive drunk people home.

I am a light drinker, and no one has ever questioned my "oh no, I'm such a lightweight, I'm sticking to seltzer" excuse. This one is good for waving away the host who really wants to get you a drink. They'll be happy to bring you a seltzer. Then they've done their hosting and can relax. Sometimes people just want to GIVE you something, but it doesn't always matter what.

This stuck out: "just because you don't eat pork, it doesn't mean you shouldn't know how to prepare or use it." Well, no, actually. There's no reason whatsoever for those of us who don't eat pork (vegetarians, Kosher, halal, just happen to dislike it) should know how to prepare or use it. Life is short and there are many topics to learn about--I'm not wasting any neurons on pork prep. Nondrinkers needed master mixology, either.

I am a pretty big wine lover, but there are a few people in my social circle who don't drink, as well as a few who sometimes do and sometimes don't. I think it helps when you know people's preferences b/c then when I plan a party I make sure to have some lemonade or hot tea or whatever on hand so I can offer something more interesting than water. Lately I've been offering ginger beer (it's a non- alcoholic soda that's a bit more gingery than gingerale) with a twist of lime.
I don't feel like it's ever an issue though if I offer someone a drink and they say "no thanks" I just say "would you like some lemonade then?" and leave it at that. I don't think it would occur to me to ask someone "why not?"

Drink what you want. Don't drink what you don't want. Don't waste any time and energy making excuses, thinking up excuses, or wondering what anyone else is thinking about you. Life is short.

Ellabee, it's not really a matter of that. There are many of us who have been outcast for not drinking. I can't count the number of social gathering I've been to where I've turned down drinks, only to be left alone for the rest of the evening. When pressed, people told me that my not drinking made them feel weird about their own drinking, or that I wasn't "fun".

Sometimes, it just easier to give some sort of medical reason, as not to be judged so horribly and ostracized.

My boyfriend doesn't drink and I think every single person we know has asked him at least once "well why not?" He does get tired of it! Especially since "I'm just not interested" doesn't appear to satisfy anybody's curiosity.

I just don't drink because 1) I would rather spend the extra calories on the party food and have a diet soda or selzer and 2) alcohol makes me very warm and flushed and I don't like the feeling, and that is just with a sip or two. Possibly I have an allergy to something in the alcoholic beverage. I don't bother with NA wines but at home I like to have NA beer as some things just taste so good with beer.

No one NO ONE have ever given me a problem or tried to force me to drink something I didn't want. Maybe I just hang with a different crowd.

There are a lot of complex social implications at work here. For example, I love wine, but haven't been drinking due to cancer treatment. My friends and family feel bad drinking in front of me because they feel like they're flaunting something that I would like to do, but can't. Yet no one feels bad talking about going to the gym in front of me (something else I can't do right now) because it isn't the same kind of social ritual.

In the same way, people often act oddly about someone not imbibing out of worry. They're concerned that you don't want to stay, that you aren't having fun, or that you're going to feel left out. Or they might even subconsciously feel snubbed by your "refusal" of their hospitality. There might be some jerks out there who are just pushy, but most people just want to make sure you're comfortable and having fun.

I've found that if someone offers you a drink, the best response is to say "actually, I'd love a big glass of water." It's a good deflection because sounds like you're just really thirsty and that maybe you'll take them up on the drink later, but that you don't want to carry around two drinks at the moment. Once they've gotten used to seeing you walking around with your water and realized that it's not ruining your enjoyment of the evening, the topic doesn't usually come up again.

If your friends are the kind of people who respond to a beverage-offer-decline with "what, are you pregnant or just a buzzkill?", it's time to get new friends.

Additionally, never ascribe malicious intent to something that can be explained by simple ignorance. If you're in a social setting where alcohol is rampant and you're the only person in the room not imbibing, you're bound to attract attention and questions. Asking "why aren't you drinking?" or "why are you wearing a lime green leotard to a fancy dress party?" isn't rude; it's just pointing out someone going against social norms.

Or, you know, you can go through life thinking that everyone asking you questions is judging you. I don't particularly care...I just don't want to run into you at a party, in that case.

I'm surprised that anyone would make such a big deal out of anyone turning down an alcoholic beverage. That sucks. I guess it explains the aggressive tone of the blog post.

Thanks for these useful tips and the conversation! I have often found that people get a little defensive if someone is not drinking.

The same can be said re: food restriction "badge of honor". I find that there are actually MORE people who assume that everyone with a food restriction or non-traditional dietary choice is an idiot, than those who actually are. I call it "lactose intolerance envy". Super often if I have to tell someone I can't have milk, I get the lecture about all those OTHER lactose intolerant people who are so annoying. But I've never actually met anyone who has lactose intolerance who thinks it makes them special. I think that the whole thing is largely a myth. I suspect there may not actually be annoying vegans at all. Just meat eaters who harp about imaginary annoying vegans. Which, sorry, is pretty annoying.

Just last Saturday I sat through someone's lecture about annoying vegans. There was not a vegan at the dinner table. Just one guy who is apparently really threatened by vegans and harps about them almost every time I see him. Which is not very often, since he is no fun at all to be around.

I dont like beer. In fact I find it disgusting. All other alcohol I can handle but the smell of beer makes me vomit at instance. My husband thinks I am out of my mind for being like this. IMO its not quite in my control having this sort of reaction. Problem we are facing is that I do not feel that I should provide beer for people at my house...its not like they go out and buy me a bottle of whisky just because I am stopping by. He thinks that I should simply cater to all beer drinkers. This is along the same lines as some people dont like shoes in their house, some have nut allergies, well I have a beer allergy so what the hell is wrong with that?

How very strange. I don't much enjoy alcohol, and it sometimes gives me migraines, so I don't drink much--maybe one drink a month or so--and I usually refuse alcohol when it's offered. Nobody's ever given me a hard time about it. They just say "Can I get you something else, then? Water, juice, coffee?"

If my friends tried to make me drink when I didn't want to, I would ask them to stop. If they persisted, I would probably find other friends.

I love drinkin', and honestly when I set out to do it, I generally avoid talking too much to sober people. I just find it awkward knowing that I am drunk and the person who I am talking to is sober, whether they actually care or not it just feels like we are on unequal footing. Plus, when you have been drinking it is a lot easier to not realize that while you might THINK you are just casually wondering, as @ASMALLCONTEMPT suggests, why someone chooses not to do what just about everyone else is doing (especially when you are obviously enjoying it so much), but you might actually be coming off more like "no but REALLY, I know you SAY you're just not into it but I mean, what's the deal ??????????? there's gotta be a real reason !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" If they were also drunk, being a doofus like that wouldn't be a big deal, but when you're drunk and they're sober it ends up just being an embarrassing mess.

What I find very odd is that this is even an issue. When people come to my house, I offer a range of beverage choices and get them what they request. I'd never ask someone why they are drinking alcohol; why would I ask someone else why they are not drinking alcohol? Just seems like common courtesy.

So many people seem to think this is an unworthy question to ask! But I think so much depends on the situation and the relationship you have with the other people at the party/event/meal/etc. For instance, if you're with close friends it's true you probably won't get any questions or pressure. But what if you're with people you don't know as well, like co-workers, neighbors, friends of friends, business associates, etc? (Or probably the worst offenders of all--family, who often think they have the right to pry into every part of your life!) If everyone else is drinking, it WILL stick out if you don't. Of course, you should do whatever you want, but I think it does pay to consider your response in advance if you feel uncomfortable sticking out. Do you want to tell your whole story, or would you rather make up some vague response that just shuts down the conversation? That's totally valid to consider.

I think the commenter above hit the nail directly on the head saying people are RUDE. I agree it's totally rude for someone to push someone on why they don't drink or call them out in a public way. It's one thing if a friend wants to ask you privately just out of curiosity--though even then I personally think they should be a good friend to ask such a personal question--but I don't think anyone should ask that question of someone they don't know too well or in a manner that might bring unwanted attention to the person. Unfortunately that doesn't mean people won't be rude, though!

For myself, whenever I host a party I always make sure to have at least one non-alcoholic drink that isn't water and just present all the options right off the bat. I'll ask "Would you like a glass of red or white wine, a beer, some iced tea, or water?" If it's a large party where I won't be serving everyone each drink, I'll often put out all the options together and just let people choose for themselves. And actually I once discovered a few days before a large party that I was pregnant. We weren't ready to tell anyone, but my husband and I definitely enjoy our drinks and I knew my family in particular would immediately notice if I didn't have one. I just got the red plastic cups so no one could see what others were drinking. No one even noticed since I was holding the same glass they were. The only sticky moment was when someone offered to get me a refill on wine, but I just commented that I was really thirsty and would really like some water. Didn't raise any eyebrows!

@ CMCINNYC

That comment stuck out to me too and it is just too bad for those people who expect me to prepare them some pork. They will go hungry.

"Want a drink?"

"No thanks."

*weird look* "Why not??"

"Oh, I snorted a few lines of coke and shot up some heroin on the way over, I'm fine for the evening."

Back, when I could drink, my boyfriend and I would alternate turns as to who will be DD. Now with my medical issues and not being able to (allowed to) drink, no one really bats an eye. If we play Beer Pong, I have a DD or Designated Drinker (poor boyfriend usually winds up drunker than intended thanks to my horrible skills.) I suppose it also helps that one person in the group knows someone else with the same bladder condition as I do, so she readily tells people about it whether or not I want her to. Actually, the boyfriend will too. So half of the time new people get answers and usually not from me and the bulk of the time their drunk.

I hope that I don't ever visit a country where it is deemed rude to turn down an alcoholic beverage. I'd feel bad.

There have been MANY times that I've been questioned repeatedly at parties about why I'm not drinking. I don't think it's meant to be rude, but that's how it comes across. It's like they're really curious about this totally bizarre, inexplicable behavior of mine, and they MUST know why! And my usual response--I just don't care for it--doesn't satisfy them. And we have some friends who are big-time wine drinkers and just can't imagine somebody who doesn't like it. All the curiosity makes me wonder if maybe they think I'm an alcoholic and if they push hard enough, they'll get some juicy gossip out of me. Now that I think about it, the ones who repeatedly ask are people who grew up in this somewhat rural area and never left it; maybe they haven't had enough experience with the wider world to meet a lot of people with different likes and dislikes than their own.

I don't drink either. I just don't like it. The explanations I used to have to give were unbearable. Ugh. But, my friends and family know me well so they don't let new strangers hassle me. My husband get my drink for me which tends to be water. That usually helps.

This seems like a question a bunch of overgrown college students would ask.

@USERNAME26, I don't think you can go wrong with stocking some sparkling water and some cola. Those who don't like sweet drinks or those who only drink diet soda can stick with the water, and those who want some sugar or are craving some caffeine (maybe a designated driver) can have a Coke.

If you keep your bar stocked, a splash of grenadine or a twist of citrus is a great addition to have on hand for either drink.

This question becomes less and less important the older I get (I’ve just tipped over into the second half of my 20s). My groups of friends are pretty good at respecting each other’s choice of beverage, whether it is whiskey or water. We all just want to hang out together and have a good time.

Well, round here, most of the time the beverages are pointed to by the host/hostess or their kids ....juice and water in the red cooler, sodas in the blue cooler, and the keg is over there. You help yourself. This is the typical picnic, bbq-type gathering that goes on here almost year round...suitable for HS graduation, baptism, 75th wedding anniversary, informal weddings, Packer parties, indoors, outdoors etc etc. I guess the idea is just to have a variety of choices, easily obtainable so a non drinker doesn't feel like they are putting anyone out.

I'm another one who doesn't understand the need for this post. I have lots of friends who don't care to drink. Whatever floats your boat. I don't do pot, but some of my friends do. My husband and a number of our friends don't eat meat; I love it. As the hostess, all I am concerned about is making sure everyone has something to make them happy. I try to remember everyone's preferences, but I don't always. Plus, people's preferences in food and alcohol tend to change over time.

My grandfather never drank, he'd walk around parties/work events with a tumbler of ice, water and a twist of lemon peel. No one ever asked why he didn't drink, they didn't give his drink a second look. He was a classy guy.

For what it's worth, I've noticed a difference in how people respond when someone who's not drinking just refuses that drink (e.g., "No, thanks, I'm good with soda, etc.") vs. when they make a broader declaration (i.e., "No, I don't drink.") The latter scenario seems to result in more follow-on questions. Within reason, I understand this. For example, when one of my colleagues (who had previously drunk rather frequently and with relish) abruptly stopped and started announcing that she didn't drink, it was kind of hard not to reflexively ask why.

I think some of this reflects on the host as well... I always offer my guests both alcoholic and non-alcoholic options when they arrive. After that, I encourage them to serve themselves. There's no pressure for them to choose one option over the other.

That said, I've certainly been on the other side of things and felt pressured by peers to "join the party" - the pressure has always seemed to come from their own discomfort that I'll remember all the things they did while under the influence whereas they won't the next day. Which is just plain ridiculous -- if you choose to drink, drink responsibly. If you choose to get drunk, I'm not inclined to judge but you're still responsible for your actions, even if you can't remember them.

I can say that I'm okay with soda, or that I'm driving, etc but when someone wants to do a toast and is passing around glasses of champagne, that's when it gets awkward and you have to come out and say that you don't drink. Doesn't happen too often but it does happen.

Really? If someone says they don't drink I just assume they don't want to. *shrugs*

As many have mentioned thus far, it is really unfortunate that we have to discuss this as an "issue" at all. Whether or not someone drinks alcohol is a personal choice and his reasoning is his own. Many people have also pointed out how the "you're not drinking?!" conversation becomes awkward because people can be rude in general - something that I feel is a general wave radiating throughout society. When the drink question is posed, rather than accepting the non-alcoholic beverage answer (or no thanks, period), most people will push for answers or push alcohol, even though it's been made clear you're not interested. Having been an imbiber when I first became of age and now not drinking at all, I find that people do this because it's less awkward for them drinking if you are too. A few years ago, I made the conscious decision to stop drinking. Health reasons and personal reasons; whatever the case, I chose to change my lifestyle. I was actually disappointed and hurt by the reactions I got from many of my "friends" and those in my social circle. It was almost as if no one could wrap their brains around why I would want to stop! Even if I did list the reasons!! I did get the "you think you're better than us" attitude, but I also got off the wall allegations like "you're only doing it because that guy you're seeing doesn't..." Huh? It's a ridiculous conversation, regardless of the setting, but the tone and outcome of the conversation are all in who the conversation is with, in my opinion.

I cannot believe this is a topic of conversation. Really?!
I thought everyone here was an adult.

I am actually allergic to wine, so I constantly have this problem. Like mentioned, I often make myself a drink that could look alcoholic if someone who cares was looking. I am a naturally fun outgoing person, so when people are drinking they would never know I'm not :)

@Kariwk: You asked what non-drinkers would like to have at a party. Thanks for asking!
At a minimum, a choice of non-alcoholic beverages in addition to water is nice. Bonus points for a variety, including ginger ale, seltzer, cranberry juice, or iced tea (nice to have a mix of sugary and not, carbonated and not.) Super-bonus if it looks like you put some thought and effort into preparing an interesting non-alcoholic beverage (a fun flavored lemonade, a growler of microbrew root beer, virgin mojitos, even Shirley Temples, if it's that kind of a party.) Oh, and I like being able to drink out of a cup that looks like everyone else's; just because I'm drinking something you could serve to a child doesn't mean I want it served in a sippy cup.

While most of us non-drinkers are okay with drinking seltzer and lime, we appreciate the choice of something more (kind of like how vegetarians will probably smile politely at the offer of a side salad and pasta primavera, but we're thrilled to be offered something more thoughtful.) We used to go out to a steakhouse for drinks after work; being a non-drinking vegetarian, you'd think I would hate the place, but the bartenders came up with such interesting non-alcoholic concoctions for me (often involving unusual fruit nectars, bitters, and fizziness) that I was always the one to suggest we go there!

Oh, and as for making guests feel comfortable, I'd make a habit of offering everyone the choice of alcohol and non-alcoholic drinks, so that nobody is put in the position of saying, "Actually, I'm not drinking tonight--do you have anything else?" Even the drinkers amongst your friends will enjoy taking a break for a softer drink now and then (well, if your friends are anything like mine, ie, grown-ups.)

One more thing: for the poster who brought up the issue of visiting other countries where turning down a drink is considered rude, I find it's easiest to just smile politely and say, "Thanks so much, but I'm an American." People all over the world seem to find that a perfectly reasonable explanation for all sorts of eccentric behavior.

I have never been able to drink due to health problems and am actually allergic to alcohol and I have got so much stick for this from people over the years, even from quite good friends. I've actually been called a liar and been told that it's not possible to be allergic to alcohol and I've had people demand to know what would happen to me if I did drink alcohol (ie. would I be sick, would my illness relapse etc etc.). I've also had people try and trick me into drinking alcohol or spike my drink to try and see what would happen, but luckily I caught them. :S I'm also now on medication that means that even without the aforementioned problems I couldn't drink alcohol anyway, so there's really no way I will be drinking alcohol in the foreseeable future.

However, obviously all of that shouldn't matter. I should be able to politely refuse a drink without having to justify myself or give my entire medical history or give some sort of medical letter from a doctor or evidence proving that I'm not allowed to drink. I'm not preachy or some sort of spoilsport - I have as much fun as anyone else when I go out and I have no problem with anyone else drinking and you really wouldn't notice I wasn't drinking if you weren't trying to force drinks upon me.

The worst incidence of this was when I was at a summer school in Germany. We were at a picnic and the teacher was actually really harassing myself and a Muslim girl for not drinking. I was quite a bit older than her and able to hold my own in the argument, but she was from the Middle East and it was her first time in the West and he ended up convincing her to drink, which I thought was pretty disrespectful.

I don't drink mostly because I don't like the taste of most alcoholic drinks plus I feel that I'm more interesting and less inhibited when I am NOT drunk. (I generally just fall asleep when I get even a little tipsy)
My social tip for teetotalers is to use a cocktail/wine/champagne glass. This works really well for events the involve people you're not really close to (because your real friends won't force you to drink). It'll make them think that you're drinking something alcoholic and they won't harass you so much.
@thehoopiestfrood, My brother is allergic to alcohol too. And your experience in Germany is horrible! Poor girl!

Just say you're allergic to alcohol.

I love this post, and even more reading all the comments - I seriously feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only person who enjoys not drinking! As for the few commenters who don't see the point of the post, well I wish more of my friends were like you!

I don't drink very much, for various reasons, and it is a pain most of the time. The majority of people don't take "I'm not drinking" for an answer and keep pressing for some 'better' reason. In work situations or where I don't know most people, pretending I'm on antibiotics is a handy excuse as people will nod and leave you alone. Or get something like Coke or cranberry juice and pretend there's rum or vodka in there. Sad, but I've had to do that a lot.

But other than that you get easily labelled as boring, dull or likely to lecture people if they get a second glass of wine. I actually do enjoy being out with people even if they're drinking and I'm not, but after 1h they look at me like I must be wanting to go home and go to bed (and to be honest, it can sometimes be exhausting when a few of my friends can't go out and not get sh'tfaced within 40 mins). Or some people will mean well but keep pressing you to get a drink ("come on. cooome on. coooome oooooon, just oooone...") and make me feel like a boring, shy small child for declining.

Actually, splitty, I always have a variety of beverages both alcoholic and non-alcoholic, and just give the list and let people choose. The range tends to be beer and wine, soda couple of kinds of soda, sparkling and still water, iced tea, and usually some kind of juice. And due to cats in the house, all beverages are served in non-stem glasses, so no sippy cups vs. wine glasses. There are alcohol issues in my family and we have several friends who don't drink alcohol. When I offer beverages, I offer beverages--whether they choose one with or without alcohol doesn't matter to me. Then again, someone said they think it is an age-related thing and that might be--I'm older than the average here (50s) and have to admit that the drinking culture of some younger people is surprising to me--I work at a university so see the fallout of drinking as the social focus all too often.

I like to taste wine so I'm a slow drinker. Which is a good thing. I can take all night to nurse one glass of wine and still not finish. Midway through an event everyone eske is lit up and talking away but that means I can keep my wits about me and I come across as a good listener. I'm not much of a schmoozer or socializer so not drinking much gives me an advantage and I enjoy parties more.

Reading these comments--yes, this a problem of your 20s. I think that was the last time anyone gave me a hard time for drinking so much less than others--and that harrasser is now a recovering alcoholic while I continue to enjoy a spot of this and a dram of that whenever I want to, so... It gets better, oh bullied teetotallers.

Wow, I'm not the only one in the world who doesn't drink? Good to know! No one is ever rude to me about it, but there is always the "why?". Cuz it tastes disgusting, wine, beer, liquor-all has that alcohol taste to it that I find repulsive. But when you tell people you hate it, they offer you suggestions, "have you tried this or this, it's not very strong, blah". Yeah, I've tried different things, hate it all and have never felt the need to drink it.

I've taken to telling people I'd rather use my calories on dessert than alcohol since it usually requires less explanation & is true. Funny, when I say I hate any other food or beverage, no one questions it, but to hate alcohol is shocking.

Question for all y'all non-drinkers:

When I host a get-together I usually ask, usually in front of other people, "Can I get you a drink? We've got [x], [x], and [non-alcoholic x]." I never really considered it might be a problem, but is it a drag to have to answer "I'll have tea" or whatever in front of others? Is there a better way I could be doing this?

Many of my parties are buffet style brunches, and setting up drinks in this format makes it easy for people to pick and choose alcohol or non-alcohol. I often have a sort of do-it-yourself Bloody Mary bar consisting of pitchers of mildly spicy Virgin Marys, different varieties of vodka, a bucket of ice, jars of celery sticks, bowls of lemon wedges, and a bunch of different hot sauces; that way people can add lemon juice, spice, etc. to taste. Then in another area I will have a similar mimosa bar set-up: pitchers of different kinds of fruit juices, a variety of sparkling wines, assorted liqueurs, club soda and Pelligrino, and mint and raspberries to use as garnishes. This is fun because people get creative and come up with their own inventions -- and it sure makes everything easier for the hostess!

Really, "one of the few folks on the planet that refrains from the consumption of alcohol"? I guess the millions of Muslims and others who refrain for religious reasons don't live on this planet. Sometimes the navel-gazing naivite of this site astounds me.

@Kittywrangler: thank you for asking! :) I personally don't have any issues asking for non-alcoholic drinks in front of other people. I generally get asked if I want red or white wine and answer with 'just water please'. It's only the nagging I find annoying.

@T-Molly: to be honest, I've never met anyone else who also skips alcohol. Even my Muslim friends have a drink every now and then. So Sarah Rae may have been generalising, but it often feels like that! :)

I rarely drink. Most of my friends don't either, but if I am with people who do I also get those funny looks like... "Water? Really? That's all you are drinking?" Hey! I like water!

I find it interesting that when someone asks, "Can I get you a drink?" almost everyone on this site assumes that a drink means an alcoholic beverage. I don't make such an assumption and always ask, "What do you have that's non-alcoholic." Usually they have something. I suggest doing the same.

I have gotten the question, "Why don't you want something alcoholic?" lots of times. I do find it rude, but I think people are just curious and its also a conversation starter for those who ask I usually answer that drinking alcohol puts me to sleep and really I want to talk and have fun at a party not fall asleep on everyone. If they recommend having something alcoholic mixed with Red Bull I pull out my tried it migraine excuse then quickly move the subject to how they know the host. After meeting the same group of people at a social occasions it becomes a non issue for them.They drink their alcoholic beverages with dinner, I drink my non-alcoholic beverages with dinner we talk, laugh and tell stories.

I like a margarita, or a shot of Bailey's Irish Cream or sweet dessert wine but only one at home after a holiday meal with family. Alcoholic beverages have too many calories I would rather spend elsewhere.

I wish people would not ask why I don't drink at parties so here is a list of excuses.

It puts me to sleep
I have diabetes
I am on antibiotics
It makes me break out in hives
Because today is fill in any day of the week (let them try to work that one out)
Because tomorrow is fill in any of the week
I just took some sinus medication.

I am sure you folks can think of some more excuses.

@TMolly I would add not only Muslims, but Mormons too and possibly some other religious groups I am not aware of have taboos on drinking alcohol.

I've got a party in a couple weeks and the hosts has it planned where guests will pay $25.00 which includes all you can drink beer and booze as well as a trolley to go bar hopping. Would it be rude to email the hosts asking if I could just pay for the trolley ride since I don't drink? Thanks for your help!