Potluck parties are one of the least stressful and most budget-friendly ways to throw a dinner party. But as with most communal efforts, they work best when everyone works together, so you don't end up with 10 bottles of wine and not enough food. What are the rules you wish everyone followed when it comes to potlucks?
The inspiration for the this post was a recent LA Weekly article on 10 Potluck Etiquette Rules. Great idea — but most of the rules seem geared toward a specific, very large and very disappointing gathering the author attended. I'm more interested in the smaller, less anonymous gatherings I usually attend, which involve friends and friends of friends, people who do not necessarily cook or potluck very often.
Here are the rules I wish both guests and hosts would follow:
• Guests must bring a dish (and beer is not a dish.) Nothing is worse than a sad potluck table of mostly booze. Offering to bring drinks in lieu of food is fine, as long as you know the host needs them and not, say, a big bag of tortilla chips and a nice supermarket salsa, which are just as easy to buy as a six-pack.
• Hosts must be clear about what guests should bring. It can feel strange and cheap to ask people to bring food to a party you are inviting them to, but it is still the host's responsibility to be upfront about what will be provided and what guests need to bring. Veteran potluckers know the right questions to ask in response to a vague invite, but newbies may not.
• Guests should not assume there will be oven, stove or refrigerator space. Check with the host beforehand if your dish needs to be chilled or heated before the party starts, to make sure there is space available. Or better yet, make a dish that is hardy enough to survive the trip to the party and can be served at room temperature.
• Whether guest or host, say something nice about the other food on the table. No matter what, I try to compliment the homemade dishes on the potluck table, especially those made by someone I know is less than comfortable in the kitchen. Potlucks aren't competitions — spread goodwill!
So those are the rules I wished guests and hosts would follow at potlucks. What are yours?
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As a long-time disliker of potlucks, my rules are based on pet-peeves:
- No store bought dishes. If you want to buy supermarket junk, why don't we just go to a restaurant? This extends to bringing food from said restaurant. A bucket of KFC =/= a dish.
- There is no pressure to eat any particular dish, and getting offended at someone who doesn't try your food is rude. I don't eat sugar, so I will not be eating your dessert. Do you look down on people who don't drink? Well I abstain from sugar.
- At no time will there be more desserts than main dishes. It's a meal, not a pastry-tasting.
- "I suck at cooking" is not an excuse for premade food. Salads, punches, dips, etc. are all easy, readily available options that anyone can make. If this is too much work, then lets go to a restaurant.
Most of these are pet peeves about the format of potlucks, and not meant to be derogatory to those who don't like to cook in ANY WAY.
make enough for six, and assume someone else is making desert.
sorry, dessert...
Label the food! I can't tell from a glance if something is made with veggie vs. meat stock, for example. Also, mark your dish on the bottom with your name--a piece of painter's tape and sharpie would be fine--or someone might walk off with your plate/ bowl.
I give assignments. I mostly have potlucks with my close group of friends so this is very do-able for me. On the invite I let everyone know what the "theme" may be (if there is one) and I give each person or couple invited a particular kind of dish to bring, for example, a non-starchy vegetable dish, a starchy vegetable dish, a dessert, or a salad. It seems to work out well and people seem to enjoy the challenge of fulfilling their task. And you have a well-rounded table! I think the host should always provide the main dish and dessert. But that's because I love to bake!
If you ask the host/ess what to bring and they tell you, bring it. Don't decide you'll make a cake or salad or anything else. Stick to the plan.
All the comments are great.
Biggest peeve is the booze thing. I said bring a dish to share, not a six pack for you and you alone.
Assigning categories is good. You bring any appetizer you please, you bring a side, you bring a dessert and so on.
And yes, the oven thing. If I make something, I make it hot before I go or if not possible, I make something able to be enjoyed at room temp or cold. Nothing is more irritating that a zillion casserole dishes being shoved in your face and demanding they need time in the oven. I even recall once a raw dish coming over and the creator pitching a fit when it had to bake in full for over an hour and other people kept opening the oven to throw their things in to warm up!
Also, the premade junk. Its a picnic, I better not see a tub of that gross store potato salad. Thanksgiving don't walk in with a nasty grocery store pie. Make it yourself or offer to bring the drinks. Someone has to do drinks and its best left to the less cooking inclined, not every dude who wants his beer a the party.
Also, as a courtesy I try to avoid testing out new recipes for an event I'm bringing a dish to. Nothing sucks worse than grandma or whoever demanding you choke down whatever concoction she found in a magazine and had to try. Make something you know people will enjoy.
You can never have enough booze...especially at a potluck! lol
I have a potluck with 6-7 friends every week.
We start with an email - the host that week generally prepares the entree, and says what he/she will be making. Then everyone volunteers, usually for their specialty.... the guy who lives across the street from Whole Foods, for example, usually makes a nice salad. My friend who's a great baker makes dessert. My friends that don't cook so well pick up bread, cheese, and wine. It's simple and easy.
Remember that the goal is getting together for a couple hours with good conversation, and not the best, most balanced meal of your entire life.
My friends are generally lovely enough that they will ask, "what should I bring?" even if they've been invited to a party or dinner, much less an explicit potluck. They'll also just say "can you bring salad or dessert?" if they're hosting.
It works pretty well, but even if it doesn't it's ok, it's a party! If someone buys something premade, everyone eats it happily and compliments the choice. If there are too many desserts or too much booze and not enough other food, we laugh and eat dessert and get drunk. It makes a good story, like the "barbecue" that had no meat and was about 75% dessert.
Yes, homemade only. If you want to bring wine, that's fine, just be sure to bring your homemade dish as well.
Pet peeve -- not making a large enough quantity so that everyone at the event can have a decent sized portion!
We recently had a grand potluck for my Husband's birthday. We sent out an evite with a list or rules. This is exactly what it read.
Come HUNGRY, Leave HAPPY!
This year we are celebrating XX's Birthday culinary style.
We all have our favorite dishes, so we invite you to share with us your favorite meal you like to make.
Rules:
-We are going for HOME COOKED dishes!!!!!! If you set your kitchen on fire every time you cook, it's okay to bring something from the prepared food section in the grocery store, but please try to bring something made with your own loving hands :)
-Name your dish: give it a real fancy pants name!
-Any and all dishes are welcome. Please bring at least one, but you're welcome to bring more if the spirit moves you.
-Beverages do NOT count as a dish, however, please feel free to bring a bottle of something should you wish.
-Although we have a full kitchen, we ask that you kindly prepare your dish at home. You may however warm up your dish if needed.
-Couples…each person must bring their own dish.
-Do NOT use a “secret” recipe. This is for sharing and we ask that you submit your recipe beforehand.
-If you have any food allergies, please inform us with your reply.
-Recipes will be taken on a first-come basis. (example: If we already have one mac+cheese, we will respectfully ask you to choose something else for variety.)
PLEASE SUBMIT ALL RECIPES BY FRIDAY, JULY, 29, 2011!
The potluck was a huge success! We had about 25 guests so there was plenty of variety and everything was DELICIOUS! We also made it a little competitive and asked everyone to pick their favorite dish.
We would definitely do this kind of potluck again!!
It cracks me up that people will host a party that they expect their friends to cater for them, and then have the nerve to complain about the quality, content, origin, etc. of the catered food.
I personally DON'T have a problem with store-bought items provided you check with the host, AND it's good food. No, I wouldn't be thrilled if soemone showed up with a box of frozen pigs-in-blankets from Jumbo Mart, but if you bring tamales from my favorite taqueria, I will be your BFF. Know your audience.
Also, along with "don't assume fridge/oven/stove space" - don't assume counter or prep space. I once had someone decide to bring a salad to prep on-site, which took up every inch of work space in my little kitchen for almost an hour.
Two of the potlucks I've been to lately have definitely had storebought things that needed to be heated there (mini quiches)! And they ended up stealing the show! I think the only thing that bothers me is when someone (and it ends up being me, ironically) brings something without thinking about serving it, so they need a dish from the host or utensils. I end up bringing cookies in a big tupperware or a baguette with cheese, but don't have a platter or knife or anything to display and serve, and then get really annoyed with myself!
I must just be lucky with potluck dinners, because we've never, ever specified any rules: we just invite people, and ask them to bring a dish. Everybody knows what a potluck is, it is not a hard or weird concept! To get the ball rolling, we tell people in the invite what we (as hosts) are providing as our "main dish" contribution. We also always do appetizers, wine and dessert (motto: "hosts should provide the mosts!") Then guests bring the rest, and we all share. We've also had great luck doing a "wine and cheese" party in a similar fashion: we provide two bottles of wine, two cheeses, and enough bread to feed an army: then each guest just brings one wine and one cheese. We end up with a HUGE amount of new wines to taste and delicious cheeses. It's so fun and a great twist on potluck that requires no effort!
Bring the recipe where it can be put beside the dish -- so many people have food allergies now. I may need to do assignments. At my last pot luck, a collective of five brought a huge dish of watermelon slices and then ate heartily from everyone else's contributions. We ran out of entrees... so.
I second the "store bought doesn't count" comment. I hate when I slave over a homemade dish only to set it down next to someone's bag 'o chips. If you want to bring chips, make dip to go with them. Put a little effort in.
I also hate it when I ask the host/hostess what to bring and suggest something only to have them turn their nose up at it when it arrives. "Bring a dessert? OK. How about a lemon pie?" "sure, that sounds fine. Then when I arrive, "oh, I don't don't like lemon pie so I made strawberry shortcake." For real? Then why didn't you suggest I make strawberry shortcake!
Another pet peeve is, being a vegetarian, hearing "bring something you can eat." I don't expect everyone to cater to me, but if you know I'm coming can you not make every single dish with meat in it? Even the mashed potatoes were made with chicken broth and the salad had bacon on it! Why should I make enough to share when no one will be sharing with me.
I'm a vegetarian, so I always volunteer to bring a main dish, and I make damn sure it's one I know for a fact the omnivores will go for, too.
My rule is for potlucks involving children. If your little one has allergies or is picky or you have reason to suspect will balk at trying an unfamiliar casserole made by a total stranger (this is probably wise from an evolutionary standpoint, after all) BRING A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOUR KIDDO WILL EAT. Do not foist the problem of finding something your kid can eat on the hosts! That is, either bring your kiddo's favorite dish that you KNOW they will eat, OR bring something for your kid IN ADDITION TO your contribution.
- Just because it's a potluck does not mean the host has equal responsibilities as the guests. The host should be providing more food than others and make sure there is at least one plentiful entree and beverages.
- Themes and assignments are good. People really do respond well to limits. Saying,' just bring anything you want,' can leave guests feeling overwhelmed with choices and then they just stop by the grocery and pick up a frozen something or other. I, personally, always find meals better when there's a cohesive theme, (which is why I tend to avoid throwing potlucks), so letting your guests know it's Mexican night, summer harvest, comfort food, etc. can help guide them to recipes.
- There's no excuse for not being able to cook or being 'too busy'. You can still bring quality food. Pick up some great bread and cheese, an assortment of olives and meats, make a tray of seasonal fruit, find some locally made ice cream, etc. If you do bring store bought food, put a little effort into presentation: unwrap the cheeses and slice the bread and put it on a nice tray, bring some toasted nuts and chocolate sauce for the ice cream, put that store bought salsa in a nice bowl instead of keeping it in the plastic tub.
Man oh man, I wish someone brought beer or wine to potlucks rather than chips and dip. It's funny that is such a common problem: one grad student types wish they had!
I agree with most of the comments above, especially foodefafa's that the host should provide at least one substantial dish. I like to make the dish vegetarian just so I've got my bases covered. There's nothing like a huge pot of (cheap) black bean soup as filler in case your potluck does not pan out as planned.
I also agree that if you don't have time to prep a dish, nice cured meats and cheeses or a nice olive tray, which fodefafa suggests above are appropriate. SO much better than again, chips and salsa, which are not a part of a complete meal.
If you guests will stand it, and I realize it does seem anal, we've had good success in our group of friends with sharing what we'll bring in a Google doc--not everyone fills in something, but a core group usually does, which helps me figure out what I'll contribute to round out the menu.
I try to make sure that guests with little time/money know that they can come sans food/booze and not feel like a cheapskate.
I second the host (usually me) making a little extra. Something I've done very successfully in the past is have a theme that lowers the price/skill of what folks make. I had a "breakfast for dinner" potluck and made about a million waffles, and people brought toppings: whipped cream, fruit, pesto, garlicky sauces, peppers, fancy syrup, sausage, etc. It was great!
Whenever I host a party I always provide a main dish and two or three snacky things. I tell people what I'm making, so they know what else to bring. And if we end up with four desserts and three bags of chip with dip? Who cares? At least there's enough pulled pork sandwiches (or whatever I decide to make) for everyone. If people ask what to bring, I usually give them some guidelines like "bring dessert" or "why not a cheese plate" and I try not to tell two different people the same thing. I also let the non-cooking college kids get off lightly by asking them to bring soda or a veggie tray or a nice loaf of french bread if they are worried about cooking.
And I agree that the host should provide the most - after all, it's your party.
I think all of the suggestions here are fabulous.
A few of my friends and I get together for bi-weekly, potluck-style dinner parties. We haven't run into problems yet. The host usually puts on the main and everyone else contibutes dessert, salad/appetizer, or wine. We always have plenty of food and wine to go around.
Most of the potlucks we attend have a high percentage of teens so generally we bring either a main dish and side or main dish and dessert. If I only bring one thing, I make sure it's a large amount.
When we do a taco bar everyone provides their own taco meat and we sign up for the toppings to make sure it's all covered. Plus I usually make a big pot of black beans to share.
Y'all seem a bit uptight about your potlucks. Perhaps it's being in graduate school that brings out the 'hey, i love to share food!' in me, but I LOVE hosting/attending a good potluck. We even did it for Thanksgiving this year.
Solution to not knowing what will be there, balancing main dish vs. sides vs. desserts etc. --- USE A GOOGLE DOC! This is 2011 people, we have organizing tools. Just set up a nice little spreadsheet, insert a few categories, put yourself, as the host, under main dish etc and list what you're making/will have already. If you feel particularly controlling, you can separate sides into starches and veggies etc. Then just include the link in the invite and ask people to sign up to bring something.
This process doesn't have to be anxiety inducing - it should be fun!
I truly don't see what's wrong with bringing non-homeade. I would never buy from a cheap supermarket; in fact if I do bring non-homeade I go to the best local eatery and spend a fortune on masterfully-made food. Which everyone at the potluck loves and asks about. If you don't want to slave over a hot stove, don't. I can cook but not in bulk; I'd rather see my fellow guests enjoy the food rather than being able to say I made it myself.
Potlucks are supposed to be something that’s fun, when you start placing too many rules and requirements it loses all of that and alienates people. Sure some basic guidelines, but nothing store-bought? Really people?
I know my father absolutely hates potlucks for this reason. He can make a total of 3 dishes (none of which are pot-luck suitable) so he normally just buys something or doesn’t bother going unless I happen to be in town and can make something for him to bring. Similarly for my Cambodian mother, who for the most part only knows how to make Cambodian food. She’s found that whenever she brings a dish to a non-asian dominated event not a single person will touch her food. She now rarely goes out to non-asian gatherings at all since she feels discriminated against.
And though I always bring something homemade myself there have been times when I’d just moved and all my things were in boxes and simply couldn’t. and I understand when someone comes over to a potluck I’m hosting and brings something store bought. Especially since most of them are soldiers and all the single soldiers have to live in the barracks W/O a kitchen (the horror!)
Emmi, I think the issue with non-homemade food isn't that non-homemade is bad. Its just, in most people's experience ,I'd bet at parties where guests just got lazy or couldn't cook rather than find something nice to bring pre-made or do a nice cured meat/cheese type thing like others suggested, they go to the pre-made section of their local generic grocery and get one of those tubs of generic whatever and toss it on the table at a party.
I've been to great parties where guests or even the host got the food from a store but it wasn't your local jumbo-mart. It was hand made mini-sandwiches or the like. That stuff is great, but most people just hop into Walmart or wherever, grab some chip or a tub of coleslaw and drive over to the party.
@Sberry I'm allergic to wheat so I would welcome your mother's Cambodian fare!
I don't usually have potluck parties, but when I do, it's definitely themed. It's easier on everyone and I won't be as easily irked over someone's contribution because it didn't "fit" in.
But anyway, if there is one rule, above all, that I always insist on people sticking to is that it must be cooked at home, from scratch. It isn't really all that hard to follow since my closest friends all love to cook and make everything themselves. I feel like the few that cook and make everything themselves are a motivation for those that would just go out and buy something.
@jmorri Thanks, hopefully most people feel that way. Some are saying it's unfair for them to slave over a hot stove if others will not do the same; of course I prefer to make the food but not if I'm in a rush and people are not going to enjoy it. Of course my sacrifice is from the wallet at that point, LOL
RAINBOW POTLUCK!
My favorite potluck that I hosted was a "rainbow potluck" where I invited a good sized group of people (about 20 in all) and each person was assigned a color by the first letter of their first name.
A-E Red
F-I Orange
J-M Yellow
N-Q Green
R-U Blue
V-Z Purple
It was a lot of fun, and people who didn't have a first name starting with V, W, X, Y or Z even opted for purple for the challenge. It was a lot of fun and people enjoyed the challenge a lot! They were also encouraged to bring a drink with the color on the label or color of the drink. A well balanced meal is multi-colored as well! Since I was the host I made something with all colors - a totally rockin' salad... next time I'll opt for a salad and that really neat rainbow cake that I keep seeing posted on here.
I'm not a fan of people who bring store bought items, but it's better than nothing. But usually those who bring store bought items also bring booze. So that makes up for it.
But here are a few things that annoy the crap out of me when I have potlucks. Bringing non fresh foods- such as pate or cheese that has obviously been eaten the past few days. At least make it fresh!
If you're bringing drinks, try to bring more than 2 cans (which you reserve and hide for yourself). At least try to share!
Don't pick at the food using your hands! At any time! I have no idea where your skank hands have been!
My hugest pet peeve- Don't take food that doesn't belong to you when you leave! You can take your food before you leave. But don't assume everyone wants to feed you!
For small and family potlucks, I think it's a different experience. I love bringing our homemade mango salsa, or if there are others like me, homemade gluten free pasta salad. At small events where we all know each other, it's one thing. But at larger ones people complain that they don't want spicy food or anything not classic American comfort food. That's when I bring (great quality) restaurant or market-bought. Then people shove each other and reach over me to get stuff; I guess I just don't like the large-scale or (at my old job) work potlucks where people aren't considerate of each other.
I agree the rules vary based on the group. I think the host should always provide the main dish and provide some guidance (but not a specific recipe) so there isn't duplicates. I have to disagree about store bought. A bag of chips is unacceptable, but not everyone is a good cook and I would much rather them be aware of it and bring something they know everyone will enjoy rather than subject everyone to their cooking.
Oooh, the rainbow potluck is a great idea! I think another fun potluck theme would be picking one cookbook (maybe from the library) and the guests each make something that inspires them from it (this is assuming your guests like to cook of course). That way everyone can taste a variety of different foods and it would be a good way to decide whether you'd want to purchase the cookbook for yourself.
I think having a potluck theme is fun- like italian night or mexican night or even a season food night. But getting all persnickety on the rules is a big downer. Some of my FAVORITE potlucks have been the ones with nothing but appetizers..or with just a bunch of cakes. I think as we get older we get crabby about what we eat and where's the FUN in that? I might just plan a potluck and tell everyone to bring desserts. :)
I'm sorry but, you invite, you cook. Especially if you organize an event for someone (birthday). Let's see, I orginized a dinner party for my girlfreind and you are all invited but please bring your own food, your own booze, and your napkins... You know, I don't want to get mine dirty. Please don't invite me to your potluck.
I usually provide all the food for our annual holiday party, or if we are actually hosting a party for someone like an engagement party. However we've been hosting (as in providing our apartment as a venue) a few parties lately for friends' birthdays, or welcome home cook-outs, and we've made those potluck.
This sounds sort of harsh, but just because a party is at my house doesn't mean I should have to pay for all the food/booze for a bunch of people who I do not know. Yes, I will decorate, make a playlist, and provide more food than anyone else, but it's great to get some help. I do themes as well. The most recent was a 30th birthday wild west party so I asked people to bring cowboy/Southwest/Mexican dishes. It worked out great!
I love a good potluck but I feel like they're SO hard to pull off (perhaps it's the people I'm dining with...)
We tried a taco bar night last weekend at a girlfriends house and it was an utter disaster. No one stuck to what they were supposed to bring so I wound up pinch hitting and bringing (and spending) way more than most. Super frustrating. I'd love to try this idea again but I'll be the hostess because I think it could really work. Perhaps I'll have to read and forward along the "rules" in hopes that people understand.
I'm surprised at all the "homemade only" comments too. I guess I usually do potluck with close enough friends that they don't get insulted when I didn't have the time, inclination, energy, ingredients, or whatever to make something from scratch. Nobody cares. I probably bring homemade more than half the time, but I don't think anyone is keeping track.
Bring serving spoons, etc...I always get stuck with plenty of dishes, but no way to serve them up!
Ironically, if I mark my food as "vegan" it's less likely to be taken. What to do? The vegans (and vegetarians) want to know what's for them, but everyone else is scared off. I don't think they're doing it to be polite, either. Any ideas?
@Tanya make a label with a yummy description of each dish and write in parentheses below, "vegan" or "contains meat". I'm sure if it's subtle people will focus more on the label!
I guess I am lucky--the only potlucks we really do are with our neighbors about every 2 months and we plan who is bringing what, everything is homemade and well made, and we have a terrific time. I sued to work in an office that did potlucks for a while--once it became clear that many people were buying not making, we decided to just go out as an office instead. MUCH better!
The potluck dinners here in Ithaca, NY are legendary. Amazing food all around and lots of it. I always assume EIGHT servings for a dish but many people provide more (maybe it's 16 per couple in their minds). No specs, just bring whatever. And people over the years have learned NO STORE BOUGHTS. I love our potlucks here.
I've also learned over the years if I'm hosting I have loads of back up serving spoons and such. People do forget.
Oh my, the woman 2nd from the left is my grade 5 teacher. Well maybe not, but she certainly looks like her.
We're all about potlucks in the south, but I've never seen anyone take them so seriously. The only rule I can think of is to think about picky eaters. But that's just because I'm really picky.
Oh, and also make sure to keep your dish at the proper temperature. And someone needs to bring a salt shaker (if the potluck isn't being held at someone's house).
When I lived in New England, potlucks among my group of friends were not very common. Now I live in SoCal where they seem to be the norm. Odd as this may sound, I wish that people would not seem hurt, or even worse over ride me, when I ask them to bring nothing but something great to drink. My husband and I love to plan and cook a menu and would love to be able to serve what we've planned. That said, I also love last minute get togethers where everyone brings what they have and we make a meal of it--that is very fun.
@Emmi: Great idea! I'll remember to try that next time.
Man after reading all these rules about potuck you guys have killed the whole thing for me.
Potlucks are about community! I would hate to think that if I didn't enjoy cooking, or if I only had time to swing by the grocery store, some of previous posters would judge me so harshly.
While potlucks are a great opportunity to share a favorite dish — which, for foodies like most of this site's readers, is a FUN opportunity — we should appreciate the simple act of sharing a meal among friends. Regardless of who brought what. Yeesh.
@Tanya67 List ingredients - it's not obvious to most omnivores, and helps guests with food allergies, too.
I've only been to a few potlucks and only one of them was not an explicitly vegan event, so I dropped the only other vegan guest a line to let her know what I would be bringing. It was a small family gathering, though - for a larger party I'd just list ingredients or bring the recipe.
At the crucial first-time-meeting-my-boyfriends-clan Thanksgiving potluck, I was informed by the matriarchs that I was make mashed potatoes. I told them I don't cook, I bake. They insisted. I reminded them that mashed potatoes cannot be made by a baker. They insisted.
They got mashed potatoes made from a box. After the meal, the matriarchs (three of them) surrounded me and demanded to know if I had made the mashed potatoes from scratch. I batted my eyelashes and cooed, "Of course!"
The following year, they discovered just how delicious my baked goods are and the making of mashed potatoes reverted to the master of all mashed potatoes -- my boyfriend. His mashed potatoes are magnificent, melt-in-your-mouth, buttery, creamy peaks of delight.
Our Thanksgiving potlucks go much more smoothly now.
Interesting article - I didn't know people took potlucks so seriously. I think it's just a casual, fun way to get together with your friends..I think all the rules take the fun out of it.
This is how we plan our potlucks: Potluck this Friday, bring a dish to share!
And you know what? It always works out - there's enough food to eat, enough to drink and everyone has a good time. To me, it's about hanging out with friends not criticizing their food choice (What?! You brought store bought potato salad - how inconsiderate! You should have slaved over a hot stove for days to feed us!)
The timing of this is good, with family reunions all over the land.
I do not assign dishes to people, but I ask that they tell me what they want to bring. We have had too many coleslaws and not enough fruit salads, where a little communication would have straightened that out.
Pet peeve: When people decide that your dinner is going to be a potluck when you have not asked for anything. My brother and wife do that, and it's insulting to have them hand me a casserole of something when I have a carefully-planned dinner. They're saying they don't plan to like the food by that action.
My other pet peeve is when it's BYO, and people bring two beers for themselves, one in each coat pocket, not even a six-pack for the table to cover the people who forgot or who dropped in, etc.
hlg22, the point of a POTLUCK is that everyone shares. If you have the time and money to make enough food for dozens of people, and the space to entertain them, good for you.
My friends and I regularly potluck, and it usually goes like this: the host makes the main dish and lets everyone know what it is, then everyone decides what to add. Works out fine!
Successfull Potluck/Carry-in Meals
The whole idea of these meals are to promote fellowship, fun and unity, so I'm happy with whatever people bring. Just because I'm a foodie, doesn't mean I judge their food.
BBQ Idea; Everyone brings whatever kind of meat they like (or can afford) to put on our big grill. An arrray of salads, sides and a dessert, along with beverages and tableware are provided.
Church; The Food Committee provides the main dish, beverages and tableware. Everyone else brings whatever they can. I always made sure every member of my family had a food item to set on the buffet table.
Last Name idea; We're having a carry-in dinner for 20 guests, If your last name starts with a letter between A-K bring a main dish, L-S bring a salad and T-Z a dessert! Beverages and tableware are provided.
Have fun at Potlucks or Carry-ins.
My sister's MIL is such a control freak that she will assign a specific dish (and often provide the recipe) and has gone so far as to provide a bag of the ingredients necessary to make the recipe. I find that obnoxious in the extreme.
@tanya67 - Having gone to a mostly vegan potluck, without having been informed ahead of time that it was going to be mostly vegan, I was glad to have brought my veggie-friendly but not vegan dish. Which I ate a lot of.
Please let guests know if there is a preference, and encourage variety! Some of us can't eat soy!
I also find, for potluck picnics, that no one ever remembers to bring the fruit salad....be that hero!
I love potlucks! I think they're a fun, easy way for friends to come together and show off their favorite dishes. We usually do a barbecue potluck in the summer and a holiday potluck around Christmas. We provide a light main dish, a side dish and a dessert, plus dishes, napkins, cups, utensils and non-alcoholic beverages. And serving dishes, if needed. I always tell my guests what I'm making, and if they want to bring something, they're welcome to. Or not. This way, it doesn't matter what people bring and I don't have to "assign" anything. People bring what they want to "showcase" and there's PLENTY of food to go around. It always works for us. My husband's family does potlucks twice a year, too, but they assign things. It's not a bad idea, really, but they never switch it up. Every year I know that I'll be bringing an appetizer for Christmas and a salad for the 4th of July (and not a fruit salad- that's a different assignment all together). Always the same. I just wish that one year I could get assigned to bring a dessert! Or rolls. Something that would allow me to bake! Yes - I can cook. And I'm a good cook. But I'm a MUCH better baker. The fun of a potluck is the flexibility. You may not have a perfectly planned menu, but that's okay. If that's what you want, then a potluck is not the format for you!
At one potluck I attended, the host politely asked me to trade my dessert duty for something else, because another guest only had time to pick something up from a bakery on the way over. I'm flexible - so fine. This couple showed up with these gross grocerystore-made mincemeat pies for their dessert!! What kind of dessert is that?!?!
Moral: Don't be weird about what you bring. Just pick something everyone will like. (Especially when it comes to dessert.)
Living in RV parks, potlucks are a fact of life and I *love* them! The first rule is that everyone brings their own dishes and a chair. The second rule is that whomever has the biggest rig 'hosts' if it has to be done inside (usually these things happen outside). How these things start is that one neighbour will say, "Hey, Thanksgiving is next weekend! I'm cooking a turkey breast. Why don't you bring that great Brussel sprouts dish that you make? I bet Wendy will make her mashed potatoes, we can always rely on Meghan for her stuffing, and Shirley makes the best cake!" Someone always gets invited at the last minute and gets assigned to buns and butter, salad and dressing, a veggie or fruit platter, etc.
(as for the mincemeat pies, what's wrong with that??? they are SO yummy)
I went to a Thanksgiving Pot Luck one year and the girl that had said she would make Pumpkin Pies showed up at the party with a bag of flour pound of Lard and 2 Pumpkins .
We nearly died she whipped up the real homemade pies while we had cocktails put them in the oven while we had dinner and we had the best Pumpkin pie I had ever eaten.
My group is not as opposed to bringing store/restaurant bought food to a potluck but we have placed conditions on it. It has to be quality, none of that stale supermarket break or frozen appetizers. If they want to go to a quality bakery and buy some fresh rolls or a lovely cake then we're glad to have it. As well as restaurant food. I have two friends that are highly culinary-challenged and after several failed potluck dishes call ahead to restaurants we like to frequent and order a dozen entrees, which is by no means cheap but its makes everyone feel like they contributed an equal amount of effort. we are a BYOB group just becuase we all have varied tastes, and its rare that we get more than two or three people drinking the same thing.
On the other hand, whenever I go to my family reunion its always a potluck diaster that no one ever learns from. For the past ten years there have been yearly grocery store runs, frantic phone calls when they realize that 5 dozen eggs will not feed 80 people but the bacon is alreadly cooking. I think its becuase everyone brings the exact same food/dish every year, (my family included), & the storage for small premade things is limited. I normally pitch in with my grandma who makes about 350 sandwiches to keep in a cooler for people to much on all weekend which are always a lifesaver during the kitchen disasters. I think with bigger events like that you need to either assign grocery lists or specific dishes to people which is something they've always avoided doing. And even though it seems tacky, I don't they they would be remiss is leaving out a food money jar to cover some of the costs for the people who show up with nothing (i.e. half the guests).
I love potlucks. As far as rules or guidelines, please bring your dish assembled, cooked and just needing reheating if necessary. Please don't come from the market, needing to prepare and assemble your dish on arrival! (i'm sure it's happened to all of us!) Most of our friends will always ask what they can bring as soon as we make plans to get together and I really appreciate that. A group dinner is fun and so doable when it's a group effort with the food. The main thing is to enjoy time together so I try to make sure that form doesn't overtake that.
Whenever I bring something to a potluck, I try to bring something homemade, and take into account my friends who are vegetarian or have dietary restrictions and make something they can eat. I don't demand homemade always, and don't mind if someone bought something rather than made it, if they made a little effort with it (put it on a nice plate, heated it, etc.) - we've all had times when we just couldn't devote the time to slave in the kitchen. But just had to post with two weird potluck experiences recently. For the first, the organizer asked me to buy a tray of vegetables. Not bring a tray of vegetables; she specifically said go buy one. I can cook, I like cooking, and it felt odd to be asked to buy something so mundane. I finally called her back and said I would bring a fresh vegetable salad which I made at home, with my homegrown tomatoes. For the second, we were encouraged to go upscale in our presentation. So I made pretty cake squares with pretty decorations and put them on a pretty glass dish. Not 5 minutes after I arrived, I found the hostess taking my cake squares off my plate, putting them on her plates and putting them on a three-tier stand, where you couldn't see most of the pieces of cake that I had slaved to decorate. My plate was washed by the helper and returned to me within the next 5 minutes and I could only go and put it back in the car. I was dumbfounded. Not like I slapped down a plastic container of brownie bites or something. Not a good start to the event. So here are three rules from me: look out for the people who don't have a lot of food options, don't insult people's cooking skills, and don't muck with the guests' dishes!
I too try to bring something homemade that will suit everyone - usually a salad, some baked good or a fruit salad. I have a friend who throws only potlucks - including her most recent birthday luncheon potluck. Surely that was a breach of some sort of potluck etiquette, especially when she only provided the drinks, deviled eggs and birthday cake - for lunch! Only 1 friend brought anything resembling a main dish - cold cuts because she had thought to ask me if our hostess friend was providing any burgers or hot dogs or other main dish sort of thing - a life saver because almost everyone there came with kids. Everyone else brought salads, bread and fruit. Same friend asked me if she could cook her steak dish at my house for a potluck I threw the other day, lol. I told her that we were using the oven for other things so she should cook it at home. Love her dearly, but we clearly subscribe to different branches of potluck etiquette.
I really don't have any hard and fast potluck rules - luckily most of my friends ask me for suggestions beforehand and so I will suggest a certain type of dish (ex. salad, dessert, finger food, dip, whatever) to each one so that I can make sure that we will have a variety of options with the knowledge that I will be providing the dishes that could be considered main dishes.
I'm a guest for Thanksgiving at my sister in laws where I spend a LOT of time in the kitchen washing dishes, preparing, etc. My offers to host are rebuffed so she does it and does it her way. This year, instead of having us all work in the kitchen getting side dishes together, she wants us to make them at home. Great idea! But she also is assigning specific recipes. Is this a bit much? I'm a good cook, too.
I just posted something on that. It is too much to tell people to follow a certain recipe? So overbearing.