I struggle with this too. The kitchen feels like my sanctuary. It's my place to get away after a long day because, really, is there anything more calming than standing over a pot and stirring? When there's someone else there I'm totally bewildered, like "Why is THAT PERSON in MY SPACE?"

I really should work on this. Thanks for the article!

Yes, take a deep breath! And unless you are professional cooker of things, keep in mind that your way may be just as good as your partner's way of doing things. So, work together, compromise, don't condescend. You're both working towards the same goal and you're both on the same team. Divvy up the tasks and try to not get in each others way. Think about the "dance" that you do at your workplace and how it's a result of working with other people in a defined space over time. That's my advice on working together in the kitchen. The great thing is that the more you do it, the better you get at it. Like a lot of things you may do together. Now a big group in the kitchen is a whole other ball game. Good luck!

We're making pie tonight, so this is exactly what I needed. Thanks.

Ugh, this is so hard though! I totally agree with Kay_Jay, the kitchen is my realm. If other people are there talking to me, I get so confused. Do not even think about suggesting a different way to do something.

It's a struggle for me to cook with my partner. Both of us are very opinionated and strong-willed (bordering on stubborn...OK, we're stubborn). But we've both improved. We're at the point now where we can both take a step back when the "tone" starts getting nasty.

Some practical advice: Divide up the tasks. You prepare the meat and your partner prepares the veggies. You measure the dry ingredients, and your partner measures the wet. If each person is in charge of one component of the recipe, things go a lot more smoothly.

My boyfriend and I figured out pretty early on: we can't work together on much anything of a project. This sounds like complete disaster, I know. We're both such leaders that each of us tries to take charge and the other gets frustrated because blah blah blah.
We're the idiots who decided to throw a dinner party in less than a month with no experience in this field whatsoever. We've found that working on different aspects or different steps and telling ourselves to shut up works pretty well.

My husband doesn't cook, he doesn't like to cook, and if he is forced to cook he makes peanut butter sandwiches or heats soup. Our kitchen is tiny, barely enough room for one (I ran out of room this morning just making pie dough) let alone another set of elbows, hands, and a butt in the way. He'll vacuum, sweep, maybe set the table, ready the wine, and hover a bit around the pumpkin pies (one of which is his alone but he always shares!) He will clear the table, put stuff away, load the d/washer, etc. Oh, and he'll hover over the pumpkin pie since it's almost time for dessert. :-) He's out now, picking out wine and finding some movies for us to watch. It works well!

Also, I agree with clampers - I cannot carry on a conversation and cook. I tend to be wholeheartedly in whatever I am doing, and find it very difficult to split my attention and do more than one thing well, at a time. Multi-tasking is a myth!

We usually let whoever had the idea be the boss. So if it's my recipe, I'm the boss and he's the sous chef, and vice versa.

Not that we don't have disagreements, but at least there's some division of power/labor.

It also helps if you both have some wine while you cook ;-)

One of my dear friends is an old boyfriend -- and one of the reasons why we dated as long as we did, and why we remain friends today, is that each of us is on the others' short list of "people with whom I can actually work well together in a kitchen." Somehow the first time we tried cooking together we just got into this weird symbiotic brainspace and it worked perfectly, to the point that halfway through we both looked up at each other and said, "...wow."

Most of the time, I'm more like my father -- he likes to Take Over a kitchen, and every time I go visit and he's in the kitchen, sometimes Mom sneaks in to "just check the oven" or "just get out this one thing," and after about five minutes' worth of this Dad will finally bark, "GET OUT OF HERE!" and chase everyone out.

As others have mentioned, division of labor in the kitchen is a must, as are alcohol and frequent expressions of affection and appreciation. We've been going through about two bottles of gin per month, with nearly all of it being consumed during food preparation.

Typically, when we're baking, my girlfriend is in charge, and I defer to her judgments and follow her directions. When we make meals and such, we usually have the opposite chain of command, and she lets me make the judgment calls.

It usually works pretty well, and when it doesn't, we still have alcohol and frequent expressions of affection and appreciation, so we get through it one way or another.

What I have found to be the recipe for success is dividing the food and who is in charge of what. I'll be the lead on mashed potatoes and the turkey, for example, and will act as sous chef for the soup and stuffing.

A good friend of the family said something to me years ago that I say to myself each year. "There's another word for Thanksgiving: Thursday."

Where is the recipe for that delicious looking apple cake?

The kitchen is the inner sanctum. Of all the days you should allow non-believers in....it's Thanksgiving. That said, when my friend came into the kitchen as I was making whipped cream for my pumpkin chiffon pie.....and DUMPED in all the sugar into the mixer and it went DEAD FLAT.....I resolved to never let in anyone into the kitchen to cook nor clean up. The dining room is JUST FINE for everyone. Norman Rockwell style. Happy Thanksgiving!

We worked that out shortly after we got married to avoid killing each other. When things started going south I learned to look him square in the eye and say, "Get out of my kitchen."

Works every time.

When my husband and I try to work together in the kitchen, it's usually me ordering him around and/or getting frustrated with him.

I started just asking him for help as my extra pair of hands doing tasks that don't require much thought - stirring, rinsing stuff, putting away ingredients, removing stuff from oven, etc...

Wow! I guess I need to consider myself really lucky. My partner and I both love to cook so sharing the kitchen is just another part of sharing our lives and experiences together. When he cooks, I play sous chef and vice versa, drink some wine, play some tunes and we have a wonderful time. There has never been any tension nor any "control" issues. Good luck everyone! Just relax and enjoy the company of the one you love.

I hate solitary cooking, and I do not see the kitchen as my 'domain', even though I usually end up doing most of the cooking in our household. Whenever we have guests, I jump at the chance to enlist the help of others, it's so much more enjoyable for everyone.

The purpose of having other people in my kitchen is for them to sip wine and provide witty commentary. Actual cooking, it's easier for me to do than to explain, especially in very limited space.

But I'm also happy to watch others cook without kibbitzing.

Our kitchen is the size of a hall closet, so we almost never share the kitchen. As my husband remarked today, "it gets a little elbowy in here" if two people try to work on separate projects.

We've been switching off kitchen duties all day. He's in there right now making his legendary roasted squash galettes --- something to be thankful for indeed!

I think working with my honey in the kitchen has helped me to be less of a control freak. I offer to help, but I keep my mouth shut when he does things "incorrectly." Last time he made pasta, I noticed he stuck the spaghetti in the pot of cold water and heated the whole thing up together. Sacrilege! What would Christopher Kimball say!?!

I learned my lesson, though, when the pasta came out just fine.

I don't know everything, there's more than one "proper" way to do most things, and it's a lot more important to treat him as the wonderful, talented, smart guy he is than to be "right" all the time. :)

i did pretty well heeding my own advice -- not perfect, but pretty good. I was aware and I took the deep breaths and lots of great food was created in my tiny kitchen, with many people doing the dance in there! Happy Day to all, I really enjoyed reading these comments.

i did dishes while the wife cooked. that worked really well. and then i took a nap and we cuddled.

My husband and I tend to shout at each other in the kitchen. But he LOVES to cook with my best friend, listening them work together in the kitchen is a lovely thing.

Tequila and Buddy Holly, I'm just saying. After butting heads on many a kitchen collaboration, my lovely partner began one by busting out a surprise bottle of really nice tequila, dancing me around the kitchen, then apologizing in advance in for any potential jerky behavior.

It became a tradition of sorts, until eventually we just started working so well together and having a blast without any *ahem* assistance needed - usually.

We throw a yearly holiday party together - I am in charge of cooking and he is in charge of cleaning the apartment. It works out well. If he does decide to make or prep something, I make sure I am out of the kitchen doing something else. It's the only way to maintain peace!

I have a bit off the point comment, or moreover a question. On the first photo, there are Ozujsko beers in front of you, on the table, so I was wondering where was it taken, or where can you get that beer? It's originally Croatian beer, so where is it available in the US?

how funny dunja! this photo was actually taken in Croatia, last spring -- it was an amazing trip with remarkable food and beverage!
that said, not sure where you can get Ozujsko in the US. Good luck!