I have run into a very similar problem with my boyfriend and some of our friends. At the last party I threw he actually made a buffalo chicken dip for people to eat! One thing I've realized is that if the food looks plentiful, the guests are happier and less concerned with what it is you are serving (if you choose to follow your own tastes instead, which I hope you do). I wouldn't totally abandon the things you like because it is your party and it is important for you to enjoy it.

If you're looking for appetizers, I've had great success with crostini featuring italian meats like prosciutto and salami and delicious cheeses. This loaf bread with cheese and onions is also a total crowd pleaser (the assembly directions are a bit off but you can just stack 4 long slices in the loaf pan and it works perfectly) http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/pull-apart-cheesy-onion-bread

For mains, a make your own chili bar is always fun, and I've also had a really successful NYE party doing a make your own fajita bar, with all the usual fixings (cheese, sourcream, etc) and then some more gourmet stuff like fancy guacamole, salsas, corn salad etc. which was more up my ally.

I'm definitely in both camps (at least if we replace the Bud Lite with real beer). Nothing wrong with wings if you don't get them sopping wet with the hot sauce. So make some wings, but offer some classier dishes too.

A couple things I recently brought to potlucks that disappeared long before most other dishes did:

Dolmada - kind of labor intensive, but tasty and if you don't use meat (I don't) even vegan guests can eat them.

Gravlax - takes 3-4 days to cure, so you need some lead time. This will be very popular, even with the bud lite crowd. Slice it up thin ahead of time, serve with a nice cracker and maybe some capers.

You can just have both wings and cheese platters. Or instead of wings you can make a buffalo chicken dip and maybe serve some nicer beers. Sliders can also be fun. If you want you can make them fancier by making them with lamb and tziki (sp) or duck meat.

What about assemble-your-own quesadillas? Fry the tortillas ahead of time, cook and chop some fillings, and grate a few different cheeses. That way, you can appease a variety of tastes with something universally enjoyed. Once they are assembled, put the on baking sheets and pop them in the oven to melt. Provide a bunch of traditional and nontraditional toppings, and you might even be surprised at what they go for.

The same idea can be used with pizza. Buy or parbake several personal sized pizza shells and let people top them with anything they want.

I definitely fall in between both of those worlds as do my friends. We do really well with cheese and olive plates right along side our wings! We recently had a vegetarian bring skewered cheese, sweet pickles, and olive appetizer to our carnivorous group and we loved it. Food transcends groups, especially when booze is involved.

cheese is pretty good at doing a high/low dance.
what about gougères or cheese straws? or those cheese and olive balls from the kitchn's archives: http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-pop-em-in-your-mouth-ch-47009

I'm a fan of unfussy and delish, and beyond that I think most folks are flexible too. Although Bud isn't beer, don't serve that to humans you like. But I'm from Milwaukee.

Pizza. You can make fancy schmancy ones with pears and goat cheese and angel tears or whatever and serve them alongside pepperoni and sausage. I use frozen dough for crusts and then let my boyfriend make some and I make others. This usually makes everyone happy. And really, who DOESN'T like cheese? Just have a variety with a few that aren't too strong. Nice antipasti platters aren't intimidating and you can have posh charcuterie alongside the slimjims and cocktail weenies if you want. And plenty of booze. Just for the love of pete not freaking Bud Light.

You can't go wrong with bruschetta...topped with either fresh tomatoes, or your favourite pesto or tapenade!

Thanks all for the comments and the yummy ideas! I fear the bud light is non-negotiable but I will also have some tasty 'real' beer for those willing to branch out (and sparkling wine of course!)

Devils on horseback! I just did a simple bacon wrapped date but you can do other variations. That and anything else bacon related, or a variety of dips, salsas, veggies, chips. Or try out different things on endive leaves....like bacon/avocado, walnuts/cranberry sauce...

Your stress here is self-induced. Just do both & be done with it. You might be surprised how many wings/beer folks attack the cheese....and perhaps even the wine. When in doubt, I just toss some easy chilli-cheese dip in the crockpot & dump a bag of tortilla chips or two in a bowl as a backup. Rarely are there leftovers. Have fun.

Everyone loves tacos.
You can have pedestrian and schmancy fillings. People can put in whatever they like. Plus it's relatively easy on the hostess.

When I do this, I tend to make avocado cream instead of guac, though, since mixing the avocado and the cream cheese with spices and stuff makes a topping that doesn't turn brown.)

I've learned that if I label everything then I don't hear any.... "ehhhh what is this?" comments. I put all of the dishes out on a piece of brown butcher paper and write the name of the item. The issue is when you start explaining what the ingredients are. I have friends who'll eat venison unless you tell them it's venison. Writing "Meatballs" alevates any possible problems/confusion/unwarranted disgust.

I do these jalapeno poppers that are lower in calories but still delicious. I enjoy them because they are stuffed with mushrooms and pepper jack, instead of just cream cheese:

http://hotspicyandskinny.com/2012/12/05/healthy-bacon-wrapped-jalapeno-poppers/

When she wrote wine and cheese, I assumed she meant something other than cubed cheddar and pepper-jack., which more defines the problem.

Make something for both parties that is more approachable such as cheddar, gouda, and make your own goat cheese ball (like those cheesy cheese balls from that company). For the other crowd, maybe make a beer-cheese fondue as a cross-over dish, some wings with maybe 2 dipping sauces and other small bites that don't alienate anyone.

Basically, keep it simple, but a little more interesting. The last thing you want to do is make a lot of stuff nobody will eat.