It's rather astonishing how easily our ordered lives can slip into chaos. It just takes one simple thing, like the loss of electricity or moving house, and suddenly it's impossible to find a pot to cook in, even as you are staring at ten different spoons. This, I've decided, is a really good thing.
Why? Because life on the planet earth is naturally chaotic, or at least a lot more beyond our control than we think. We spend an enormous amount of time and energy keeping this chaos at bay and there's good reason for that. Keeping the chaos at bay is also called, quite simply, survival. And survival is also a really good thing.
But we can get a little lost in thinking that survival and order is everything, that our main reason for living is to keep ourselves from dying when in fact life is a lot more than that. So learning to live with a little chaos is an important skill. New parents often discover this when their baby in born and their lives are turned upside down.
There's a very famous Buddhist story that illustrates how I try to work with the seemingly uncontrollableness of life. It's about a man who is chased off a cliff by a pursuing tiger. As he is falling he grabs a branch from a tree growing off the side of the cliff. The branch is rather thin and it's clear it will not hold him for long. The man looks down and his heart leaps as he stares into the empty chasm below him. He looks up, and his heart freezes at the sight of the snarling tiger watching him from the cliff's edge. Something bright catches the corner of his eye. It's a perfectly ripe, crimson-colored strawberry growing on the side of the cliff. Again he looks down. And again he looks up. Then he reaches out, plucks the luscious strawberry from the cliff's edge and gobbles it up. End of story.
Because this is a Zen story, there are several ways to interpret its meaning. Indeed, it can mean different things at different times, depending on what's pushing at our hearts and minds at any given moment. To me right now, as I'm living in a fair amount of chaos, it means this:
Dealing with the tiger above and the empty chasm below is quite an all-consuming activity. The mind is completely filled with fear, anxiety, strategic thinking, hope, wishes and desire for it all to be different, leaving no room for enjoyment, pleasure, sustenance. And yet, right there, within arm's reach, is the achingly perfect beauty of a strawberry, waiting to be plucked and eaten. Will this strawberry rescue me? Probably not, but does that mean I shouldn't reach out and enjoy it?
Moral of the story for me, for today at least, is that chaos management shouldn't prevent me from noticing, appreciating and enjoying the luscious and ripe offerings that are always right there in front of me. I use the word 'always' on purpose because in my experience, it's true. Even in the most dire circumstances, there is always something to notice and appreciate, something bright and sustaining to pierce the rioting clamor of chaos. In my world, it would be a tragedy to not see this brightness, and a sin to ignore it.
My current experience of chaos isn't that dire, although some people, while looking at the photographs of my new kitchen above, would beg to differ. Still, moving and unpacking is exhausting, exciting, difficult, inspiring, and above all, chaotic. So I'm going to keep a look out for the strawberries hidden in the piles of crumpled newspaper and beneath the upturned bowls. And each time I see one, I will not hesitate to gobble it up as if my life depended on it. Because, actually, it does.
Related: Weekend Meditation: A Messy Life
(Image: Dana Velden)
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I struggled with chaos for decades. Now I am making peace with it. So many roses to smell; so little time.
Yikes that condiment-packet holder is disturbing
...thank you for this, Dana.
This is a great post, thank you. I struggled to maintain order in my home with a 10, 4, and 9 month old (all boys!) and I'm a clean freak by nature, it's HARD not to spaz out when my house looks like it does on the weekend but I'm learning that it's not the end of the world if there are socks in the stove and last weeks mail is sitting on the washing machine in the garage. ahaha
Best use of time right now: tickle fights. Lots of cleaning when they leave home, to cope, mostly. ;)
I needed this today, as I struggle with finishing school (tiger) and endlessly searching for a job (chasm). Thanks.
Dana, this is the perfect post for me today. We are in the process of putting in new carpet and painting the entire house. That means every room must be emptied and a place to put all the stuff your just emptied, rip out the carpet, the painter paints the wall, and the carpet guys come back and install new carpet. Then you move the furniture back in and put all the stuff back. Than on to the next room and repeat the above. This has been going on for 10 days. Last room is today. Today is my office--which means moving 8 bookcases of cookbooks and a masive computer desk plus a daybed and just stuff!!! I will be so glad when this is over and yes it is chaotic but the end result is more than worth it. Plus we plan a huge garage sale with stuff we found that we forgot we had or don't need anymore. just might make some money to pay for all this. Thanks again for a great post.
Ironic timing. With a recent job layoff again, I am feeling the tiger from above (not finding steady work) and the chasm below (running out of $), so my senses have been heightened, to the point of being unable to sleep last night.
However, unemployment has given me time to help others-my aging parents and friends and I learned new ways to save $, downsize my belongings to what's important, and used my extra time to learn new inexpensive recipes, clean and fix up my parents' + my places, and unknowingly, help me see that I am worthy, and have the skills to work and contribute to society, even expanding my original search to other areas.
I'll take a strawberry here and there and maybe, it will give me enough energy to find a nearby cliff or rock to hang onto for more stability.
Thank you!
This is right on time for me. In a few weeks, my new kitchen is being installed and I'm not looking forward to the chatotic home I will have to live in again for a while. I've lived through a couple major renos and hated it each time but I will learn to relax and just deal because it won't last forever. I hope to actually have my condo finished sometime soon and only need to do minor upkeep at some point!
Oh my goodness what a great article and what great comments! I'm still trying to settle in a new town where I only have a short term contract (tiger of no guaranteed work when it's over) and I'm trying to unpack a 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apt (chasm....one that's filled to the brink with small decisions)
I get moments and tiny spaces of clarity, and then I unpack another box and chaos returns.
Meanwhile, I enjoy my life here today.
Add one camera shot and one person's chaos becomes another person's interesting still life.
It behooves me to remember there is another always: there is always order within chaos, just not MY order.
As someone who moved to a whole new city a month ago, I'm still dealing with the chaos of boxes and lack of storage space. I admit to getting stressed the moment I think about it all. I needed this reminder to relax and take it in stride.
Dana, even in chaos your kitchen/dining space looks stylish and charismatic.
What great synchronicity. After I finish my morning procrastination courtesy of AT, I'm writing a chapter on chaos and order. Thanks for the sendoff!
Needed that.
Tiger above and chasm below, yep! Thanks.
Oh yes, I just moved on Sunday, and my kitchen looks exactly like your photo above. Both the one in our newly leased house, AND the one in the old apt. I thought I would get a chance to organize yesterday, but was greeted with a layer of dust on every surface. So yesterday was spent cleaning. And the more time I spent cleaning, the less time I had left in my day off, which got me incredibly fustrated and stressed. Today, I'm glad to be at work, away from the mess. I've finally realized that it's just going to take however long it takes, and that's fine. It will all get done eventually.