Like many parents, I was determined to raise my babies with a taste for healthy food. I obsessed, researching to find out if rice cereal really was the best first food, or if a homemade quinoa cereal would be better. I hovered, sure that a well meaning grandma would try to feed my babies cheese or, even worse, sugar.
Trans fats, artificial colors, GMO food, corn syrup — none of them were making it past my sweet darlings' lips into their delicate, pristine guts. I followed all the rules, raising the bar by making my own baby food from all organic ingredients. And I'm glad I did. Even with three children, the oldest 14, I know I made the right choice. We still encourage them to eat well by offering fresh, whole foods and explaining why that sort of thing matters. We want to make nutritious food a habit.
But we also have a mini fridge, stocked with things I never imagined in my home on a regular basis. Years ago, I received a small inheritance, which should have gone into savings. I bought a pool table. It's the perfect place to gather with friends and family, and gosh darn-it, I had always wanted one. A refurbished hotel fridge cabinet found on eBay completed the room.
The table brings kids to our house. Like most parents, I like my children nearby, where I can keep an eye on them, at least within shouting distance. Most teenagers don't appreciate unsweetened herbal iced tea, homemade granola bars with agave, and salt-free raw almonds. When I invite my grown-up friends into my home, we share special treats, like prosciutto, decadent cheese, crispy potato chips, a good bottle of wine. My children's friends deserve the same courtesy.
The snacks aren't altogether horrible. I usually have cheese sticks, packaged nuts, and healthier versions of things like snack mix and dried fruit. But the soda is real, not naturally sweetened. The cans are small, and I also stock juice boxes. (One in five teens prefers apple juice over soda, at least according to my anecdotal study.) The Diet Coke is mine, all mine; they know it's off limits. If they go through the sodas too fast, I have a simple solution: I don't restock the bar for a while, and no one complains.
Have your views on nutrition changed over the years? For parents, how strict are you about food?
Related: In Defense of "Kid Food"
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Is cheese really bad?
I share and applaud your healthy-eating ideas. I'm not sure this level of mea-culpa is necessary for some juice boxes and a few cans of soda.
I don't have kids, but from what you say, you've done a great job at getting them to appreciate healthful, real food. Maybe this isn't reasonable, but being somebody who is a big Non-GMO advocate, and tries to eat organic, whole foods as much as is possible and affordable, soda is my ultimate absolutely-not item, and I would never give it to kids, diet or not. I'd rather eat a McD's burger and fries than drink a soda.
I'm not a parent yet, but I appreciated this post. I guarantee you I will be that person who obsesses and hovers over what I feed my children. I already obsess over my pet's food, I can only imagine what it will be like with my own child! But I also agree that there will come a point where compromises will need to be made, and I will just hope that when that comes my children will have it ingrained in them to eat well, and make good choices and moderate junk food instinctively.
@annamasse Actually, I think the cheese sticks are good -- sorry that wasn't clear. And Whole Foods sells them for a reasonable price. I guess what I meant to say is that, even amidst the junk food, I try to keep some healthy choices. :-)
I can't see any harm in teenagers having a glass of soda once in a while. Or a McD burger. I think there should be exceptions to rules, because it's terrible to have parents who make no exceptions and you're the only child who is not allowed a can of coke, ever. I don't want my children to be afraid of food, but to be able to tell the difference between real food and junk.
I think annamasse was referring to your comment:
"I hovered, sure that a well meaning grandma would try to feed my babies cheese or, even worse, sugar."
@jess13 Ah! Thank you! I got confused because of what I said later about keeping cheese in the fridge. Yeah, I had been told by our pediatrician (and read) that we should hold off on feeding dairy to babies for a time. It's been so long, I can't even remember how long it was!
Calories are calories, and we all need a certain amount to get through the day. Some calories have more nutrition than others, but it seems to me fun has it's own nutritional value. I think it is important for kids to grow up knowing what is nutritious but also to grow up not feeling guilty for craving and enjoying fun.
@Deb-rah I am having this quote put on a bumper sticker. "Fun has its own nutritional value." Love it!
I agree with you. If you put your children on lockdown they won't know how to function outside of your hovering, and will likely seek out that which you've condemned just to see what all the fuss is about (sort of like sex).
My mom was a very health-conscious woman who cooked from scratch often (even while working as a single mom) and our pantry reflected that mindset. However, she did make sure to bring home 'treats' from the grocery store about once a month. Things like soda, ice cream, frosted flakes, jello cups were special things for us, and we understood through her method that they were treats and not things to be eaten all the time.
In this way I've grown up to be an adult who still eats this way, cooks from scratch, and occasionally eats fast food or buys the rare package of Oreos. I do try to cut out as much GMO as possible, but I'll still eat out in a restaurant that doesn't bill itself as organic. The balance is important. I do plan on making my own baby food when I have kids, (or at least buy organic in a pinch). As much to save money as to know exactly what they're eating when so young. I already have a large garden, so this should be fairly simple.
Why WOULD you feed dairy to babies? It's for baby cows, not baby humans. It's loaded with all sorts of disgusting things like pus and casein and it contributes to mucus build-up. If I was concerned about a healthy and organic diet, I certainly wouldn't have dairy in the house.
@Lisa
Totally helpful! Here I am reading a somewhat useful post about moderation and you come along and remind us that MILK IS KILLING US. Awesome.
I'm not a parent yet, and while I plan on feeding my children healthy food when possible, I will not be one of those parents who never let their kids touch anything that isn't organic/gluten-free/nonGMO/ blah blah blah. I agree with the above commenter that being too stringent and forbidding your child from ever drinking a coke will likely make them want to run to the first vending machine they see once they're out from under your thumb.
Also, I ate "junk" when I was a kid, and I turned out to be a very healthy adult, with good, balanced eating habits. I think it's okay to relax a little!!
@inkstainedwriter
Right on, hahaha.
@Lisa: You kind of made my point about being afraid of food. I have dairy in the house, my children drink it, and they are perfectly healthy.
Er, so does breast milk. And pus? Do elaborate....
not sure if your kids really want that particular soda? if so, then so. But my kids prefer the special treat of our local soda (Simpson Springs) or even an Izze; your kids and their friends might like it better? Still full of sugar, but no BVO or HFCS. just an idea.
I have three, and I just make food a non issue. Freaking out over McD's or soda just make their views on food worse. You want a snack? Grab a banana.. Daddy's out of town? Pizza delievery and and a two liter 'cause mama's not cooking!
@Lisa: you don't give an infant dairy, so your point is moot. Nice try, though.
My daughter is welcome to eat an unrestricted amount of fruits and veggies. If she's hungry, she's hungry and she shouldn't have to ask. I keep granola bars with whole grains on hand and microwaveable "natural" popcorn. She drinks water, milk and an occasional glass of juice. I do not keep soda in the house. When I do get it, it's a treat. Once a month, tops and it is the sugar-laden kind since I am convinced aspartame aggravated my grave's disease.
You've got to balance your sanity with your conscience. Right now, working part-time, I make everything we eat — no processed food. BUT when I go back to work full-time in a couple months, I'll have to compromise. I just need to decide what we're willing to give up. That's reality in a time-starved society.
Stop drinking diet soda!
Forgetting the soda/milk/fast food debate for a moment: How fun for your kids to have mini-fridge stocked with snacks for themselves and their friends. Seems being "packaged" in such a way would make most any individual serving items you put in it seem like a special treat, yet you can moderate the intake by restocking when you deem appropriate - will have to steal this idea when mine is a little older!
I always had a 'junk' cupboard in our house filled with cakes, biscuits, chocolate and chips that the children could help themselves to. My only rule was that they had to eat their dinner, too. They learned to self-regulate, and the junk lost its appeal as it was not given the status of treat, reward or forbidden fruit.
Word.
It is like a mini-bar that you don't have to pay $5/soda for! Fab - I want one in my bedroom:)
I freaked out on my mom for feeding my little one cheese once, but it was because she was quite constipated when she started solid foods (she was, and is, a white-carb lover) and cheese made it so hard for her to poop! Ah, the memories.
I have to say that I'm pretty strict! My husband and I joke about how our kids won't know what McDonalds is (unless the grandparents bring them! lol!) My husband was raised in Italy, where (in those days) children ate what adults ate and the only "junk" food they ate were croissants and maybe gelato! I KNOW when my kids are older I will have to become a little more lenient, however, I'm starting them off eating healthy, unprocessed foods now which I hope will help them appreciate healthier foods as they get older!
I think it's smart to start teaching kids how to moderate themselves when it comes to "bad but fun" treats, and how to keep it as a treat.
(But please don't mistake apple juice as "healthier" than pop. It's the same thing, loaded with just as much sugar. And please don't give me the "natural sugar" line, because that's just not true)
If you lived in Europe you would have to consider everything ready prepared foodstuff that you are buying. The scandal of horse meat in everything from frozen lasagne to Ikea meat balls is changing the way we shop.
@Hrhprincessfiona - nothing wrong with horse meat if it is sold upfront as such. Whilst consumers have every right to know exactly what is in their food, they should equally have the common sense to realise that processed food, in particular minced meat products, are the perfect way to disguise all manner of unpalatable 'ingredients'. Jamie Oliver did an 'exposé' years ago of what goes into chicken nuggets (basically, a'slurry of skin, fat, and gristle), yet people continue to feed them to their kids. What's more, this latest food scandal is no surprise, given the supermarkets' power to squeeze suppliers. Like BSE, it was a disaster waiting to happen. If this is what it takes for consumers to question their food choices, then at least something positive will have come of it.
Hi Pearmelon you are preaching to the converted. Horse meat is readily available where I live and popular. It is low cholesterol etc. but what is worrying many horses used in lasagne etc appear to have been race horses most of them have been dosed by vets using drugs dangerous to humans.
The tons of frozen meals removed from the shelves in France and Italy are being held awaiting decisions on whether or not they be passed on to food banks!
Time for lunch.
I want to live in a world where croissants and gelato are the only junk food. That would be pure heaven.