Kitchen Etiquette: Tips for Shared Kitchen Spaces

If you don’t currently share a kitchen, we’re guessing that at some point in time you did or you will. When it comes to sharing forks and fridge space with other people, we know that relationships can tense pretty darn fast! Here are a few tips to keep the peace:

Some of these tips might sound neurotic or extreme, but when we’re moving in with a new roommate, we have found that it works best to clearly establish everyone’s boundaries and rules up front. Once you get to know and feel comfortable with each other, these things naturally relax into a rhythm.

1. Talk to Each Other - It seems obvious, but the biggest way to avoid conflict is to hash it out before it becomes a conflict. If you like to leave the dishes to morning, but this gives your roommate the heebie-jeebies, these are things you should talk about.

2. Identify Common Space verses Personal Space - This goes for cupboard and fridge space, as well as shared dishes, personal equipment, and communal ingredients.

3. Set a Cleaning Schedule - We’re all adults now and this may seem a little like 3rd grade, but it can be really good to have it clearly stated who does what and when. You could simply divide up the chores (I always do dishes, you always take out the trash) or you can just set a rotation schedule. It’s also good to identify what things need to be done daily and what can be done less frequently. Again, the key is just to talk to each other.

4. Talk About Big Cooking Projects - If you’re going to be cooking something that will tie up the oven for several hours or potentially stink up the house for an evening, give your roommate a little heads up. No one likes to be surprised by these things!

5. Talk About Big Purchases - Don’t buy a microwave and expect your roomie to chip in half unless you’ve already talked about it. If the purchase is going to take up a lot of space (like a Kitchen-Aid or a 4-slot toaster), it’s also good to talk about where it will go in the kitchen before you bring it home.

6. Keep Talking to Each Other - Once you’ve got the perfect system going, don’t forget to check in with each other. Sometimes circumstances change or an annoying habit surfaces that wasn’t immediately apparent. It’s important to talk about things as they come up rather than let them stew (pardon the cooking pun).

Setting boundaries and talking about personal habits in the kitchen can be surprisingly difficult and emotional. Be patient and be flexible with both yourself and with your roommates. Know which points are really important to you and on which things you’re willing to compromise.

What other tips do you have for peacefully sharing kitchen space?

(Image: Flickr member adotjdotsmith licensed under Creative Commons)

Comments (13)

I would purposefully turn up the toaster so someone would leave me the Sad Toaste Face.

I hated it when my roomate would unplug the toaster oven, because it still ticks like it's toasting when unplugged, then flash forward to cold food still there later :-(.

Instead of nickel and diming each other to death on shared items like ketchup and Saran Wrap, we made a list where we would make a note of our respective purchases on items to me shared. We would do a total once every 6 months or so and settle the difference then.

An unresolved and reocurring dispute in my kitchen. I laughed at the toast face.

These are all great tips and they work. I rented a room in a big house in Portugal and was told all of these house rules up front. Along with the most important: clean up your own mess immediately so that no one has to cook around it.

Amazingly, all 6 roommates rigorously abided by all of them and we had a very pleasant roommate kitchen experience.

Since we were all from different countries, it was really a vision of international peace in the kitchen.

Argh--my husband always turns up the toaster (he likes his toast dark), and I usually forget to check. I'll remember this burnt toast face next time (he hates wasting food, even a piece of burned bread).

Don't leave notes! They're passive aggressive and annoying. Talk instead.

I've had flatmates (possible power nazis) turn off the fridge while we were away. Awesome.

Guys, when saving power and turning off everything in sight, please think of all the food you're going to have to throw out because of warm fridge.

What freak would post a note like "Stop turning the toaster up." How about stop turning it down? Every time you use the toaster set it to the setting you like. Some enjoy their toast lightly toasted, golden and others burnt but I'm suppose to leave it on your ideal setting. What nerve!!!

A cleaning schedule is a good idea! Along with making a schedule for everyday cleaning stuff, you could set one day a week that you and your roomie clean the entire apartment. Sunday was always me and my roommates day to clean.

Our kitchen was an epic fail back when I lived with two of my male friends. (fyi, this is likely to traumatize some readers) None of us were really big on cleaning, so we would often let our dishes pile up on the counter before even putting them in the dishwasher. One of the guys would never do dishes, so we would wait to see how long it would take before he would actually break down and do them. We never got any bugs, but there was one mold incident that I'd rather not relive. Our trash was on the Simpsons-esque staple-the-banana-peel-to-the-side-of-the-trash-can-so-you-don't-have-to-take-it-out kind of schedule. Luckily, now that I have my own apartment, my dishes get done regularly and trash is taken out before it gets too full. From my experiences, the best advice I can give is to talk to your roommates often, so that small annoyances like dirty dishes don't fester and turn into bigger issues.

A recent roommate never seemed to understand about chipping in on chores and someone recommended the site www.chorebuster.net to me. It works so well and everyone does their share without thinking about it. You just put in what chores you want done, how often and how difficult and it spits out a schedule every week. I love it because the lazy roommate started helping and I don't feel like I need to set aside 5 hours to make a dent in cleaning - we do it little by little!

I say whoever owns that piece of appliance the others should follow the "rules" the owner sets :P But I guess this wouldn't work for large commonly owned appliances, or would create curious situation like having 4 toasters on the counter lol...