Is Talking about Food at the Table Polite?

In France, only a bumpkin would say, ''Bon appetit'' at the start of a meal, says The New York Times (subscription required).

The BBC correspondent writing from Paris cheekily reminded readers of the same thing:
"Wishing someone bon appetit is seen as very vulgar in polite circles . . . I realized to my horror that I must have wished almost every French person I have ever met at a meal "bon appetit".

eGullet readers aren't so sure this is always the case in France or here. What do you think?

As a host, I do appreciate a quick nod about the food I've prepared, but I can see where the taboo could have sprung from. Talking about the food (or anything else that was once alive and now is not) can quickly become not-while-I'm-eating nauseating.

"Where did you buy this paprika, it's so smoky?" and "Did you de-bone the chicken or did the butcher do it?" start to take away from the community aspect of the meal and start putting too much attention on the host. And that's surely not polite, in France or here in the USA.

Comments (1)

I can't imagine coming to the table and not being allowed to talk about the food. But it has gotten sticky on a certain point: my husband often compliments something and the hostess snaps, "We don't give out recipes." Me being the bigger food snob (and able to detect cake mix boxes in the open trash bin nearby) I'm often tempted to reply, "We didn't ask," or else reverse-engineer the recipe out loud in front of everyone.

Although I've never done that (more out of being taken aback than being polite), one such hostess later sent me a chain email (through a friend) asking for simple recipes. Here's this person who made it so clear she wouldn't share, and now wants *us* to share? I sent her back the recipe for her own banana pudding. I will happily share it with you. You make your Jell-o banana pudding according to the package directions, fold in Cool Whip until a moussy consistancy is reached, and add sliced bananas and Nilla wafers. Personally I would keep the cookies and bananas separate until serving to keep the wafers crispy, but you're free to fold it all together like the person I pirated it from. As you can see, it's quite simple; the only real secret is that this person can't cook. Not that I would ever say that at the dinner table.