Four dollars for a slice of toast? Pffft! C'mon, guys, we can do better than that. I mean, way better. If I'm making fancy toast, I'm taking it all the way. I see your $4 toast, and I raise you an extra knob of Kerrygold butter with a sprinkle of gold flakes. Make mine $10 toast, please and thank you. You want in? Let's do this.
Maybe you think you know how to make toast. And yes, I'll grant you that anyone with a slice of bread and a toaster can make something acceptably snackable. But if you want to really make toast — the kind of toast that makes ladies swoon and bearded men cry; the kind of toast for which, straight-faced, you'd pay $10 — then you're going to want to follow along closely.
Making $10 toast is about more than just buying good bread and slapping on some of last summer's jam. It's about the whole package. It's about finding the best jam and the finest local honey to drizzle on top. It's also about paying attention while you slice the bread and spread the toppings. When you make your toast, use a plate that you love and a butter knife that feels good in your hand.
Have some freshly brewed coffee nearby when you make your toast so you have something to sip while you snack. I guarantee you're going to want to linger over every last crumb.
How To Make $10 Toast
Makes 6 to 8 slices
What You Need
1 loaf artisan sandwich bread
Kerrygold or Plugra butter (homemade is also fine)
Freshly-ground nut butter
Locally-sourced artisan jam, any flavor
Artisan dark chocolate bar, finely chopped
Artisan sea salt
Edible gold flakes
Car or other means of transportation
- Drive to your nearest hipster bakery for bread: I realize that time and travel will be a factor here, depending on your proximity to artisan bread, but the bread is really the most crucial part of this whole operation. You can't make $10 toast with 99-cent grocery store bread. You just can't. Be prepared to pay anywhere from $4 to $10 for a really good loaf. Alternatively, over the next few days, you can nourish your own sourdough starter and bake your own artisan loaf.
- Cut the bread into thick slices: Extra-thick slices mean extra-awesome. Don't skimp. Inch-thick slices are a good starting point; go thicker if you prefer, but definitely don't go skinny.
- Toast the bread: Do your best here with what you have. To form the best crust, ideally you want to crank your toaster up to 750°F (you can check with an infrared thermometer gun); in reality, just put your toaster on the highest setting and know you might need to run the toast through twice to achieve golden-toasted perfection.
- Butter the toast: A crucial first step. You might think that with all the other toppings here, butter is gilding the lily. It is.
- Spread the nut butter: Nut butter is next. It forms a solid base for the other toppings and the toast is prettiest with the nut butter on the bottom where it can showcase everything else.
- Top with jam: Spread the jam over the nut butter. Don't be shy! Go right up to the edge! The nut butter will help hold it in place. I like to keep the nut butter layer and the jam layer separate, but you can artistically swirl them together if you like.
- Drizzle with honey: Drizzle a light layer of honey right over the jam. Use some restraint here as wild honey can easily overpower the other flavors in the dish. You want a light floral sweetness to compliment the fruit in the jam.
- Sprinkle with chocolate: As with the honey, the chocolate is more of an accent flavor here — it also adds a nice contrasting texture to the gooey jam and nut butter. Sprinkle just enough so you get a little chocolate in every bite.
- Dust with sea salt: Flakey sea salt adds both crunch and bright pops of flavor to the toast. Don't worry — it's not enough salt to actually make the toast taste salty! Sea salt enhances the flavors of the other ingredients, bringing them all together.
- Add the gold flakes: No, gold doesn't taste like much of anything, but it brings the bling like nothing else.
- Eat immediately: Fancy toast waits for no one. This toast is best if eaten right away, while the toast is still hot enough to make the toppings melty and delicious. If you're making multiple slices, try to serve them as close to toasting as possible.
• Other Toppings to Try! Hazelnut-chocolate spread (a.k.a. nutella), coconut sugar, coconut butter, lemon or other citrus curd, apple butter, sliced fresh fruit
Wait, you didn't really think we were serious, did you? From our kitchen to your kitchen... APRIL FOOLS! Did we get you? (And all joking aside, this $10 toast is amazing. No foolin'.)
Want more smart tutorials for getting things done around the home?
See more How To posts
We're looking for great examples of your own household intelligence too!
Submit your own tutorials or ideas here!
(Image credits: Emma Christensen)