Since my son was about 18 months, we just shifted dinner to 6-ish every night. There were and are nights that my husband isn't able to be home by then but that's okay, we just save him a plate to reheat. I would much rather have the consistency and structure of a regular dinner time at the table even if that means everyone isn't there. I like us to be in bed, starting to read books by 6:45, if possible, which is why we chose 6/6:15 as our dinner time. This also works for us because I leave for work at 6:30 and am home by 4:30, at the latest, and have time to make a good dinner. Other than that, I would say, plan, plan, plan. Roasting on the weekends and making rice ahead of time as well as making a menu for the week drastically cuts down on the time I spend making dinner.

My family always ate dinner around 5. Sometimes one parent or the other was working, but whoever was home ate then. When my mom's work schedule changed so she started work at 5, we even started eating at 4, then we'd get a snack later if we were hungry.

I'll ditto what Karewn said. It is totally possible but I think it depends on what you decide to do as parents. We now eat dinner with the toddler around 5:30 rather than 7-7:30 before baby because I want meal times to be us as a family, although there are definitely nights when my husband isn't home or gets home as my son and I are finishing dinner. We usually sit with him at the table or let the toddler play while I sit and visit. I think my son will learn good eating habits by seeing his parents model this. Meals are quicker and simpler to prepare and I try to do prep work the weekend or evening before, use the Crock-pot, etc. But for the most part, he eats what we eat and we eat together.

People really do this? Make an entirely separate meal for themselves just cuz their child eats early and you want to eat late? No wonder so many children are so picky. I know plenty of families that have a regular family mealtime at around 6 or 6:30. The kids usually have a small snack (piece of fruit) around 4, and the parents might have a snack later if they get hungry, but the family mealtime is so important!

Maybe I'm a granny, but when I am working day shifts 0700 to 1515 (I'm a med lab tech so I work days evenings and nights), I have dinner at 5pm generally and I'm in bed no later than 9pm, usually earlier especially in the winter. I hate eating late and having a full stomach and then going to bed. It actually amazes me how late some people can eat.

I have to say that what's described in the post is pretty much exactly what we do. It's mostly an issue of timing. If you don't get home from work 'til between 5:30 and 6 and bedtime is 7 (with dinner AND a bath in between), it's pretty hard to cook a full meal, however simple, and serve it to kiddos. I'll look forward to sharing regular meals once the bedtime is closer to 8pm.

Another strategy is to eat breakfast with the toddler regularly, as well as lunch on the weekend.

For those who charge that it leads to picky eaters: we always save some of dinner and give it the kiddo for lunch or dinner the following day.

I too shifted my dinner schedule a lot earlier so I could eat with my son. I'm a single parent, so eating separately made even less sense to me! We get home around 5, and eat between 6 and 6:30 (it shifts later in the summer with more daylight). He has a snack at 4:30 after school, so even 6:30 isn't too late, and I usually have a little snack after he goes to sleep around 8. As others have said, planning the menus (at least in my head!) is key, and trying to prep ahead where possible. Plus we eat a lot of pasta these days. :)

I pick my son up from day care and we get home around 6pm, and as I'm making dinner I give him either part of his (usually vegetables, either raw or quickly prepared) or a piece of fruit while he waits, then we try to eat together once my husband gets home around 6:45. It only works now because our son goes to bed later, so we don't have to start the bedtime routine at 6:30 like we used to. When he was still a baby/young toddler, we too would feed the baby, put him to bed, then eat ourselves during the week. But, we would make eating breakfast and lunch all together on the weekends a priority, and often dinner as well. Eating around the table together is the point; it doesn't have to be dinner!

Yep - We just eat earlier since having a kid. He's four now, so timing can be a bit more flexible, but we almost always eat between 5:30 and 6. And he's typically in bed by 7:30. Also, I've always insisted he eats the same things we eat, He's a fairly adventurous eater as a result. And I figured that having to prepare a completely separate meal for the kid would be the path to madness.

With the rare of exception of either my husband or I having to work late or if we have a date night, we eat to gether as a family-no exceptions. It has never occurred to me to feed my now 4yr old daughter earlier and then eat our more "civilized" meal once she is down for the night. Pre-child, our dinner was around 7pm so now we have just shifted it up to 6 or 6:30pm. A snack tides my daughter over until mealtime and now that she is at the age where she likes to help me in the kitchen, she always wants to try the various components of our meals as I am preparing them. And her meal is the same as what we are having-with minor modifications for example if something is deemed to spicy for her taste or I'll add the chopped parsley, dill, and other leafy herbs after I've given her a serving. Planning ahead is key.

Our son is two and we eat dinner together every night between 6 and 7. If dinner is going to run late, we'll give him a snack to hold him over. We've established this routine since he was able to sit with us at the table. For me, the best advice I can give are: 1) establish a time that works and be consistent 2) plan the rest of the day accordingly...don't expect to give him a huge snack at 5:30 and expect him to eat a big dinner at 6 and 3) plan ahead and don't try to do huge elaborate meals in 30 minutes. When I get home, I spend some time with my family, then get up and generally do 30-60 minute meals, usually 15 minutes of prep and 15 of active time, the rest is inactive oven time that gives me more time with my family. It can be done!

We did the two-meal thing when my son was little, since my husband often didn't get home until 8 and I wanted to have some grown-up time with him over dinner. MISTAKE. My omnivorous baby became a non-nivorous two-year-old, and now at age 5 he's one of the pickiest kids I know. (And I'm a food writer, too--I just wrote about this for the Huffington Post, if you're curious: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-koenig/goldman-sachs-letter-from-mom_b_1353709.html)

hmmm i'm not a parent, so i can't fully comment on schedule, but my family always ate together around 6ish. my husband and i decided before getting married that as much as possible we'd eat together, at the table, without the TV, hoping to establish good patterns prior to children arriving.

i recently heard an interesting radio broadcast on the importance of a family meal time - it is shown to reduce child anxiety, increase school performance, make teenagers less likely to drink/use drugs and increase a child's vocabularly, the authors of this book were interviewed.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Hour-that-Matters-Most/dp/1414337442/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332258639&sr=8-1

We are struggling with this, as my husband gets home after 7, but I go to work very early so I have to go to sleep early. We shifted the kids bedtime to 9, which works okay for everything but "couple time" wink wink.

we eat dinner at 6/6:15pm all together as often as possible. my husband gets hungry again at about9pm so I usually leave out leftovers for him to snack on.

We, too, have shifted our meal time earlier so that we can eat "civilized." My 11 month old and I have a snack together around 4 or 4:30 (fruit and cheerios) and then we eat at 6 as a family. However, I *don't* think this makes a difference in fussy eating or not. She's a pretty fussy eater regardless. It's more about treating her like a full-fledged person.

I can barely get my act together enough to cook 1 dinner, to say nothing of 2 separate dinners. We've done something similar to most of the previous commenters - I pick my 2-year-old up from school at around 5 (where she's already had a small snack), she has another small snack at home, and then we all eat together once her daddy gets home at around 6:45. Does it mean that we eat later, and consequently get to bed later, than would be ideal? Yep - and maybe someday our work schedules will be more forgiving. For now, though, it's the solution that works best for us.

@Dione, you're no granny or at least your not alone! My husband and I eat around the same time (5, 6 at the latest), and we don't even have kids... I can't imagine eating at 8/8:30 I would be starving!

This is quite a controversial post! I completely agree with the writer, who understands that most working families CAN'T eat dinner at 6 with their kids. We get home around 8pm most nights and eat dinner around 8:30, so either I can eat alone with the kiddo or hubby and I can eat alone without the kiddo. I think a mixture of both worlds is best. I try to plan a meal, make it early, give some to the kiddo and save some for hubby and I. So we all eat the same thing, no picky eaters here, but at different times. And on weekends, the kid stays up later and we all eat together. Aren't there other people with kids that get home late from work? Just wondering.

Dinner should be a time when family eats together so that the children can observe the "rules" of mealtime - sitting down together, talking about the day and the food, and not simply stuffing food in their mouths so that the kids are rushed off to bed. As long as you have small children, there is no "civil adult meal", unless, of course, you eat out and leave the kids with a babysitter. Speaking as a mom of three small children (ages 2 1/2 years, 4 years, and 5 1/2 years), I've learned that catering to a child's wants at mealtime leads to the expectation that they need not try new foods. Why should they when you simply give them what you know they'll eat? I believe in giving choices, but not to the point of preparing a separate meal for them. I've done that up until recently, and have since chosen the following method: “Eat what’s prepared (or at least try it) or eat a piece of bread and/or fruit”...then at least twice a week, prepare something for dinner (for everyone) that you know your children will eat. As a parent, you don't want to see your child go hungry, but in reality it's the child's choice. As a saying in my husband's German household goes, "No one ever starved in front of a full table".

Meals together has been our priority since our children were old enough to sit at or near the table. Through the years the time has shifted around due to work schedules, hungry toddlers, baseball, and more, but we always make it happen. When one child was falling apart if dinner didn't happen at 5, we found a way to eat dinner at 5. Those were the days of early bedtimes anyway. When an older child's baseball game means we aren't able to sit down together as a family until 8:30, we sit down at 8:30. After thirteen years of this it is second nature and we just work around any obstacles ~ sitting down together as a family is that important to us.

Kimberly, you've brought up the second key point - flexibility (the first being the importance of sitting down together). The clock does not dictate mealtime, people do.

I don't have kids, but when I was growing up, both my parents worked. Us kids never had a separate meal; we ate at around 6:30. Maybe I'm crazy, but working til 8:30 seems a bit nuts if you have kids. I have a dog and I feel the obligation to spend time with him/leave the office.

dione and waterlily81, I'm with you. We ate dinner at 7:00 last night, and it was way too late for me. 4:30 to 5:30 is the norm depending on when my wife gets home from work (no kids). I can't imagine not having dinner until 8:00!

On a typical weeknight our nanny feeds the children (3 and 8) at about 6, preparing separate vegetables for them--one will only eat broccoli, one will only eat carrots or spinach. My husband gets home at 7 and makes his own (fairly elaborate) dinner after putting the children to bed at 8. I have a soup from my firm's cafeteria and get home from my job as a lawyer around 10:30. The children are picky eaters. Feel free to throw eggs.

I don't cook separate dinners, but rarely can we all be at the table at once. I work full-time, so does my husband. These days I get my daughter home from school about 6:15-6:30, and the race is on. She has homework, and I slam dinner together while she sits at the table and I help her with that. Then we eat together, and if he shows up, great. If not, he'll serve himself when he gets home. It is simply not possible for us to earn a living and maintain a perfect dinner time. Saturday and Sunday brunch/lunch and dinner are the must-not-miss family meals. I grew up with a family meal every night, and thought that's how we'd do it too. It simply has not been possible.

No kids of my own, but I know growing up we never ate later than 6 - most nights it was around 5. We always ate together, unless a parent was out of town, or had a work emergency. Even now that I'm an actual adult, we still all eat together (granted, in front of the tv!), and it's always between 5-6.

My husband doesn't get home until around eight so I usually feed our 4 and 1 year old around six. We rarely eat dinner together, however I do sit down with them while they eat. I've never been happy with this situation, I grew up having a family dinner every night of the week. As a result of never eating with us my 4 year old is a terrible eater and doesn't enjoy dinnertime at all. I know I need to make a change and have tried to plan better but making dinner with two little people running around is not easy!

My children are now teenagers, but we have always eaten dinner together. For those of you that have little ones, I sympathize with you - it is a trick to cook and entertain small children. I would put on a cooking show called "mommy's kitchen" and explain each step and let the kids sample ingredients and help a bit. It was quite silly, but they enjoyed it and looked forward to it. We were also pretty flexible about dinner time, just to preserve the act of sitting down and sharing a meal together. Even when our schedule was crazy, we would still sit down for a meal, and anyone missing would help themselves when they got home. It's the time we sit and connect with each other - and I love that time. We currently eat a bit late (my kids are also older) to include my husband. We still eat together most days - which is pretty cool when your teens look forward to meal time together.

Hmm. We have a 2 and 5 year old and we eat dinner together at 6:30. The kids go to bed at 7:30 and 8, respectively. To accomplish this, we get home around 6. This means that I leave the house at 7, drop the kids at daycare at 7:30ish, and get to work at 8:30 so I can leave at 5. I realize that not everyone has flexibility in their work schedule, but my husband and I are lucky that our jobs allow us to go to work early and get home early (and we both have the kind of jobs that usually entail late hours, but we've found more family-friendly versions of them). We cook several meals on weekends so dinner prep might be reheating something cooked on the weekend and boiling some rice, throwing together a salad, or roasting vegetables. The kids also have snack (yogurt or pita and hummus at about 4 in school). For our kids, flexibility does not work. They really start to melt down if they eat much later that 6:30. Every family is different and I think it's useful to see a variety of options such as the ones posted in these comments.

I have two daughters, ages 4 and 20 months. I usually get home from work around 6 pm. I start cooking right after I get my coat off and say hello. It is total chaos for 30 minutes. The girls usually stay in the kitchen with me and empty the drawers of all the utensils, or disappear into the playroom. My older daughter likes to "help" with dinner, which means stabbing at food with the butter knife, but it makes her happy. I've got a pretty good rotation of thirty minute meals. The three of us sit down and eat when everything is ready. My husband usually gets home around 7:15 or so and often eats while I'm putting the younger one down. I think we will be able to stretch it out and all eat together soon, but for now, it seems to work, although I miss adult conversation over dinner!

I TOTALLY get CMCINNYC's sentiment that it's simply not possible to earn a living and maintain a perfect dinner time, especially during the traditional Monday-Friday work week.
By the time husband, myself and my 5-year-old son get home--between 6 and 8 pm, depending--we're all exhausted, my son included. It's simply unrealistic and impractical for me to come home and head straight into the kitchen to prepare dinner, and much more so for my non-cooking husband. Owing to work, errands, karate, soccer, and the other distractions and obligations of life, in our household we just aren't into daily family dinnertime, and we're all okay with that and still get to spend plenty of quality time together before the bedtime routine begins.
Weekends, however, we always eat meals together--breakfast, lunch and dinner, and we usually have a great time preparing the meal and eating together. So much more enjoyable to have family meals when they aren't prepared in a rush and out of some sort of moral obligation.

As soon as our kids could eat most foods (from about 2-3), we ate together as a family, usually between 7-8pm. They went to bed later than most kids we knew, but it suited us, and got them eating the same foods as us early on.

Every night when I get off of work (at 5pm) and start my one hour commute home I feel like I am racing against a ticking clock. I often wonder what other people with kids and two working parents do - now I know :)

I have a 3 yo and a 7 month old. After the daycare pick-up we don't get home until 6:15-6:30. First one home starts dinner and the baby goes into the high chair with some finger food. 3yo gets some raw veggies if he's hungry while I get dinner started. Then we alternate between cooking and feeding baby. Baby goes to bed at 7 and we eat between 6:30 and 7:15 depending on what time we get home/how long dinner takes. 3 yo goes to bed at 8:15-8:30.

We decided two things early on 1. that we would always sit down and eat as a family and 2. We will all eat the same thing for dinner. So we make those a priority. We got into a habit of meal planning/shopping/prepping veggies and proteins on Sunday so that the week night meals go smother... but it still feels stressful every night.

Alicelost and Waterlily81 - Glad I'm not the only one who eats really early! I guess it all depends on your day though. When I am on days and have breakfast at 530 and 830 - 0900 (I split it up because I would starve if I had to wait 6 hours for lunch), lunch between 1130-1230, dinner at 5-530pm feels pretty natural. The only time I can eat really late is when I am on night shifts which start at 11pm so I sleep all day and have my dinner type meal between 7 and 8.

It's amazing how adaptable kids are - ours have always fitted in with our routine. When we're on holiday, we like to make the most of our day, and rarely eat before 9.30-10pm. I've noticed this is not unusual in Mediterranean countries such as Spain, Southern Italy and Greece, where young children are often milling around in restaurants late at night. I think what's important is having some family time together, so if you get to eat a tasty meal too, that's even better.

It has changed over the years as our four kids have been born and grown older, but the thing that worked best for us was having a set dinner hour that was flexible, depending on activities, so I usually ate with the kids between 6 and 6:30, and when their dad came home around 7:30, the kids ate "dessert" with him while he ate dinner, and we all sat around the table sharing our day with Dad and hearing about his. Sometimes kids were in pjs and ready for bed, and after dinner it was storytime with Dad, which gave my husband individual time with the kids while I had some time for me.. My kids are grown now (some with kids of their own) and we still talk about how special was this time. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it.

When the kids eat at 5?? I EAT AT 5!! :)

Maybe you should eat earlier? Growing up supper was usually between 5-6pm.

What's not being said is that children do grow out of the early dinner phase. As toddlers, mine ate before 6, now that they are in elementary school, dinner is later-6:30-7, even later on the weekends. We all eat together. It was hard in the early years, and as a childless couple we'd eat late as 8 but children change your family, and it's really for the best. Now we are dealing with adding soccer practice (6-7:30 2 nights a week) and it seems to work best if they eat first, so it's sandwiches, a one -dish meal or if my son chooses, breakfast for dinner. Flexibility is the key-and know that when you get used to the routine, it'll probably change.

One tradition that came out of this: as soon as the kids are in bed, my husband will go back in the kitchen and get us a treat-ice cream for him, a big glass of milk and a piece of dark chocolate for me. We have our own time together and that's as important as family time at the table.

We try to eat dinner as a family most nights, with maybe one or two evenings a week when my husband and I eat later (usually ordering in something that our four-year-old wouldn't eat, anyway.) As a middle-school teacher, I know that very soon, my son will be scarfing down a sandwich between trombone lessons (please not that), track club, and studying for his fractions quiz, so I try to appreciate these family meals while I can!

I'm glad to see some parents on here are in the "our kids just wait until we can all eat" category. I used to wonder if a 7:30 - 8:00 dinner time for my 18mo old was too late, but every family is different and little kids can be so flexible. I think you have to do what works for your family. If you kid needs to eat early because going to bed at 6:00 is a must, then you do what you have to do. For our family we all sit down every night together for dinner which might mean that bed-time is pushed out to 9:00. My son gets snacks before dinner to keep the meltdowns at bay and we allow him to sleep until he wakes up on his own in the morning.

We eat anywhere from 6:30 to 8:30 pm, always have, and my two kids have always eaten with us. Even when they were toddlers and at daycare. Now as teenagers, these kids are adventurous eaters, they each cook once a week, and its their schedule that causes us to share our late dinners. I think that, had we not had meals together always, it would be harder to get them to join us for dinners now.

We also have a mad dash after work/daycare pick-up to make dinner happen. We get in the door as a family shortly before 6:00, and I have to IMMEDIATELY start preparing dinner. This is often a fraught time, as the kids are tired and hungry and want undivided attention. I've been doing very quick, easy things (pasta, soups, omelettes) that are ready in 30 minutes. So, we're eating closer to 6:30 these days and my 1.5 year old is going upstairs to bath and bed immediately after dinner (the 3.5 year old goes to bed later). It's a real crunch and I wish we could get home even half an hour earlier, but that's not possible so I'm hoping we'll just all adjust.

Reading these comments I realize how lucky my husband and I are with our schedules. He works in a university lab and I am a teacher. We both work about a 30minute commute from our home, but in opposite directions. We still need to pick our son up from child care everyday, which adds onto the commute time. Typically we are all home by 5:30. Who ever gets home first is in charge of dinner.

We plan our meals a week ahead of time, taking into consideration any obligations that might keep us late at work. We've tweaked our weekday menu to have quick, but nutrious meals that appeal to us as adults and our 3 year old. No seperate dinners. We typically sit down to eat between 6 and 6:30. Jammies around 7ish, stories in bed starting around 7:45.

We eat dinner together most nights. I do my best to get home before my husband and daughter (3 y/o) to get started on dinner. If the weather is OK, they head to the playground for a bit until it's done. It's her job to set the table, we eat together, and then move on to other activities - swimming lessons, exercising, etc.

I'm just jealous reading all the comments from families whose toddlers go to bed at 7pm ish! I'll admit to being a bedtime wimp with my 22 month old , and I was the same way with my now 10 year old. And boy did they both take advantage of that! My youngest doesn't usually retire for the night until 9 pm on average, but on the flip side she wakes up (after many night wakings -STILL) for the day at around 8am which is really decent of her:)

My husband and I both work full-time. I usually get home around 5:15 and try to get dinner started by 5:45 or so. Like another commenter mentioned, the time between starting dinner and my husband getting home at 6:15 is total chaos with my 18-month-old son pulling out tupperware, wanting to be picked up, etc. We eat around 6:30/6:45 then go straight into bath time in order to get our little guy to bed around 7:45. Some days it's earlier, some days it's later. Eating together helps keep him curious and willing to trying new foods--I'm hoping it stays this way!

We have a two and a half year old and for the first year and a half we didn't do the family meal thing, we just gave him dinner (always with him, though) and put him to bed at 6pm, and then ate later by ourselves. There came a point, though, where I realized he was starting to benefit from family dinners so his bedtime was pushed back and we eat earlier. Now we eat as early as 5:30, which is nice because he isn't totally passed out from exhaustion yet, but not so nice for our calories since we have to eat again around 9pm. But it's all good, I'd rather have a family meal! Now that our daughter's 3 months I think we'll include her as early as we can (for now she sits in her cradle by the table), but we do love that early bedtime for babies!

In my family as I was growing up, we always ate dinner together at 6 or so, and so it has been for my husband and our children.

The kids have a snack at school at around 4, and so last until 6:30 for dinner. It's when we've always had dinner, from the time they were very little. I can't imagine having to cook two separate meals at two different times, or not having everyone in the family sit down together -- that sounds like a lot of work, and you miss their stories about their day.

It's actually upsetting to read how late so many parents have to work... While we've had a couple of positions which basically entitled signing your life over, we've been lucky enough to have jobs that may only involve occasional travel, but reasonable daily hours.

It's one of the things which really hit me hard in Switzerland -- how set in stone reasonable working hours are over there. At least, in the catons of Geneva and Vaud. People make high salaries, have much more vacation time, get a 2 hour lunch (paid lunch), and an early quitting time. It means no Sunday shopping, and only 1 "late" night of shopping per week (Thursday, typically going until 7:30 for larger enterprises in malls; small stores are exempt).

What it means though is that families are able to eat together every night.

Worker's rights just aren't as respected on this side of the Atlantic.

What's with all the later suppers? Who can eat and then go to sleep...that's a long time between lunch and supper. And what time does everyone work until? Or better question, what time do you start work if you don't get home until 7 p.m. or later. The business world around here goes from 8 to 5 p.m.

When I was growing up, my dad got home just after 5 and we ate within half and hour of that and then we DID STUFF in the evening before bed. Same with our kids now. Most daycares require pick-up before 5, so we're home just after that, too. There are probably three or four times A YEAR that we don't have supper together and I find those days disconcerting. From the time they were born, our kids have always been at the table. While not always peaceful, it's nice to all be together doing the same thing.

Our family meal time was always around 6. Sometimes that varied, but it was always between 5:30 and 6:30 so we could all eat together. Mom got off work around 4 because she was a school teacher, and Dad was always home before it was time to set the table and eat. Now my husband and I eat around the same time. We joke that we eat when old people do, but I like it that way. I start work at 7:30 so I'm always starved for lunch around 11:00-11:30. Then I'm starved for dinner around 5:30. No late dinners for me!