I recently tried an experiment where I signed up to receive a bottle of perfume that I knew nothing about except that the person choosing it (a respected expert) thought that it smelled 'like a state of grace.' There would be no labels, no name, no marketing. Just the pure experience of the scent.
When it arrived I gave it a sniff and thought it was OK. Not terrible but not something I would normally choose on my own. Still, I wore it for a month just to see what would happen. And with time my feelings about it changed. Ambivalence grew into curiosity and curiosity grew into appreciation. I gave it time, and it rewarded me with something new and wonderful. Something (and this is the important part) I never would have found on my own, using my own limited preferences.
And while the perfume (which turned out to be Prada's Infusion d'Iris) is not my most favorite, it's on my top five list now. I will definitely keep wearing it, at least until the bottle is gone. If I would have sniffed it in the store six weeks ago, I would have passed it by. Indeed, I may have never even picked up the bottle just because it was Prada and I don't think of myself (not even remotely) as a Prada kind of woman.
What this taught me is that my preferences are not a fixed thing and are therefore not always trustworthy. As adults, we start to catch on to this as we outgrow our childhood likes and dislikes, especially when it comes to food and tastes. We realize that we can learn to like and even love things we spent many years assuming we hated. So we know it is possible. Yet we cling to our preferences and by extension, our beliefs about who we are. We fix our identity on these preferences, such as my rather cavalier "I'm not a Prada kind of woman."
Of course this lesson translates beautifully to the kitchen. We all have ingredients or styles of cooking or flavor profiles that we are so-so about. So try this: Next time you're at the market, pick up a something you can tolerate but aren't necessarily thrilled about and bring it home to your kitchen. In other words, start with something you are ambivalent about as opposed to out-and-out aversion. Cook with it, taste it, eat it, share it. A few days or a week later, try it again. And again. Can you discover, and maybe even grow to appreciate, something outside of the limits of your preferences?
I'm trying this with grapefruit, which I'm usually quite so-so about. I don't hate it but I seldom buy it and I would choose many other citrus fruits before it. So I picked up a sack from the market the other day and have started to work grapefruit into my meals. Last night I had a few sliced segments in a green salad with shrimp and avocado and a little bit of minced red chili. The leftover grapefruit juice went into the vinaigrette which also had some lime and fresh basil.
I took a bite and it was wonderful. I loved how the bitterness and fruitiness of the grapefruit bounced around my tongue and played with the heat of the chili. It was bright and lively and more than a little thrilling. The grapefruit added a whole new dimension to the salad and that newness and vibrancy spilled over into my body and into my wider experience of the world. Learning to appreciate grapefruit, I believe, is making me into a better cook.
It is a delight to discover and appreciate something that we would not normally choose on our own. It opens up our senses and sets off a chain of discovery and growth. We evolve not by staying with what is familiar and makes us comfortable, but through being open to what challenges us and moves up and out of our fixed places. This makes us better cooks, I believe, and possibly even better human beings, or at least a happier ones. For it's one thing to smell like a state of grace, but it's quite another thing to live it.
Who are you on the other side of your fixed ideas and preferences?
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This was so lovely to read, Dana, and such a welcome reminder that a small change can freshen up our lives.
Recently, I switched from the perfume my late partner used to give me (and which my mother continued to give me, in memory of him) to a bright, fizzy ginger ale scent from Demeter. I use only a tiny bit, so in those rare moments when I catch the scent, I'm always pleasantly surprised by this burst of newness.
I have a few little tricks to keep my kitchen routine fresh. A CSA might do it, but none of the local options suited our schedule, so when I want to add something new:
- I rely on the enthusiasms of the farmstand folks, who know what's best and freshest, and who are excited to share new foods with their customers;
- I buy something I've never tasted, or I pick out a recipe I've never tried from a cuisine I don't know well;
- I ignore the tried-and-true advice and go shopping when I'm hungry. When I get home, I usually have all my staples and a few novel items I never would have chosen otherwise.
Our CSA share has really shaken things up for me and I've grown to like all sorts of new things. Pre-CSA, I used to just get whatever was in season at the store, then take it home and try new things with it.
I live in a city that is incredibly diverse ethnically. This also means an abundance of "specialty" markets that meet the needs of the specific ethnic groups. Visiting these markets I not only learn about new foods, but also new recipes new techniques and places that I might never be able to visit myself, but can learn a bit more about by talking to and being friendly with the folks in these stores. A stroll outside my neighborhood leads me to so much interesting stuff.
I agree with STH about using what comes in "the box." A long story behind it but I decided to be grateful for the seemingly endless root veg of a New England winter and found kohlrabi and celeriac that way--both true favorites now. Callaloo came recently and turns out to taste a lot like an old childhood love, okra. I could do without the black radishes of a looooonnggg April, but I managed to get through without too many winding up in the compost. When I go to a restaurant I always look for something I know I wouldn't make at home and that brings new tastes as well.
It is important to note, if you are on medication, that Grapefruit interferes with the CYP3A4 enzyme which is important in the metabolism of 60% of all medications out there. If you intend to add grapefruit to your diet on a regular basis, and are on medication, it is best to consult your physician about the possible interactions. Even 8-16 oz. of grapefruit juice a day can alter the therapeutic effect of medication, leading to a diminished effect or even toxicity. I hope this is helpful.
@Charlotte: Yes! Whenever I eat out I make sure to try something that I could never make at home or have never had before!
This is great! I love that my husband has different food preferences than I do so that I will be encouraged to eat things I'm not a huge fan of (and he is too).
And I totally agree with the comment on CSAs. Luckily they will let me trade out the bell peppers because I absolutely hate those, but summer squash isn't something I buy or use regularly otherwise and they are overflowing with it so I am finding all sorts of new ways to cook and enjoy it.
At the farmers market I always used to pass by produce that I didn't know what it is, and now I at least ask. Then I can look up recipes and find out ways to use items I have never seen before, and lots of times the vendors are also great at offering suggestions.
A few years ago, I decided to take on a similar feat with some ingredients I was squeamish about: mushrooms, whiskey and radishes. Today, I have several "standard" dishes that include mushrooms; my typical bar order is a bourbon and soda; and it turns out that while ambivalent to raw radishes, I adore them roasted!
Open minds certainly can be rewarding. Thanks for a lovely post.
Great post and thank you @ Elsa Macbebekin. :)
While I am experimental in the kitchen, I'm not when it comes to scents or clothing... For that same "I'm not a (whatever) type person."
Think I should change that up, some.
FWIW, ginger and grapefruit oils make a great scent.
I hated grapefruit as a kid, then one day I just decided I wanted to like it, despite thinking it tasted like disgusting sour bitter shit to me. I started getting grapefruit juice whenever I could and it was only a few bottles later that my palette stepped in line and I started loving it, and I still do today. Maybe this doesn't work for everyone, but I often just decide that I will like something, or decide I'm not as tired as I feel I am when hiking, or decide I'm not really car sick, and when I really concentrate on it, it usually works out.
I'm a recovering very picky eater. I'm discovered I can sort of trick myself to eat new foods if I do it in public. I'll eat all kinds of foods to be polite--as a nod to my gracious host, and to see if the food really is something that I don't like on a taste level (cucumbers) or more based on a psychological idea that I don't like it (I didn't eat fresh oranges for most of life, orange juice was fine, tried orange segments finally, and hey, I love 'em). Raw onion was another thing that I got as a surprise on a plate in a restaurant, and again, "that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, so maybe this foods' okay." Still recovering, still somewhat squeamish about certain foods, and I'll end up just eating a smaller portion than going for seconds. Currently, I'm easing into eating more greens (I know, I know), so I'm sneaking purposefully into foods I love, like spinach into mac and cheese, or getting a dish in a restaurant that contains kale as a side. Plus, the restuarant is probably going to do a good job of cooking the veggie, and I love good food, so it seems about 80-90% I'll enjoy the item and feel bolder incorporating it into my ingredient rotation.