In college, my roommates and I all bought our own food, as we had vastly different tastes. The only items that were for community use were things like ketchup, mustard, etc. Even then we were to use them sparingly if we didn't purchase them ourselves. If we used anything else that wasn't ours, we were to ask. We never really had a problem in the 3 years we lived together. I had friends who all pitched in for food and together every night. That would have never worked for us (and it didn't really for them either since they had different ideas on how much to spend on a meal).

I never shared food with any of my roommates. We each had our own sections of the fridge and pantry. If we wanted to share a meal (which was rare), then we'd just combine our ingredients or someone would just cook something and offer to share the result.

I think I'd have really been freaked out if a roommate wanted to have a budget and all that.

I've always had a similar situation to goldbu - we shared things like condiments which usually go bad before they are used up by one person. For other foods, I've always considered it to be a gift and not an obligation. My roommate now is a good friend, so we often make meals together and keep only a rough a mental tally. This works well because neither of us is totally strapped for cash, and we are both equally generous. When I lived with roommates who were not my friends, I only shared food that I didn't want - for example, if I made too many cookies I'd happily share my bounty without an expectation of reciprocation. If you are planning to share meals frequently, I'd suggest that you switch off kitchen duties - one person pays for and cooks a meal one time, and then the other person reciprocates the next time. That way, if they need to eat sea scallops and imported champagne they can pay for it, and if you need to you can reciprocate with some delicious lentils with PBR.

Since your budget is so limited, I wouldn't recommend sharing any pantry staples that need to be replaced frequently.

I never shared food with roommates, and it worked out well that way. That way I could scarf the last of the cheese at 2 am if I felt like it, buy goat, or in a fit of frugality buy practically nothing for a week or so. Sharing food should only be done by married people who share all joint expenses I think. Too many problems otherwise.

The easiest way is to each be responsible for your own groceries. It will help preserve your relationship, I promise. You'll find there's plenty of things to cause roommate resentment (like the roommate who always drains the last of the water in the Brita and doesn't refill it) without putting food into the mix. Sharing meals can also be tricky, if you have different tastes, different expectations about the quality of the ingredients and preparation, etc. If you find that your tastes are similar enough and you want to trade off cooking duty, then I agree with x8spudnik that you should each buy the ingredients for the meal you are going to prepare. Otherwise, there is a lot to be said for drawing that line down the middle of the fridge and

I've done it two ways: buying my own food and not sharing and splitting the bill in half every week. When I was buying my own food it was because I lived with 4 other people and our eating habits were too varied. I found that I spent a lot more on food and that a lot more went to waste because it was hard to buy for just one person and eat it all.

On the other hand, my next roommate and I had very similar eating habits so we would just split the bill every week. We did this for three years. We weren't sure it would work out at first because she liked some things that I wouldn't eat and vice versa. However, one week I would be craving something and the next she would want something I wasn't a fan of so it always evened out. If one of us needed shampoo or deodorant we would just make a separate purchase. It also helped that we made most of our meals together so we were both eating the same food.

I've lived in apartment where everyone bought their own food and kept it separate. This works fine until someone is low on cash and things start to go missing.

I've also done the communal fridge, which was (at least for me terrible). Our roommate believed that people should "share the wealth." The problem was, he never had anything to share/reciprocate. It got to a point where we felt very taken-advantage-of.

Everything will be fine so long as you talk about it before hand, set out ground rules, and make sure you're living with someone who has similar values.

When I lived with housemates we pretty much all bought our own stuff, although we sometimes offered each other whatever we were cooking. When it came to things like dish soap, we sort of alternated (although as the only girl--not to be sexist--I ended up being the one who noticed these sort of things the most...). I do think it varies among individuals, though, and you have to figure out what works best in your situation. Above all, good communication is a must!

I mean replacing the dish soap.

My roommate and I always had a communal fridge/pantry. It worked out really well for the 2 of us. I don't see it working for any more than that very well. I also had a rule that he had to have a job withing 3 months of moving in, otherwise he had to find another place. This kept the food stocked if need be. If I ate the last of his salsa, I told him and bought another jar when I was out the next time. The same went for him with anything I had purchased. We would cook dinner and share meals as we went.
If someone is being selfish, it's time for them to leave. You may be out the extra for rent, but you'll gain just as much for food and other commodities.

This varies (so much!) person to person.

I've had roommates who were very proactive about getting items like paper towels if they knew I bought them the last time, so we didn't need a system to divide the cost of those items. We usually talked in advance if we wanted to cook something together and would try to evenly split up the needed groceries.

I've also had a roommate on tight budget who preferred pooling a set amount of money each month to buy communal items like dish soap. That was fine with me, but because of her unhealthy eating habits, we rarely shared food.

I've also had lazy, inconsiderate roommates who ate other peoples' food without asking, who would use up the toilet paper and not tell anyone, etc.

The point? You've got to feel out your living situation before you'll know what will work the best. Let your roommate know that this is something you've wondered about and ask if he or she has any strong preferences.

I have two roommates, and we share everything in the kitchen. We do about the same amount of cooking, so it works out well. Every time someone goes food shopping, we just write our name on the receipt and stick it on the fridge. At the end of the month we each tally what we've spent and settle up so that everyone comes out even. It's a good system for us because it equalizes everything and we don't have to worry about eating each others' food. (The only exception is takeout, in which everyone pays their own way and maintains ownership of leftovers - missing lo mein is no joke.)

With my first roommate outside of the dorms, we decided to shop together and split costs. Little did I know she was the type to buy $30 of sparkling juice in one go and expect me to pay for most of it. Add to the fact that I like cooking from scratch and all she wanted were boxed dinners, it just didn't work out.

For my next set of roommates (4 of us total), we all bought and cooked everything seperately. 4 things of milk (3 of which were skim...), lord knows how much bread, 200+ spices (we counted and made a google doc to keep track of what we had). It got pretty ridiculous. We did have a set day for roommate dinners for a while, but it died off a few months after I moved in.

Thankfully, I think my current roommate and I have found a happy medium. We go in together for things like milk, bread, flour, sugar, condiments, etc. Everything else, we get on our own. We'll happily cook for eachother, but I work days and he works nights, so usually we don't even see eachother during the week. We also have different likes and dislikes, so cooking on our own works out great. It means more dishes, but if you can handle that, its pretty smooth sailing.

When I was in the Navy, the roommate who paid for the groceries would write their initial on the grocery receipt and keep it in a drawer in the kitchen. If we bought something that wasn't for public consumption (one of my roommates ate hominy, the rest of us wouldn't touch it) we'd strike it out. At the end of the month we'd total the receipts for each person and divide by the number of roommates. We'd do the same for the house bills. Then if we'd pay the differences to each other. Usually, all the bills were under one name, so the other 2 roommates cut a check to that one, minus what she owed us on the receipts.

In the many years I had roommates while in school we always bought our food and disposable items separately, with exceptions for milk, toilet paper, etc.

The biggest problems are 2 types of roommates:
1. people that forget to purchase things (I had one roommate that would ALWAYS forget to buy toilet paper).
2. people that mooch and are selfishly cheap

Alot of times #2 people try to disguise themselves as #1 people, but it's always obvious. In either case you have to set a brightline.

I currently live with 5 other guys and have a unique system that has mostly worked fit us for the two years we've lived together. We develop annually a house budget which includes rent, utilities, Internet, netflix, and a food budget for the month (currently $100/person/month). This covers all meals and each house member is responsible for cooking obe meal a week. We're actually pretty busy so often only half of us are there, but we'll just take leftovers to work the next day. Unfortunately for my roommates (fortunately for me), I've been engaged for almost 3 months (8 to go!) and find I'm not eating at the house enough to keep paying for food there. Until recently though, our shared budget worked really well.

I think the two most important points from your question are that i) you describe yourself as frugal, and; ii) you don't know if your to-be roommate has the same budget as you, food-wise.

That you don't know your roommate's spending habits makes me think that you haven't talked to him. I vote you start there. If he's a fan of expensive groceries, I suggest not sharing. If you're trying to stay on budget, splitting bills with someone else could stress you out-- especially if he spends more than you. It's much easier to stay frugal if you're only watching your own spending.

I have done both (shared, and had completely different groceries). One of the biggest problems with sharing, I found, was that it wasn't even. Sure, it was close most of the time, but if you're living on a tight budget, even that could be a stresser. Also, I found that I was much more likely to buy expensive stuff if I knew that it was for both my roommate and myself. When I was student, I was on a very tight budget, but I was good at making do without. However, when I saw something that my roommate would like (and I would like, too) I would buy it as a treat for us. Buying a large hunk of brie was much easier to do when I used my roommate as an excuse to do so (versus my own cravings).

What worked best for me and my roommates, was everyone buying their own stuff except for condiments and spices. That being said, we did share to an extent. If I was making something that could really use something that my roommates had and I didn't, they usually offered to share (and vice versa). For example, if I saw my roommate making a salad, I would offer her some almonds to throw in. Also, if we we cooked together, we would all contribute an ingredient or two, or go grocery shopping together for that specific meal. It worked for us.

Some of my friends in another house had a money jar, and split groceries completely. I think they spent 300$ on food/booze for 6 people a month in downtown Toronto. It worked well for them. But, when they moved to a new place, they didn't continue the money jar system, but still shared all of their food. The result? Two of them ended up buying food for everyone. It didn't work that well.

Another thing to consider when sharing staples is how much of each staple you both use. Sure, you both like skim milk, but if you only have a bit in your daily coffee, and your roommate drinks three glasses a day, it might bother you. Milk isn't the cheapest thing to buy. I know that this sounds cheap, but depending on how tight your frugal budget is, you might have to do things that seem cheap. It could save your roommate relationship in the long run.

I've had many roommates and many fights about food. The best thing to do is set up boundaries or at least discuss things that worry you, or pet peeves right from the get go. I always took care of my own breakfast and lunch, and asked if I could use something that wasn't mine (but condiments like mustard were always fair game). Dinners we ate together mostly and we would pitch in money based on the receipt, but of course we always attacked it by finding out what people were willing to spend first. We would never come back asking everyone to pitch in $40 because we purchased something like fillet minion. Honestly the biggest fights were over things like toilet paper, dishsoap and cleaning products. For these items I would suggest shopping together and spending as little as possible. I once had a roommate who went to the store and purchased the most expensive cleaning products etc., when I moved in with her. She brought the receipt to me and asked me to pay half - $80. I said absolutley not and made her return the items.

Good Luck!

I've had tons of roommates over the years and have found keeping food separate is the best idea.

Currently, my roommate and I alternate buying things like milk, bread and eggs. We're also open to sharing food but it's usually a "Hey, I used the last of your olive oil. I'll replace it!" kind of thing. We have a communal cupboard with things like baking soda, spices, anything we're not going to use up ourselves, things on sale, etc . . . We like to eat together on weekends and that usually means each of us contributing to a joint meal or one of us making something this week and the other making something next time.

I think our system only works because we've been roommates forever and it's just developed over time. If you're unfamiliar with a roommate, it's probably a good idea to keep things separate for a while. After a few months you can see how well you two mesh on household things like toilet paper & dish soap. If those go smoothly you can add in communal food. I'm pretty sure I would've been taken aback if a new roommate wanted to sit down and write out a budget with me.

This varied so much depending on the roommates I had at the time. By and large, I always bought my own food, but with certain roommates I let them know they could use things like my olive oil, salt, flour, eggs, whatever--so long as they replaced it. I only established this policy with roommates after living with them for a while and figuring out whether they were respectful enough to do this. I rarely shared meals with my roommates unless it was something we all went and shopped for together, everyone buying something to contribute.

One thing my fiance and I did with our last roommate was to tack on the expenses of things like dish soap, toilet paper, and paper towels to the rent. Since I was responsible for collecting checks and writing the one rent check to the landlord, and also the one with the Costco card, this was the easy way to do it. Because we shopped at Costco for these things, we also only had to do it once every 3-6 months.

Just don't assume your roommate's food is free for you to use. I once caught an old roommate's boyfriend packing up my food--including my expensive olive oil and sea salt--because he thought that since it was close to move out time, I wasn't going to be using them anymore. Always, always, always ask first.

I lived once with a roommate who had a very different financial style than I did, and we settled on this system:

We decided that all shared food items would be split 50-50. When one of us went to the store, we'd put the receipt up on the fridge, and then the other person would go through and circle what she wanted to share. She'd add up the total and then figure out her half.

Then we kept a balance sheet on the fridge with two columns: "A owes B" and "B owes A." When I wanted to share some food she'd bought, I'd put the total I figured out in the column of what I owed her. When I paid a bill, I put her half in the column that she owed me. And vice versa. Then, when it was time to pay rent, we totaled all of the expenses and settled up.

In college, myself and my roommates always bought our own food. I liked to cook and have fruits and veggies with every meal, and they ate coffee... with sides of random things like chips, frozen peas, hot pockets, and/or bran flakes. While most things were purchased separately, we were really relaxed about sharing. For example, I may wake up in the morning and be out of cereal, I would go ahead and grab some from my roommates box and then let her know when she got up and ask what kind she wanted so I could replace it when I went to the store. BUT! I would never finish off her box (because that would leave her cereal-less when she got up). We shared milk, coffee supplies, and toilet paper (just took turns getting this stuff or "found" it for free on campus :-) We never put strict rules on this, it was always just a feeling, like you'd just know when it was you're turn to buy this stuff. Of course, we had known each other since grade school, so there was a level of respect and conscientiousness already established between us. We also were always able to speak up if on the rare occasion someone slacked on picking up TP or finished off the half 'n' half again. Never let resentments buildup or you'll become hyper-vigilant about catching each other mooching or slacking and that will lead to trouble.

Come to think of it, the food sharing situation went much smoother with my college roommates than it is with my current boyfriend...

It looks like you're getting a lot of advice to just buy your own food, and I'd concur with that. I've lived with a variety of roommates, anywhere from 1 to 4 at a time, and I feel like having primarily your own food is always the best way to go (unless your roommate is also your SO, then it's a totally different ballgame). You say that you are a frugal person, and being that myself, I found it is very hard to feel that things are working out completely fairly when you share your food supply and costs. Since you only have two people sharing the fridge, space shouldn't be too big of an issue either.
I think the key is setting up clear rules in the beginning. It can be a little tough to talk about without feeling bossy/possessive/or whatever about it, but setting up firm guidelines right away will help you avoid so many problems later. You could start by explaining that you are on a limited food budget that requires you to do some advance planning when it comes to food and that you want to discuss the issue so there won't be any misunderstandings. You should talk with your new roommate about things that you will have to share expenses on (toilet paper, dish soap, paper towels) and things that might be a good idea to share if you will both be using them equally and it makes more sense to buy in bulk (milk, condiments, certain pantry basics). Make sure you agree what these items are and how you will go about paying for them. Will one person spend the money upfront and get reimbursed, will there be a shared fund? Make sure you are both clear that anything that has not been talked about as being a shared item or offered to the other person specifically should be considered the property of the purchaser and if the other person wants some, they should ask. Seems harsh to say especially if it's to someone you don't know that well yet, but believe me, it should be gotten out in the open right away.
As far as shared meals, they should be taken on a case by case basis. If you are cooking up a big batch of something and feel inclined to share, do so. If you don't feel inclined to share, perhaps because you don't feel like it has been reciprocated in the past or you want to keep it for your own use, you should feel ok about that, and if the rules have been set up like they should in the beginning, it shouldn't be a problem. If you're making meals together with shared resources, then you need to be open and honest about what you're willing to share. Saying, "sorry, but I was saving that for something else" should be enough explanation.
If you have a problem come up be adult about it and bring it up. Avoid passive aggressive notes or overly confrontational and accusatory language, but make it clear that you find their action unacceptable. If you are dealing with more than one roommate and you don't know for sure who the culprit is then speak to each person individually.
All this advice may sound a little cold and maybe unfriendly, and I admit that I am an only child and I don't do great with sharing all the time, but in my experience only the most laid back people can really share freely without having little bits of resentment build up. If you are budget conscious, I think it's even harder. Being upfront about things is infinitely better than having a million little resentments piling up until you finally explode on someone for finishing off the peanut butter and looking like a psycho. I've been there, I know.

Last year I lived with four others, and we had an effective system for this; for breakfast, lunch, snacks and weekend meals we did for ourself. Each weeknight one of us cooked, from a shared fund, with a guideline of $3 per person per meal (I live in New Zealand so the amount that works for you might be quite different). This allowed enough creativity that we ate different stuff all the time, but was still less than most people spend (and cooking together gave us economies of scale).

During college and the few years after, I have lived with about 15 different people (2-4 different ones per year). We've tried every combination of buying your own food to sharing you can possibly imagine. I have found that the only thing that works properly is if everyone buys their own things and eats their own food. I've had roommates who buy things for the house which is fantastic, but at the same time, I've had roommates who ate my food and never asked or mentioned it afterward.

It really depends on what kind of person your roommate is and you won't really know that until you've lived with them for a while. If you're worried about them taking advantage or not contributing, then start out by buying your own things individually. If it works out well and they're willing to share certain things (condiments, pasta, etc) then go for it! No need to make enemies with your roommate!

The biggest thing is to not be shy if you feel like you are being taken advantage of. If you don't say anything and let them keep taking your things or if you're passive aggressive and take their things as retaliation, your living environment will be hostile and unpleasant and you will grow to resent your roommate. Just tell them that you want to keep some things separate and it's not like he can argue because after all, you bought it in the first place.

I've lived with roommates my whole adult life and the fact of the matter is, there's only usually one "good guy" in the apartment and it's usually you. I am not saying all, or even most, roommates are bad but most people have no qualms eating your food. Even if they claim to replace it, it doesn't help you much when they finish your salsa you were expecting to use later for tacos and the next time they are goign to the market is 2 weeks from now. I go to the market 2-3 times a week and have had roommates who shop twice a month. When am I getting that butter? It's much easier for me to just go myself and replace it.

Also, I noticed people will see ingredients in a fridge and pantry and somehow forget that no, they never have bought maple syrup in their lives, and now it's miraculously there for their pancakes. I am not trying to nickel and dime here but like I said, it's rare that you get a situation where everyone does an equal share of shopping, cooking, cleaning, sharing, etc.

It depends on your situation really. I've lived with a boyfriend and a close friend, then with 5 other friends, and more recently with just my boyfriend. My first situation was easy. All of us bought our own food and ate it. If we wanted a meal together, we all chipped in.

The second situation was a little trickier. I had dishonest roommates who thought any food in the house was theirs for the taking. I suspect that since you won't be living with 5 other people, you won't run into that problem.

My boyfriend and I are all about splitting things down the middle, which is sometimes a hassle, but both of us agree it's worth it so neither one of us feels like we're always footing the bill. We have a dry-erase board and when one of us makes a trip to the grocery store, we write down half of the total down in our column. At the end of the month, we even things out.

I hope that helps!

my roommate and i share food, and have for the entire three years we've lived together. it works out because of two things:

-we are very, VERY conscientious about buying the "expensive" stuff. i remind her when it was i who bought the last jug of olive oil, she'll remind me that she bought the last thing of detergent. it might seem a little nit-picky on the surface, but it's all in fairness.
-we have a routine of buying food every two weeks, and freezing/canning/storing things so that they'll last a long time. if you're running to the store every three days, it's complicated; if you go every two weeks, and just freeze a few loaves of bread and meats, then it's easier to keep track of who did what.

another thing that you might consider doing is starting up a joint checking account with your roommate. banks will do that for just about anyone (don't let them tell you that you have to be married--that happened to some friends of mine who wanted to set it up before they got married, and the teller pitched a fit--it is totally legit to do with whomever you want). that way, you can put the same amount of money in, and use that account for all of your different bills together.

If I tell you that many many years later, I have no idea how my roommates and I handled our food situation and expenses, maybe that can ease your mind. But we muddled through it and came out the other end relatively unscarred.

The one primo move I do remember though is for one set of roommates we went in on a giant case of toilet paper the week we moved in and the toilet paper was on sale too. We had enough that we never bought toilet paper the entire time we lived together. That was peace of mind.

I lived in a revolving door of a sharehouse with 4 others. We purchased everything separately and there was never a problem. I was on a tight budget ($30/week in inner city Sydney) and always ate at home or ate leftovers at uni. Others went out to eat, or didn't cook much, or bought expensive ingredients, so sharing would never have worked - we all had totally different habits.

I'm really into baking, so I accumulated a lot of baking stuff- sugar, flour, cocoa etc and my housemates somehow thought this was 'shared' stuff and started helping themselves. When I pointed this out to them it was all good and they stopped using it- it was an honest misundertanding, they thought it was 'house sugar' and 'house coffee' (I dunno, maybe they thought it was part of the rent/bills?).

The only other thing I would say is it's a good idea to split cleaning products. I always ended up buying things like toilet paper, for example, or we'd run out, which is really embarassing when, say, you're having a house party. Eventually I just asked everyone to give me $5 a month and I'd go stock up on toilet paper, dish soap, hand soap etc. It worked out well.

My roommate and I shopped together but purchased separate groceries. We shared condiments like mustard and ketchup, and my dad works for a dairy and lived in the next town over, therefore supplying us with a steady stream of milk, sour cream, cottage cheese, and creamer. We also split on coffee, since we had one coffee maker and both drink coffee daily. We took turns buying toilet paper, and used a lot of natural cleaners to offset costs and help the environment. Sometimes we'd throw parties or make shared meals, but not often, and it was never an issue.

I only ever share milk with roommates. ONLY. Milk is boring, cheap, and the buying of it is easily split. This is totally normal. I've never had a food-sharing agreement with any roommate. It's totally normal to be separate.

Not only am I super neurotic about not taking others' food, I'm also a total foodie who buys weird and wonderful things that I want all to myself. (I'm buying that cheddar because it's the cheddar I love and your $4.99 safeway brick is NOT an acceptable replacement.)

That said, I will always offer up a plate of something I've made, or if I'm going away I'll leave a list of perishables that the roommate should help themselves to. BUT IF I WAKE UP ON SATURDAY AND MY F*&*&ING PEANUT BUTTER IS GONE, I WILL PLOT MURDER.

If you don't know your new roommate's habits yet, I suggest starting off with separate food and cooking for yourselves - sharing only by explicit invitation.

Designated shelf in the fridge, in the cupboards. People may SAY they're frugal or healthy or whatever but you'll know for sure after a month or two of seeing what they actually buy and how they cook. If you find you have overlapping tastes and budgets, then you may both think it makes sense to merge. But it seems like going the other way could lead to bad feeling and resentment.

I've had tons of roommates, and find that while it's easier to always get my own stuff, it's way cheaper if we tag team it at least for bigger things that everyone uses. www.wepay.com is a cool site to manage all the splitting of the costs if you get your bigger stuff at Costco and the like. (disclosure, wepay is a client of mine and I think they're a pretty sweet service for this kind of roommate question). Anyway, just wanted to share.