The most kitschy and challenging of manufactured holidays is almost upon us. Valentine's very much depends on playing along with its potential for retro kitsch with creativity and flair, and this, my friends, is exactly what you need: The Bacon of the Month Club ($140 plus shipping, The Grateful Palate). The Club offers twelve months of different artisan bacons, delivered directly to the door of your lucky love. A rubber pig nose, a t-shirt and a few other things are thrown in too, but the bacon is the star. Some of the artisan bacons listed individually for sale at the website include Applewood Smoked, Old-Fashioned Maple Bacon, and Hams and Jowl. Pink, red, and white - even the colors work. Maybe you should forget the chocolate this Valentine's and give a gift that keeps on giving.