Hahahaha. i facebook posted a very similar query recently. I do find it is much easier to eat salad with a real metal fork (plastic forks are hopeless) but that causes trouble if you're stuck with a flimsy plate. I have stabbed througha number of cheap styrofoam plates only to create a sea of salad dressing on the table or lap that I am eating on.

I have become a stab and anchorer for the most part, though!

I just refuse plastic forks in general but for a salad especially it's useless.

I usually go for the fork and knife. I use the knife to fold the greens over the fork. Once I have the greens attached I may scoop or gently spear a topping (beans scoop usually, but tomatoes, olives, chopped veggies... can usually be speared)

Eat like a European and push the salad onto the fork with a knife.

It sounds like you might be taking overly large forkfuls, which is easy to do when you're trying to get a little of everything in one bite.

I know what you mean though about having an awkwardly shaped piece of lettuce that's hard to fit in your mouth. In those cases, a lighter load on the fork makes it easy to kind of rotate it into your mouth (think of it like parallel parking the leaf into your mouth).

And hey, I know we're not supposed to use our hands, but poking in a stray leaf with your finger is better than letting it slap around on your chin for a few bites, right?

And ditto to fi_burke on plastic forks. Keep a real fork on hand at work if you need to.

I always eat my salads with a knife at hand. The knife is for trimming pieces that are too big and for pushing pieces onto the fork for easier eating. If I were in the business of selling salads at restaurants, I'd insist on cutting the food up more. I don't want my greens in tablecloth-sized chunks on my plate. And why on earth don't chefs cut onions into something other than skinny little whole rings? If they ever actually tried to eat their own salads with skinny rings of onion, they might do something different. :)

Take this with a grain of salt, because I eat about 85% of my meals with chopsticks, but I use chopsticks to eat salad. They're ideally suited to picking up loose greens and chopped up veggies.

PS. They are also awesome with bacon and sausage =)

Or maybe someone needs to invent a special wide salad fork that can handle scooping?

@Adam chopsticks are AWESOME for cooking bacon.

If eating at a restaurant: I slice through everything so I can get a little bit of all the ingredients in each bite. Also, using the knife to get the salad onto the fork if necessary.

If eating at home: I grab a handful of greens and gently rip them all up on the plate before topping with dressing and other ingredients. This helps to eat it more like a civilized human being.

I've been eating salad since I could chew solid foods (my parents insisted on it, every night), so I think I have the technique down: I poke my fork into the thickest part of the lettuce leaf, pick the fork up slightly, fold the leaf over, and poke the other half of the leaf. If I happen to get some salad goodies trapped in the fold, all the better.

But when not in public, I often eat the biggest leaves with my fingers. Tastes better that way.

OMG! I thought I was the only one who had this problem. I just assumed I was enthusiastic eater of salads but will admit that I am guilty of trying to get a bite of all the little bits in every bite. When I eat my salads for lunch at work, I eat them in a bowl so that helps a little bit but not much. I was just thinking this afternoon of how piggy I must have looked while trying gracefully to eat my lunch. Too funny.

From a pure etiquette standpoint, you should never try to eat a piece of lettuce that hasn’t been cut into a bite-size piece. A high-class restaurant will prepare your salad this way (with the exception of a wedge salad). But at most eateries, this appears to be a lost art form. I suspect this is because it’s labor intensive and because big leaves make your salad look bigger (more air between big leaves). So, if the restaurant isn’t classy enough to chop your salad properly, take a knife to it. A pile of small pieces is easier to impale with your fork because it makes the salad denser (again, less air space).

fork and knife or lift and fold methods described above though at home chopsticks are the way to go! that said, frisee is impossible to eat gracefully. IMPOSSIBLE!

at the pub i frequent, the salad vexes me continually. all the veg is julienned or diced so fine and then tossed with the biggest hunks of lettuce. it's almost impossible to get a forkful which isn't just shoved into my mouth before all the little bits fall off the giant piece of lettuce. alas, it's a very tasty mix of ingredients, so i probably won't stop ordering it.

as hooloovoo mentioned, i usually just take the knife to it and look silly slicing up my salad before i can eat it.

Jus like Adam, I eat my salads with chopsticks. Works wonders.

Agree with Adam and Christine. Chopsticks make it easy to pick up and tuck leaves into your mouth.

Chopsticks will change how you eat salad forever! They seriously rock. And an excellent reason to invest in a cute set :)

The salad does not lend itself well to our American custom of using a fork as a shovel and thinking a knife is only for meat. As mlflamingo says, go European style and use a fork AND a knife. Problem solved, and it makes more than just salad much easier to eat neatly. Plus it's much more civilized looking, too.

As splatgirl said, the European style (which I believe is called Continental style, technically, right?) is the best approach for non-sloppy salad eating. It also keeps you from eating lightening fast, which I think we do in the States quite a bit. The method sort of forces you to be a little more deliberate about your eating, which can be refreshing. That being said, I also like the chopsticks idea. I eat a TON of stuff with chopsticks. It's like eating with tongs, but people think you're all fancy and sophisticated (or they think you're a total weirdo, which I am very comfortable with). Also, with chopsticks, its easy to fold over gargantuan pieces of lettuce and snatch them up with the tong-like technique that only chopsticks allow for.

I know that this doesn't count as 'eating with decorum' but salad tastes better if you eat it with your fingers. Seriously.

I eat salad with chopsticks too, but not most of my food. Mostly salad and cheetos and asian food (gyoza taste better with chopsticks)

Having a salad that is properly chopped, instead of torn into giant chunks, or left whole-leaf, is my key to eating delicately. Having romaine with crunchy bits in there helps, too. Or cucumbers. Or tomatoes. I also find that getting dressing on the side and dipping your fork in it before you stab your greens and veggies helps prevent dressing smears. It also helps you eat less dressing and you always get the right amount with each bite.

Of course, that doesn't really work well for vinaigrettes, but still...

The chopsticks thing only works if you're GOOD at using chopsticks! Lol...

I simply chop up the salad (lettuce and all components) into bite sized pieces - I mean, overly chop. Big leaves of lettuce are just not appealing to me. I never have a problem when each piece in the salad is bite sized :-)

I eat salads with chopsticks. I find it gives me more control and I can easily fold large pieces before picking them up.

Hahaha... so it isn't just me!

@hooloovoo,
"So, if the restaurant isn’t classy enough to chop your salad properly, take a knife to it."

This is a great suggestion, though, is it appropriate to be silently, patiently cutting your salad for 5 minutes while everyone else is indelicately digging into their beautifully arranged salad?

There is this one Thai restaurant that serves up the starter salad with very big iceberg lettuce leaves (no like!) piled really high on a very small plate. I invariably spill the julienned carrots everywhere, and manage to finish the salad only because no one else is at the restaurant, so I proceed to stuff it in anyway I can.

I just eat small mouthfuls.

With a knife and fork! Fold lettuce, don't cut, use knife to get onto fork. There must be a YouTube video of this.

As many other people have already said, this is what your knife is for. Jeez.

The chopsticks trick is great, as is the knife and fork. In restaurants, I often do the knife and fork (and people make fun of me for being a finicky rabbit food eater, but I've been vegetarian for 14 years now so I'm used to it.)

At home, I cut my greens up into bite size pieces BEFORE I make the salad. And chopsticks, just for fun and to slow me down.

If I'm eating out, I'll get my dressing on the side, dip my fork into the dressing, then spear a few leaves/etc onto my fork. I tend to get less dressing on my face. (Also results in less vinaigrette-related breakouts, score.)

The knife and form method works well for me, as does using a piece of bread from the bread service as a "shover" onto the fork. But smaller bites is also key. Nothing quite says "class" like dribbling dressing down your silk blouse or over the tablecloth.

Yeah, that would be "knife and forK" not form. Must remember to proofread...

I have to back up krista234 and all the others that mentioned Chopsticks! They are the best. A knife with your salad is not only impractical, but as no chef would cut up lettuce, why should you?

When I'm at home, I consider salad to be a finger food. I mean, it's not sticky, it doesn't take well to forking, and it works best when dipped in the dressing, rather than bathed in it.

When I'm out? I use a fork, but usually end up looking like an uncultured moron.

I vote knife and fork as well. But always fold, and never cut, salad. My family is from France - there it is a VERY big no-no to cut or indeed to eat salad any other way.

Technically, no items in a salad should be larger than bite-sized and it's considered to be rude if you cut up your salad. It's like insulting the chef and pointing out that s/he doesn't know how to make a salad. The "European" pushing with the help of your table knife is the proper way.

Now, what you are supposed to do if you have an idiot chef who doesn't cut up the salad pieces enough is a mystery. I think the Southern Belle Primer would want you to send it back.

With that said, even though I know what it takes to be a southern belle, I'm not. I just don't eat the stupid salad if I have problems with it. I don't like lettuce enough to fight with it.

I learned while working at a Japanese steakhouse that chopsticks are 100x more effective for eating salad than forks are!

I have a salad for dinner every night (late dinners = no interest in anything heavier/fancier), and I made a New Years Resolution to finally learn to use chopsticks after mumblemumble years.
I have to admit it, they kind of rock. But I don't know what I'll do when I get to a restaraunt that serves salad (which is never the restaraunt that has chopsticks).

Have a napkin handy and just be proud you are eating salad.

when splurging on a take-out salad at lunch for work I omit the croutons and about 1/2 the cheese and wrap it into a pita or tortilla. Just makes life easier. For the most part, I make salads at home (as they taste better and are more nutritious then resteraunts) and make the pieces actually bite size.

CHOPSTICKS!

Seriously, it's so much easier!

My (French) grandmother taught me that it is very poor etiquette to use a knife to help you eat your salad. Apparently it's because the acids in salad dressings wreak havoc on your (real) silverware. Granted, that shouldn't be a problem for modern metal tableware, but in case you want to follow the old-Europe ways, you should use a piece of bread to help you get the lettuce speared on the fork (that's what bread on the table is for! not as a pre-meal snack!).

Hmm, or maybe it was that knife blades were made with some corrosive metal other than silver? Because otherwise your forks would tarnish too?

Either way, I was always reminded: no elbows on the table, and no knives in the salad!