It's just something I never do, and that's just the manners my parents taught me. However, I don't notice it much when others do it, and I'm not offended when guest do. I think it has to do with the fact that we had a small kitchen table that we all gathered around for dinner every night, and if everyone put their elbows on the table, there wouldn't be room!

Growing up my dad said NEVER ever (and would tap our elbows with the handle of his knife if we forgot). I remember once when I was about 6 or 7, we went out for dinner. I put my elbows up on the table while I was reading the menu. Dad noticed right away and that was it, we went home. My manners weren't ready for eating out yet, we would try again when I was older.

Now that I'm older, I think it really depends on the situation. When I'm having dinner with my family, I don't care. When I'm in a more formal setting, I try to remember to keep my elbows off the table. But because I eat in casual settings more often than not, sometimes I lean on my elbows without even realizing it; it's habit! Which can be a problem when I'm out at a fancy place.

I am a strong believer in good table manners but I don't care even a little bit about elbows on the table. It's just an arbitrary convention--why is it acceptable to have wrists on the table but not elbows?

Occasionally when in a particularly nice restaurant I'll realise I have my elbows on the table, glance around and see plenty of other people doing it. I don't know anyone who actually finds it rude, as long as you're not looking bored and miserable I don't see the problem. I think maybe it applies more to when you have a plate of food in front of you perhaps?

Is the elbow rule rule part of American dining etiquette? I usually do forearms, but I think elbows should be OK, especially at more casual settings or after the meal. Dunno what the big deal is about.

I've honestly never thought about it. Is this an issue for people? How sad!

When my dad was a kid in the 50's, my grandparents used to take him & my uncle on vacation to a dude ranch. There was a dining room with a huge communal table. If someone (usually my dad) was caught with their elbows on the table, the entire dining room would loudly chant: Jimmy Jimmy, if you're able, Get your elbows off the table! This is not a horse's stable, but a high class dining room! UP! UP! UP! UP! Which they would continue to scream until the offender stood up on his chair & did a little dance of shame.

Of course the tradition carried on, and I was always subjected to this public shaming. Needless to say, I grew up being taught that elbows NEVER go on the table.

I know it's terrible. I know it! And I agree that it is, but sometimes (often), I let find myself putting elbows on the table. It's a terrible habit.

Unless the "table" is a precariously balanced board, I don't see why not. The only time I avoid it is when we're at a restaurant with a group and the table is so covered with dishes there's no elbow room.

I worked for several years with a woman who flossed her teeth at the table after lunch every day, so the elbow issue seems pretty minor. There are a lot of worse things to do at the table than this.

In a formal setting, never. I always forget though.

I think it's fine in between courses or at the end of a meal when everyone is just relaxing and chatting.

@nannypoo Ha, I can relate to that! I have a gap between two of my morals and so I'm always itching to floss as soon as I'm done eating. However, I would never! floss AT the table or in front of others; that's absolutely disgusting to me.

Absolutely not when there is still food on the table. Once the dishes are cleared and we're just sitting around chatting, then elbows are OK.

My elbows don't end up on the table often because my parents were very strict about the no elbows on the table thing but it seems like a stupid rule - if a table is crowded or wobbly leaning on it with any body part is inconsiderate, but that's common sense.

My parents were also strict about putting napkins in laps, to the extent that I still put little paper fast food napkins in my lap if that's all that is available.

@whatyousay - I know you meant "gap between two of my molars," but thinking about a gap between your morals made me laugh out loud!

seems a bit silly unless you're trying to present yourself as proper and formal to someone, but generally i'm eating with people i'm relaxed around. my dad always tried to yell at us about it but his argument was severely undermined by my mother sitting right next to him leaning on her elbows too :-)

I agree with @mpheels, once the food is gone and relaxation sets in, I see little reason why elbows should not be on the table. However, if food is on then I get distracted by them. The worst infraction is when elbows are kept on the table while holding cutlery, and knives and forks are waved around like they're bringing a plane to landing. Of course, elbows pale into insignificance when someone is chewing with their mouth open!

I was taught to keep my elbows off the table and it must have been deeply ingrained because it actually feels uncomfortable to put my elbows on the table. In a more casual setting I really don't mind if people rest their elbows on the table before, after, or between courses as long as they are wearing sleeves that cover their elbows Really! Have you seen some peoples' elbows? YUCK! I wouldn't want them anywhere near the table, much less on it. :D

When we were kids, my dad was strict about no elbows on the table. I still try to follow the rule, but I think in casual settings it's not really a big deal if they are on the table.

I think this is one of those rules where its intent has gotten lost. As I see it, the point is to not slouch and block peoples' eye lines if they're trying to talk around you.

If the people on either side of me are trying to talk and I'm slumped forward, they have to lean back to be able to talk. I think we've all played that game where someone keeps slouching forward and then sitting back, and you have to bob back and forth to keep up with the conversation.

I try to sit up straight if there are conversations going on around me like that, but otherwise it's normal to want to lean in a little. There are so many other rude things people can do at the dinner table that this just seems like a silly thing to worry about.

Such a ridiculous rule. I like it when people put their elbows on the table because they tend to appear (and actually be) more engaged in the conversation. Elbows-off-the-table translates as proper-and-BORING to me (why don't we all just talk about the weather and then go home and pop pills to combat our repression related depression).

I find it humorous that those who are most scornful of the conventional manners assume that those of us who do practice good table manners must be repressed and depressed (and popping pills no less!)

Emily Post was famous for putting her elbows on the table so why not!? Actually, like many others, my opinion is that it is ok as long as there is no food on the table. Before and after being served I think its perfectly ok to prop your elbows up while talking to your table mates (as long as your face isn't being blocked). Etiquette is not about formality and rules so much as it is about making others feel comfortable and respected (and not grossed out in the case of dining). Elbows on the table is far better than talking with ones mouthful or pointing cutlery at someone while talking to them. And, honestly if mate dinner mates were offended by something so minor and harmless I think I would just find new friends.

Its also better than flossing ones teeth...hahaha. That's so horrible!

Bad manners are never in fashion.

My mother and others fussed about it, but why not? It seems like a pointless rule. Feet, no. Elbows, why not, enjoying a relaxing post-dinner conversation? Does anyone know its origin?

From a quick browse through the Web: This rule has medieval origins, with reasons ranging from hygiene to hogging space. I wonder how many people who wouldn't think of resting an elbow on the table would answer a phone call or text... ?

The only time I notice/am put off by elbows on table is if someone is holding utensils at the same time. It makes them look careless and somehow just seems uncouth. But otherwise, I couldn't care less about elbows, during the meal or not.

I find the notion that the time for eating and the time for relaxing are separate things absurd and sad. There are occasions where that is the case, but I hope to god I never let my house become a place where you can't relax at the family meal.

We grew up with this rule at our dinner table and I've always abided but never understood the reason. It's not like I'm laying my head down on the table or anything. But it's ingrained now and if I catch myself doing it I feel a jolt of oops!

My husband used to work with a guy that would take his false teeth out at the end of a restaurant meal, dunk them in his water glass and then pick at them with a toothpick before popping them back in his mouth - kid you not. Elbows on the table seems rather charming after that.

of course after dinner... but really?! like you need help to support yourself while you are eating!? I think it's rude! I tell my son that if he is so tired that he needs to rest on his elbow then it must be time for BED!

Lol @ elliejeannie: I've found bedtime is a surefire cure for lack of table manners:)

All joints left on the table will be carved.....

The french do it only when they sip their wine casually and when they put down their silverware momentarily (or when they are finished eating) to chat. It is the country where I went to the most formal dinner parties and family dinners, so I always just go by that.