There's an etiquette question in DIY circles that not everyone is familiar with: when gifted with a jar of homemade jam, pickles or other preserves, should you return the jar when you are done? Read on for my take on this gifting dilemma.
A few years ago, I received some beautiful apricot jam in a fancy European canning jar from a friend. Later I found out she was miffed that I hadn't returned the jar when I was done. So now, when receiving a jar of homemade preserves, after I thank the giver I always ask "Do you want the jar back?" They almost always say no, but it's a simple question that covers all the bases, just in case.
Part of the reason people may want the jars back is that some canning jars are expensive. There's a big difference in prices of preserving jars. You can get them almost free at yard sales and thrift stores, buy them in bulk at the feed store, or pay quite a bit for fancy imported varieties. I would be surprised if people wanted that 1/2 pint Ball jar back, but one of those expensive Weck or Kilner jars might be a different story.
Personally, when giving jams and preserves as a gift, I always consider the jar a part of a gift. I usually use the inexpensive Ball jars but when I splurge and pick up something fancier, I factor in that I won't get the jar back. So for that reason, I often save the fancy jars for a special preserve, enjoying the fact that the gift will continue to be a part of someone's life after the food is gone. I also consider who I am giving the preserves to. If I know it's someone who isn't that into canning and would likely toss the jar, then I stick with the cheaper, less fancy model.
When I'm on the receiving end, my favorite way to work with this situation is to return the jar to the original giver full of my own preserves. Etiquette dilemma solved!
Related: Five Extra-Pretty Canning Jars
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I find it is simplest if the jar is part of the gift. Sometimes I get jars back, sometimes I don't. The best is when I get the jar back with a request to fill it again - what a nice compliment!
I also consider the jar part of the gift, when I'm giving or getting. I would be pretty shocked to find out someone was miffed at me for that!
i love giving the jams and pickles i make as gifts! when i give them away as a "formal gift" i don't expect the jars back. but when i have extra of something and offer it to a friend i usually ask for the jars back just because they're pricy. i agree with fabricwench - it's a great thing when people request more!
I always appreciate getting jars back, but I don't really mind if people don't return them. That said, I usually only give things away in jars I'm willing to part with. I give a lot of home canned good to my siblings and parents. None of them are canners, so I have let them know that I'll take the jars back since I know otherwise they'd just end up in the recycling bin. They are always happy to return jars for refills!
I think I need to do a better job communicating re: my jars. I appreciate getting them back, tho it rarely, if ever, happens. If they get re-used, great, but my guess is that they're just ending up in the recycling. It may not be a huge expense to continually buy new jars, but it definitely adds up!
For me it depends on the situation. I have a friend who loves canning and will bring me a jar or two of whatever she's made recently on an almost weekly basis. I always make a point to return her jars, because I know how many she goes through, and because I know if I return them they'll soon be given back to me filled with something delicious! However, if I receive a canned good that is clearly a gift, like a jar of jam at Christmas with a ribbon on it, I don't feel it's necessary to return the jar to the giver.
I came here to say what @wozlig said.
I have never even thought of returning the jar. But I also don't get gifted anything In a jar!
I was just talking to my husband about this very topic this morning. I do get a little miffed that I don't get the jars back, hardly ever. It shouldn't be a big deal, even for the cheapest of jars. I know this. But I still get a little miffed. I'm cheap. But I also hate to see something put into a recycle bin/trash when it can go to someone who will use it.
And, you return the jars, you are more likely to keep getting tasty treats.
I made a bunch of mini pies in 4oz jam jars for a party and several guests took leftovers home with them. Months later I only got jars returned from one guest. I wish I had made a point of asking for the jars back when they were emptied. Sure, it's only $8 for a dozen jars, but it stinks to have to make that investment multiple times, especially if they were thrown away or tossed in the recycling bin. Maybe I'll make some cute "Return for Refill" stickers for the bottoms of the jars next time--subtle but should do the trick.
I guess I'm the only one who feels this way, but that seems a bit ridiculous to expect a jar back. (And incredibly petty to get upset if you don't get it back.) When giving a gift, you're not suppose to inconvenience the person you give the gift to!
I don't expect jars or any other containers back. However, if someone gives me a gift of food, I return the container full. For example, if someone gives me homemade jam, I might return the jar filled with homemade pesto. I never return an empty container, it seems strange to me.
If you give someone a tin of cookies, do you expect the tin back? If you give someone a present in a nice $3 gift back, do expect the gift bag returned? If it's a gift don't get miffed!
If you are just "sharing" some of your jam with other people, then that's another story and you should ask for the jar back at that time to make things clear.
I always give the jar back. I don't make jam. What am I going to do with it?
never thought of returning or having jars returned, but most of the food "gifting" that happens 'round here is swapping so i probably get my jars "back" in a round-about sense. and to those that do get miffed, than a simple note or verbal cue that says to return for re-use rather than recycling would do the trick.
Garma: Garden karma. What goes around comes around. Give joyfully, don't expect it back, be grateful when it happens, pass it on.
When I give a (food) gift, I don't think of the jars as anything other than part of that gift. However, I would much rather get the jars back than have them thrown away - which is what happened before I told people that those jam jars could be reused. I think people tend to throw them away out of habit; my friends are not "foodies"!
It would never occur to me to make a point of returning a particular Ball jar to a particular person --- though I'd be happy to if asked! But they never, ever end up in the recycling bin at my house. I use Ball jars all the time in my kitchen; though I don't can, they're handy for mixing dressings, storing leftovers or dry goods, or for freezing staples.
I also use them to pack my own gifts of food. If you give me a jar of jam, you're likely to get back a jar full of spiced nuts or homemade candy or hot fudge sauce pretty soon.
My grandmother never said much when she gifted homemade jelly. It was understood that if you liked the jelly and wanted more, you'd return the empty jar or a jar. That idea is not apparently intuitive in many people. She overheard a neighbor commenting on all the empty clean jars that he had eaten, and loved jelly, but folks stopped gifting them jelly. She pointed out that costs of the fruit if purchased, sugar when purchased, pectin if purchased, and the jars and lids. Small town, retired folks, etc. Person sent six jars back to every gifter in town and had a sudden flood of new jellies to try.
Had never occurred to that giftee that the gifts cost more than time and the giver's understood effusive thanks + empty jars = "more, please".
Many folks had trash pits for burning trash on designated days, so the city dump didn't exit and filling a trash pit was an issue on personal property. Others were from a "waste not/want not" generation as well.
To me, sending the empties back when possible, is a good way to recycle the jars into new gifts for me or other folks. I, like Elsa, have been known to return the jars with something else edible inside.
As a canner, I consider the jar part of the gift, and I don't expect to get it back (whether it's a cheap Kerr jar or a nice Weck one). If I cared so much, I would keep it to myself. I find, however, that I often get the jars back (yay!), and that once people know I can things, I even get jars back that were from other things (like storebought/farmer's-market-bought items packaged in canning jars).
Interestingly, @iab, I would expect the tin back if I gave someone a tin of cookies, but I would be sure to say so when I delivered them.
coming from a family that loves to can applesauce, peaches, and chili sauce as well as make freezer jam - it is a well ingrained notion that all jars will be returned once finished in time for the giver in question to refill the following season. If one wishes to contribute a new package of lids or rings, sugar or even fruit the following season when returning the jars smiles and thanks will be given.
Nothing is more upsetting than getting ready to make strawberry jam and having no jars. And no one wants to get a kindly call asking how many empty jars might be residing in their laundry room/ basement/ cupboard.
Perhaps I don't run in the right circles, but I would be shocked to find out that someone who was supposed to be a friend was angry with me for failing to return gift packaging. I give a lot of gifts, and I've never expected anyone to return the box, bag, wrapping paper, bow, or other container it was delivered in. I sometimes choose expensive containers, like an antique chest or hollow book, and I've never expected those back, either - they're part of the gift, for heaven's sake.
I also don't invoice my friends for shipping costs when I send them a package (even the $50+ it costs to ship to Aussie friends), feud with sick or bereaved loved ones who fail to hand over florist's vases, or demand the return of greeting cards for reuse. If someone is in such dire straights - or so obsessed with money - that the cost of a glass jar is sufficient cause to damage a friendship, they should probably forgo the jellies and wish well with phone calls. Collect, of course.
I'm not expecting them back, and I never thought about it until you posted that question. I suppose it would be nice once in a while, if only because I use and re-use a lot of jars to store stuff from sea salt to beans to barley, etc. But really if I give away homemade jam or cured olives, the container goes with the filling.
It's like giving someone a present in a gift bag and the expecting to get the gift bag back.
You have mentioned Ball Jars...Here in Germany there is no possibility to get Ball or Kerr Jars. They are totally beautiful and I would love to live in the US to get these quilted jars right from the store...So I would just want to get them back to give another filled jar to the person that is returning the jar to have a cicle of full/empty jars going. If anybody outside the US is reading this, do you have any suggestions where to get these Ball Jars (especially in Germany) with low import costs (Ball is not shipping them internationally). Thanks a lot in advance!
I don't expect to get my canning jars back when I give people canned goods. But I do sometimes let them know, especially if the food isn't specifically a gift. That you are more likely to get more food items randomly from me if you do return the jars.
Maybe cityfolk don't know that canning jars should be returned or expect them to be returned, but I grew up on a farm and that was always the expectation. Times change, I suppose, as as have the demographics of those who can, but returning jars is a simple way of reducing waste. It's a charming custom that, with all of the talk of sustainability, deserves to be revived. It's also a great excuse to see your friend again.
PS Canning jars aren't akin to gift bags. The former are things of utilitarian beauty, and their contents are made with love, care, and hard work. The latter are hideous bits of nonsense that say, I didn't care enough to actually wrap this present.
i totally agree with Justin - really....expecting the jar back! if its so precious - keep it with you and you can reuse it. Its a different case with friends/ family whom you see almost everyday and are giving some stuff that you may have made extra of or its a casual exchange! really....
In some cultures, people might be offended to be given an empty jar back. Fill it up before returning.
I consider the jar as part of the gift and I would never think to give it back unless a fancy weck or something. But I do collect them and over time, drop them off to one of the farmers at the farmer's market. That is a happy face!
People aren't mind readers. If you want the jar back, you have to ask. I tell people to keep the jar unless they want to give it back for a refill.
I always consider it part of the gift, whether giving or getting. Honestly, I would think it was weird if someone gave me back the jar. And they aren't really that expensive unless you get fancy ones.
I'd love to get them back if they didn't want to keep them and use them themselves, but I don't expect it. It's a gift, and the jar's part of it. I usually say I'm happy to take the jar back when it done, if you don't want it when I give a jar of jam, and some folks are very prompt getting them back (in hopes of my refilling them) and others I don't hear from or about it again.
I must say though, if you give me back an empty jar, you are definitely going to get another batch much sooner than someone who never mentions it again.
That's so cute how people think that if you don't give the jar back, you're being wasteful. Because of course, no one other than the original canner has ever reused a jar. Certainly no recipient of canned goods has ever reused a jar for anything.
Here's a thought: if you want a jar back, say so. It's not the recipient's fault if you don't communicate well.
And Polygala: "Cityfolk?" Seriously? You're not better than anyone else for living on a farm, so I suggest you dial back the attitude.
i was reading through all this and just kept thinking, "PEOPLE RECYCLE THEIR JARS? OR THROW THEM OUT???"
jars are such a precious commodity in my house--when i get preserves i am often as excited about a new jar as i am about the jam! i have never considered returning jars, and never expect mine to be returned when i give presents in them.
Your friend is ridiculous, maybe revaluate that whole situation.
To answer your questions: no, of course not, and I'd never be pretentious AND cheap enough to demand people return my fancypants European jars either.
@Polygala: thanks for speaking for all us non "city folk" who have no idea what the hell you're talking about.
I think we live in a society where we generally view things and especially containers as disposable and don't really think about reuse. I also think this depends on whether you view the jar as a specific tool or a decorative item.
The snide comments from people about returning jars to someone who has taken the time to give them something homemade makes me very sad. How dare you give me a gift and be tacky enough to think I should return the jar? What's wrong with you? That's a little much.
The gift is the time and love I put into making something I hope you would enjoy. Returning an empty jar says 1. I loved and used what you gave me and 2. I want to encourage you to keep making stuff.
I don't think about this a lot but my general thinking is that if you live in town, know you well, and see you regularly you should return the jars. I think if you are a person that cans regularly you can go through SOOO many jars. Yet, the jars are completely reuseable! Why not return the jar to me so it can get maximum use? With my parents I have the perfect system -- I often take them things in a variety of containers. My mom washes all the containers and puts them on top of the fridge. I'll get a bag full of the containers from her once the pile builds up.
I don't know if its a city/country divide. I'm a city girl, but grew up blue collar. I never talk to people about returning jars/containers they just do.