It's pretty much a given that there will be music at a cocktail or dance party but what about at more intimate gatherings such as a dinner parties? Do you like to have music playing or do you find it too distracting?
For me, music is an important part of the overall atmosphere of a party and I believe it has a huge impact on mood. If possible, I like my dinner party music to reflect the stages of my party, from lively pre-dinner cocktails to something more quiet and in the background during dinner. If I want the party to continue I may bring back the lively stuff for dessert but if the opposite effect is desired, I might slow it down even further to encourage people to wrap it up.
Of course, adding the task of creating a playlist onto an already packed pre-dinner party schedule can border on ridiculous but there are solutions. In my household, the playlist is often given to the non-cook who can spend as much time crafting the perfect musical experience as I can crafting the perfect meal. Or if I have a music lover coming to the party, I see if they would like to provide the music. Some people just love to create the perfect playlist and would jump at the opportunity.
Another popular choice is to check out sites like 8-Track where people who geek-out on such things post their custom playlists. A flew minutes poking around should reward you with a handful of excellent, true-to-you compilations. Spotify is another popular place to find pre-made playlists or to quickly create your own. And of course a few minutes creating a Pandora station is an easy way to bring a certain mood to your gatherings.
You can also create a few 'for dinner parties' playlists from your own archives on a quiet evening when you have some time to spare. Like your better dishes and not-too-stained cloth napkins, you can pull it up when ever you have a party planned and just hit shuffle. Most music players come with a small, discreet remote which you can keep tucked next to your plate for quick fast-forwarding action should something inappropriate come on.
How do you feel about music at your dinner parties? Is it essential or the last thing you would bother with? What are your solutions to creating the perfect playlist for your gatherings?
Related: My Top 10 Tips for Hosting a Dinner Party
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Of course! It doesn't matter if its just a family gathering, one with friends, or even a kids birthday party-music is ALWAYS in the background.
Music is definitely an essential part of all my parties - dinner or otherwise. We've had a Valentine's Day dinner party for the past 5+ years and that playlist is pretty set. I just add new music as I find it. We also have a set 'party music' playlist, that I also update as needed or as the mood strikes. But for regular dinner parties, we tend to play a mix of jazz cds (mostly mid-tempo) throughout the entire evening. I don't want anything that might compete with good conversation!
We don't even have small family dinners at home without turning on some music. People (my impatient brother) are more likely to sit and chat when there's music on. Otherwise, the quiet makes him feel like it's time to get up. It's like a Pavlovian response.
I feel like Graceland is always in the stereo at my parents house.
I like to have Pandora on in the background. It is easy to set up before guests arrive and then you don't have to worry about it all night long. For dinner, we usually have the volume pretty low so I barely notice the commercials.
Always! I usually task the husband with creating a playlist if I want something more thoughtfully curated but I'm also fine playing it fast and loose with the music as well (hooking up the i-pod, putting on some vinyl to suit the mood, letting guests pick something out, or throwing a few CDs into the player). The only thing I can't stand is a totally quiet background. It feels like dead air to me. And no music in the background makes lulls in the conversation feel worse.
I've especially noticed this since my FIL's wife doesn't put on music during gatherings and it makes our family get-togethers feel a bit empty and cold (unlike my dear departed MIL who always had some sort of music playing softly in the background).
Interesting...I never have music playing for dinner parties, though I can see where that would be nice (as long as it was kept at a low volume so people could talk). I am always a little self-conscious about my music tastes (I'm not exactly up on all of the newest "cool" bands), so I'm never confident enough to make a playlist for guests. If I played anything it would just be a Pandora station.
Of course!
I also use Pandora - I can run it right from the whole-house audio system I had put in when I bought my house, which has been worth every penny. I sometimes create a playlist, but usually I'm too lazy.
Yes on Pandora, for all the reasons mentioned above!
My husband is usually in charge of the music. He's pickier than I am, so it works out well. We have a decent collection of classical/acoustic music that offer a nice, soft background without overpowering the conversation.
Always. Classical or soft jazz. Jazz piano is especially nice. Unless its pizza or barbecue in which case livenening it up a bit is appropriate.
@misplacedtexan - If you're self-conscious you can always just keep the volume low. Most people having a great time don't think about what's playing in the background anyway. I just find it nice to have at least a bit of music to serve as a backdrop.
@misplacedtexan & @slow lorus – I have probably the lamest music taste ever, and I second the suggestion to keep the volume down. I've found it makes a difference just to have something playing, even if no one is listening to it because it's more on the subconscious level.
We rarely even listen to music and with the din of conversation the music is like just one more person chatting and is not even noticed. If it's a quiet dinner, it might be on low, but during the summer we open the screened windows and enjoy the crickets and wind chimes instead.
I'm not a big music person in general but I always try to have some background music playing. It boosts the energy at a party. Otherwise, every pause in the conversation seems like a deadly silence that must be filled. :D
I like soft rock, jazz, blues, "latin/world" music (Cesaria Evora, Pink Martini, Ottmar Liebert), stuff like that. If you don't know what's popular or hip, you can always see what's playing at someplace like Starbucks or a cool store that sells music CDs. And if your taste is different than other people's, isn't that a good thing?
I try to, but inevitably, the men turn the music off and the TV on. Once it's on, they don't shut it off. I have to ask my husband BEFORE company gets there if we can not turn the television on until after dinner. Our problem is we don't have a dining table big enough for even four people so we gather around the big coffee table which, alas, is in front of the TV. It really bugs me, but I try not to make an issue of it every time our friends come over. Next time, however, I believe I will insist on REAL board games to get everyone involved with one another. I miss when people actually conversed rather than gather to sit in front of a screen with no talking whether at a movie or TV at home.
ALWAYS. My boyfriend has a great record collection and always has something on. I find it slightly awkward when we go to other people's dinner parties and there is no background music.
Pandora is great, no fussing with playlists. We turn on a Brazilian music channel (Tribalistas, Seu Jorge, Djavan, Marisa Monte, something along those lines) and let it run at low volume. Nothing is worse than the absolute silence when guests first dig in to their food, the music fills the gap to make the transition from chatting to mealtime less awkward. Plus, people feel more at ease to talk when they aren't breaking a silence.
We almost always have music playing at an appropriate level for whatever is going on during the day (outdoor BBQ, indoor meal, outdoor yard games, etc.). I think it helps people loosen up when there is some background noise. I would much prefer music over the TV when it comes to background noise also.
When we go to my mom's house, she almost never ever has music playing. She just finds it more peaceful to sit and talk in a quiet house, which I know drives my husband crazy. Similarly, we have some (loud, talkative) friends who never play music at their house, even though we are usually doing casual, indoor-outdoor stuff. It's almost a blessing because when there has been music, they have felt the need to increase their talking volume.
I never thought of someone being self conscious about their taste in music, so maybe that has something to do with it. Good insight!
Overall: Yes for music. No for people shouting over each other to be heard over the music.
Lucky for us, Seattle's public radio plays an awesome Saturday night show that is perfect dinner music: http://www.kuow.org/swing_years.php
We love eating on our back yard deck in the summer with these old tunes floating in the air. You can always stream it too.
Always have music on when I have guests over...fairly low volume. It adds to conversation--since my tastes are pretty eclectic...and the music covers my clanging & groaning in the kitchen. Either a Pandora channel or my starred list from Spotify. Sometimes, if there is a theme like Cinco De Mayo...I pepper insome more latin tunes...more Irish ballads for St Pats...etc.
Sewtrashy, try putting a few seats in front of the TV, facing the couch. That's what I've done for parties. Combined with turning music on low, it creates an environment more condusive to conversation. Board games are another good idea.
We always put Pandora on with some quiet jazz. It's probably the least offensive music I can think of (in that nobody I've met really *hates* jazz the same way they might hate another genre), and it's a little more fun and party atmosphere than classical would be.
No music during dinner parties. We're not really set up for music outside of the living room and studio. But aside from location issues, music isn't generally background noise.
Dance music during a party is another thing... bring it on!
@Sewtrashy, you have my sympathies. My friends are all super into TV, so any time we're hanging out it seems like that's the default activity. So boring. I watch plenty of TV myself, but that's not why I go to parties. Having seats facing away from the TV is a great idea. Or just unplug the stupid thing and tell them to lump it, haha. (Don't really tell anyone to lump it, obviously. Although I admit, I am sometimes tempted!)
I use Pandora or occasionally make playlists myself, if I'm feeling sassy. I'm definitely going to try 8-Track, though! Pandora can be a very mixed bag.
In the age of the iPod and other functions that make music selection so easy, setting up a playlist seems like a cost-free, efficient way to provide better hospitality. Pandora is perfect for exploring on your own time, but how much better to give your guests the gift of your taste: "I didn't know you liked this band!" "The first time I heard this song was on our trip to Brazil." "You and I have such similar tastes."
Otherwise, the conversation is more likely to be: "Oh, I really like this song -- who is it?" "I have no idea. I just let Pandora play whatever. You know, since it's just you."