My OCD comes in the way of accepting any such offers... By now my close friends know they can hang around and gossip, while I do the clearing up. i love that arrangement. Weird but true for me..

Yes, I do... because I would rather have them help clean-up than to have them milling about while I'm preparing the food. This way, they fell like they've contributed to the evening, and it's a nice way to socialize as well.

Plus, I hate doing dishes. So this really helps with the rule of "if I cook, I don't clean" :)

It depends: if it is family or my bestie, then I have no problem with them helping. But the type-A in me also doesn't mind doing it myself provided I have someone to sit at the bar and chatting with me while I keep busy. Either/or work for me.

"the inedible offer?" :)

Absolutely not. A guest is a guest.

I hate doing the dishes. If anyone offers to help, I'm all for it. That being said - If I'm at someone's house for dinner, I always help with dishes.

I prefer to cook solo, but when it comes to doing dishes and packing up the leftovers, the more the merrier. I really only entertain good friends and family, so if any one of them wants to help me clean up, I'm all for it!

I don't mind the help but when it actually creates more work for me, I'd prefer my guests just relax and enjoy themselves.

A friend helped clean up after the Super Bowl yesterday and ended up putting a large handful of forks all in the same compartment in the dishwasher with dried, crusted food stuck on as she didn't even rinse them off! That's the kind of help I would gladly refuse :-)

I hate doing the dishes so I always refuse when anyone offers to help, that way I don't feel bad when I don't offer in return. selfish I know, but I'm completely honest about it - so I'm ok with it. The same also goes for moving and painting. I won't ask you to help me to do either, please, in return don't ask me to help you.

If someone offers, I have no problem with them helping clean the dishes. I just ask that they put the cleans on a spot on the counter so I can put them away the way I like it. It's always a good time chatting about the evening when people help to clean-up.

If it is family, absolutely, otherwise no, but I welcome the company.

Depends on
- how much washing up there is
- how much I'm enjoying the company (sometimes I just wanna be alone afterwards)

Hell yes I accept help. Especially when I'm a guest, I would rather help out and be doing something than sitting and being waited on...just feels weird to me...so I figure everyone else feels that same way.

Like others and you Dana, It depends on several factors.

I really enjoy the meditation of washing, however, and it's usually the perfect way for me to "wind down" after a party or gathering. Sometimes winding down involves a close friend, but usually I prefer it to be just me and the suds.

I'm OK with someone helping me clear the table, but I never take the time to do the dishes when company's here, I'd much rather socialize at the table and have a long leisurely conversation. I honestly don't think I'm being a good host if I'm more concerned about cleaning up than ensuring that the evening is fun.

Now if it's just me and house guests, I accept their help, but I generally will put all the wrapping gear out and ask them to put the leftover food in the fridge while I hand wash a few dishes (copper drink tumblers, cooking knives) and slip the dishes into the dishwasher. We're usually done at the same time and can head back to the table or living room for more conversation.

My friends and I are all in our late very late 20s. I dunno if it's an age thing, but whenever we have something at our place, they all insist on helping with cleaning up the tables and the dishes. I have this one friend who's always do the dishes without me ever knowing because I was so busy entertaining and picking up!

If it were a formal dinner with my parents or his parents or someone older, I would not allow them to help clean up.

I hate doing the dishes so a little help is always appreciated. On the plus size, that's what my dishwasher usually is there for. :)

It depends on why the guests are there. If they're just dinner guests, I'd refuse offers of help and do them myself (ususally after they leave). If they're overnight guests, I'll probably refuse offers of help for the first few meals, but maybe accept one or two later in their stay when I'm getting worn down from the extra company.

I want that dishrack.

Anita83: Maybe it is an age thing. When I was a student, it was always more like sharing a meal than actually inviting people. Now I'm older I feel more like a host (and I've got a dishwasher), so as a rule I don't let guests help with the dishes, even if they are close friends.

I'm with Joan A., I want that dish rack in the photo. I'm thinking I could make my own with some wooden dowels. I love the idea of having my pretty dishes permanently displayed and being able to put my dishes away wet and they can just drip dry.

no, i hate help with the dishes; in my mind, I can do it faster, better and with less water than anyone else. My boyfriend knows he can help clear the table and then keep me company.

The downside of not letting anyone help, for me at least, I often forget to offer help when I am some where else.

I expect help from family, whether I want it or not, because that's the way all our get togethers went: everybody ate and contributed to the mess, so everyone helps clean up.

However, I prefer to do the dishes myself. Otherwise, I just end up having to rewash many items (OCD when it comes to clean dishes), and honestly, it's a peaceful thing to do on my own following a dinner party. If my guests are really insistent, I let them help, but it's not my preference.

I can't imagine being asked to do the dishes in someone else's home (except maybe my parents' or siblings') so I would never even consider allowing a guest to do dishes in mine. Even if they offered, I would politely turn them down--I'm the sort to enjoy the party and leave clean up for the next morning, though. Parties are the one time I allow myself to go to bed with a dirty kitchen.

Only if its immediate family (mom, sister, in-laws) or a VERY close friend. E.g., my boyfriend's best friend (they've been best friends for over 20 years) helps with the dishes when he comes over. But I guess he's kind of like family. :)

I prefer to do it myself. I don't like putting guests to work. However, when I'm at someone else's house, I love to help them! I'm trying to accept help more, especially with those friends who we are quite close to. I want them to feel appreciated and part of the family. I think we can try to do too much without help from others. We must all remember we can benefit from allowing other to give back to us.

i prefer to do them myself - i have a particular order of dish washing. it's when i don't need the help, i've already thanked my guest for the offer, the guest continues to insist that i feel like i'm being put out in my home.

I do a bit of 50/50 - If someone asks, I'll ask for help in loading the dishwasher and putting away any leftovers, but all the pots, pans, etc. that need to be handwashed just get thrown in the sink to soak until later

It depends on who and what's going on. If it's that inevitable last person there (usually the closest friend, or family) and we're looking for something to do with our hands, we'll hit the kitchen and talk over some dishes. But it's never more than one other person - my kitchen can't take it!

I do take them up on other little chores, though. If they want to gather wine glasses, or napkins.. or if they wouldn't mind keeping everyone out of the kitchen. :) No offer goes unappreciated! There's always plenty to do.

I really appreciate it when guests help clear the table, but I don't want them to help with the actual washing up--they are my guests! I do my best to have as much of the washing up done before anyone shows up for dinner--makes it much easier to just clean up and go to bed.

With our impossibly tiny kitchen, I don't even let guests help clear the dishes, much less wash them. We two sinks but only a tiny strip of counter space, so I have to stack things strategically in order to have room to get things cleaned up. I'm quite firm about it because (though I wouldn't be so frank with guests) that "help" isn't actually helpful.

Even when I had a larger kitchen, I discouraged guests from doing more that carrying a few token dishes to clear the table. I'd much rather lounge over coffee or a last drink with guests than do dishes with them.

At family gatherings where I'm often cooking the meal in someone else's larger kitchen? I not only allow them to help, I'll sometimes step out so they can take over clean-up entirely. (It's never too onerous since I wash prep dishes as I go.) It took me years --- and I mean years --- to learn that it's okay to do that.

I used to always insist my friends sit down and relax and let me do the work. These days? If someone offers to help, I can always find something I need done.

I find that if I only have a couple people over, it's a great way for us to continue our conversation. At larger parties, it's a moment for my closest friends and I to catch up. And in the end, the cleaning is finished twice as fast and I can't complain about that.

After a dinner party I NEED to the time alone to do dishes. Introvert life!

Never. I have people over as guests and don't expect them to work for their meal. Also, I like to do the clean up myself (with the hubster's help); we have our way of doing things and it is a good chance to review the evening.

I don't really host formal dinners, so people carry their plates back to the kitchen when they're done. I'd rather pack the dishwasher myself, but my guest are welcome in the kitchen, though I live in a university town, so most of my friends are or were recently students.

If I hosted a formal sit-down dinner, I'd stack the dishes out of sight and clean up when they left.

I just moved closer to family. I will help clean up at my parent's house, but at my in-laws, we have a rule. I don't want to help clean up when I come to your house, and I don't want you to help me clean up when you come to my house. And I tend to spread the rule with friends, I'd rather be in the kitchen cleaning up by myself after everyone leaves...or will leave it till tomorrow.

Never.

It usually depends on what kind of gathering it is, but since most of the time it's my closest group of friends over for dinner, I have no problem accepting the help. Since right now I'm just a couple of years out of college, my guests are usually people who I've either lived with for a number of years, have spent many a night crashing on my couch/floor/bed with me or spent 12 hours watching reality TV in our pajamas together. To refuse help from them would be a kind of a weird formalization of our relationships, and I like the idea of keeping that kind of closeness even as we move into our grownup lives. Even with less close friends, living without a dishwasher makes the offer pretty hard to refuse. 'd never ask if they didn't offer though. It also allows me to return the favor for them sometime.

never ever ever. I find that after a great dinner party or holiday dinner or even a huge party, I want to do it myself. It relaxes me and I reflect on the evening. One of my funny simple pleasures is doing it myself. Well my husband does help ;-)