Two weekends ago, in the backyard of a farmhouse in Central California, I got married. It was undoubtedly one of the happiest weekends of my life, but the wedding itself was also the most stressful, expensive, time-consuming, and labor-intensive parties I have ever thrown, in part because I took on a lot of cooking projects for the big day.
Some might call it crazy to make five pies, six quarts of Thai sweet chili sauce, and ten quarts of ginger simple syrup in the weeks leading up to a wedding, but I don't regret a moment. Here's why:
For me, cooking is a way of making connections with the people who eat the food I've made. An idea that springs up in my head and is created by my hands embodies, I believe, some essence of me by the time it ends up on the plate. So it was only natural that in the months leading up to an intensely personal celebration, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen.
I left the bulk of the reception meal in the very capable hands of our caterers and focused on three things I love experimenting with in the kitchen: condiments, cocktails and dessert. To accompany the Thai grilled chicken on the menu, I made sweet and garlicky Thai chili sauce. My friend and bridesmaid Jessica, the one-woman wonder behind SQIRL preserves, made a giant batch of peach and lemon verbena jam, and we spent an afternoon canning it together with another bridesmaid. For the signature cocktail, a rye whiskey and ginger beer concoction, I made an extra-spicy ginger simple syrup to mix with soda water, as a cheaper alternative to ginger beer. And over the course of several months, I made and froze five fruit pies, which were served for dessert, alongside an assortment of treats made by a handful of talented friends.
I may be ambitious, but I am no masochist; none of my projects required any prep on the day of the wedding and only one — the pies — needed any work in the week before the wedding. The jam was canned a month before, and the chili sauce and ginger syrup were made and refrigerated two weeks before the big day.
I'm not going to lie: it was a lot of work. And yes, I did contemplate throwing in the towel a few times, but in the end, seeing those I love best in this world eating, drinking, and enjoying a meal my friends and I helped to create was worth all the hard work. Could I have bought the chili sauce, the jam, the ginger beer, the pies? Yes, and it would have made my life a lot easier, but some meals are about much more than convenience. This was one of them.
Have you ever taken on a lot of cooking in preparation for a big event? Why do you make instead of buy?
Related: Home Cooking: The Homemade Wedding Cake
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Nothing says "I value your friendship" quite like serving some vaguely foodlike substance you got out of a box and microwaved.... :-p
Fortunately, most of my friends are foodies too, so any gathering we have, good food is a cornerstone.
My husband and I were married 2 weeks ago and we made ALL our own food. It was stressful, but not nearly as stressful as dealing with a massive amount of debt caused by paying for catering. We made Ethiopian food, which sounds intimidating but is not. It’s easy to prepare and can be made in advance, frozen and served buffet style. We also made our own cake, which was a fun and new experience.
Self catering can be done pretty easily when you take into consideration what can be made cheaply, deliciously, easily, and what can reasonably be served.
I cooked my wedding cakes!
I did it primarily because I did not enjoy wedding planning, and wanted one project that spoke to who I am. And I really enjoyed it! It made the process a lot more fun for me... though it was at times, a bear.
I canned 92 quarter pints of peach jam for wedding favors. All of the preserving was done by January for our May wedding and that was a huge relief. DIYing the flowers and decorations was hectic enough!
I made my wedding cakes, also. It was the first decision I made when beginning to plan.
Congratulations, Anjali! Your wedding sounds lovely! Best wishes for the years ahead!
We didn't have a very long engagement and so ended up buying all of the food for our wedding, but I insisted that we use local vendors (the cupcake people from the farmer's market, the friendly wine shop in our neighborhood, the little vegetarian caterer/sandwich shop) and that made me happy. If we had had more time, I would have liked to cook the whole thing (veggie lasagna, salad, garlic bread, and cake maybe?).
This is something I very much want to do, but know everyone will try to talk me out of it. At the very least, I want to contribute to a cookie table (not really a thing where I live, but my boy lives for cookies) and maybe make the cake(s)... Baking is kind of a zen activity to me, and I love the nearly instant gratification!
Last year my bridesmaids and I made the "wedding pies" for my wedding the day before the event. I know most people choose to go to the spa that day - but I can't tell you how much more relaxing and memorable it was to spend time with my girls making pie in my best friend's Grandma's kitchen that we grew up cooking in! Thanks for sharing!
I made 150 4oz jars of jam as favors for my wedding! It was exhausting, but was so appreciated byt the guest that I'm happy I did it. I recently volunteered to do cupcakes and/or sugar cookie favors for a freind wedding and am a bit petrified by the prospect of it but I know they'll love it!
What fat did you use in your vegan pie crust?
I commend all you self-catering, jam-making brides! My biggest regret about my wedding is that we did not make it more personal, especially the food. My husband and I got married on the other side of the country from where we live, so we had one week in the wedding city to pick the venue, flowers, food, etc. Unfortunately, it was just generic wedding food that said nothing about who we were, or that we love to cook and eat.
My sister is about to embark on this same adventure in May 2012. We both decided years ago that we were going to do all the food at our weddings non-catered. (or pot-luck.) Keep it simple to enjoy the day itself- and everything made with love. For her wedding, I'm in charge of making dozens and dozens of truffles. Congrats on you preparing well in advance- I hope I can do the same!
I love the idea of the couple being involved in the food preparation. To me it makes the wedding more about a couple welcoming friends and family into their new lives and makes them seem more like hosts of a party than stars of the show. It may not be realistic for everyone to make the deserts or cook the meal, but I think any small, personal touch is great.
My friend Andrea of forkableblog.com catered her entire wedding and wrote about it in her blog: http://forkableblog.com/?page_id=378
I saw good-luck to that. It is very possible to have great catering for a reasonable price. Save money by getting friends to help the buffet line or by having them do the cleaning. I just do not feel that the cost of stress is worth the financial cost.
There is a reason all of our parents used to go nutso during the holidays when making the BIG family dinner. just saying :)
Congrats though!
My son had an outdoor summer wedding and close friends of both families brought food items that were planned ahead of time. There were about 100 people attending and it was much less stressful for the bride to do it this way. Of course the wedding was not a formal one, but it was beautiful. Everyone was comfortable, ate well, and had a great time, kids included.
This summer I made 150 jars of apple butter as wedding favors for my best friend's wedding. It was nutty and took two full days, but it was a blast and we will both never forget it. Congrats on your DIY wedding!
Thanks for all the well wishes, everyone!
And @bens, I used Spectrum Organics shortening, and used the recipe for vegetable shortening crust in The Pie and Pastry Bible.
Congratulations!
We made our wedding invitations, food, wine and favors for our wedding 16 years ago this Friday.
A dear family friend offered their home for our wedding reception. We rented tables, chairs, glasses, cutlery. Ordered our favorite cake (make into a wedding cake - had it delivered).
Another friend, who is a lawyer (and photographer) took our wedding pictures (as our gift - very generous).
It was a wonderful day. Filled with people (120) and the food we love.
I and my sister made all the food for my wedding last year. It started out as an idea to save money since hubs and I wanted to pay for everything ourselves. But it turned into more than that, and it was incredibly rewarding to have people thank me personally for the food and to be able to say, with honesty, "you're welcome"!
My sister made our tiramisu wedding cake from scratch, people still talk about how amazing it tasted.
We bought dinner rolls, salad dressing, salad mix, but everything else was processed by someone in our family.
@carralovesyou - they will try to talk you out of it, but go with your heart, you'll remember the fun and experiences you had creating the homemade details. We did a pie bar at our wedding, with about 50% made by my family, husband, and myself, and 50% brought by close friends who wanted to do something to contribute. I even had a young bachelor friend who had never baked in his life contribute a pie, he was super proud and very excited to learn and contribute something handmade. The photos of all of the name tags next to the pies made by friends will stick with us forever.
Also, my mom was going crazy not feeling like she was involved or contributing enough since I had my wedding in the city I currently live in, not my home town, so she offered to make 150 mini jars of jams in an assortment of fall flavors (September wedding). It was such an amazing treat and helped her to feel connected to the process from afar.
One myth though, it's not necessarily cheaper, which is one of the main points a lot of friends and family members argued with us, saying we were crazy to add this unnecessary stress on ourselves and that we could afford a cake, yadda yadda. I wouldn't trade the slaved over pies and jams for a million bucks now that it's over!
I made a dozen and a half pies for my wedding two years ago, vegan and gluten free. My mom picked up local farm ice cream, and it was so awesome. I posted about it here. http://www.heythattastesgood.com/2009/06/wedding-berry-pies.html
Congrats! Sounds like the hard work paid off. It would be great to see your recipes, if you'd be willing to share...!
We also self-catered our New Year's Eve wedding, with the help of dear friends. Since my husband and I didn't do the cooking, it was a breeze for us :-) and an amazing gift from our loved ones. We sort of forgot about dessert until the last minute, at which point we sent a frantic e-mail soliciting cookies, brownies, and bars -- and again, our friends and family came out in full force. There's something to be said for sharing comforting, familiar food with the people you love most.
My wedding was about 2 months ago and I made my wedding cakes - along with a bunch of different treats that ended up in the bags for the out of town guests. The cakes were not traditional - a bit rustic, but completely delicious! My husband and I had to do a little work on them the day of the wedding (put the glaze and berries on) - but that was really the only stressful point - and even that wasn't too bad. Some family thought I was crazy for baking my own cakes - but in the end - everyone loved them and loved the personal touch they added to the wedding.
I'm getting married in 19 days in the North Georgia Mountains. So far i've diy-ed the invitations, programs, bridesmaids dresses, veil, and party florals. On my plate this week is making 8 vegan banana pecan loaves for welcome baskets and baking my wedding cake. Despite working for a caterer, I ordered barbeque from my favorite shack and am simply heating up some vegan sides. Hopefully, everything goes off without a hitch.
Congratulations! That sounds like such a wonderful experience, and I think you sound VERY smart for choosing to focus on the parts you enjoy the most instead of trying to do everything.
I'm getting married in January and only taking on the wedding cakes because I'd be totally overwhelmed doing anything more substantial for 150 people! I'm really looking forward to taste testing recipes and experimenting with freezing and frosting this fall, though, and I have a friend who has agreed to throw on the frosting and transport them to the venue on the day. If I find myself not totally overwhelmed, it would be nice to host a small cocktail party or something for out of town guests and make more appetizers and desserts, but one thing at a time!