There are two ways of thinking about the proper time to serve coffee and tea after a meal. The most formal and traditional way is to serve dessert first, followed by coffee once the dessert plates have been cleared. (This also used to be a signal that it was now OK for people to light up their cigarettes. Clearly, times have changed!)
The second, more casual possibility is to serve coffee/tea with the dessert. Many people like it this way because the coffee helps to cut some of the sweetness and richness of dessert. A second cup of coffee or even an after dinner drink can be served once the table is cleared.
I usually offer coffee with dessert since many people I know prefer it that way. And I offer it again after dessert just in case there are some traditionalists in the crowd. So I'm covered either way. One thing I don't do is serve coffee with the main meal, although friends have told me that they grew up with that practice, especially those from more rural areas.
When do you serve coffee and why? And when's the last time someone lit up a cigarette at your dinner table?
Related: Do you Drink with Your Meals?
(Image: Liberty Lady)
Bacsac Bacsquare 04...

My fiance drinks coffee 24/7 so when he has meals with me, coffee is served during the meal. I normally don't drink coffee with a meal unless we're dinning out or it's breakfast. When having a dinner party (which is rare due to my teeny tiny apt) coffee is always available but most will have it during dessert or afterward. My mother served coffee during meals if wanted as well.
Isn't coffee after dessert related to the fact that formal dinners usually involve a dessert wine pairing?
We always serve tea and coffee after dinner a little before we bring out dessert. If we're not entertaining and it's just the two of us, we always have tea (me) and coffee (husband) right after we eat. For us, the tea or coffee with sugar IS the dessert. This is just the way we were brought up and we've always done it this way without thinking about it.
I like it right after dinner. It helps get the digestion going. Then I offer to refresh the cups when dessert comes out.
I agree with Kiana; coffee/tea has always been served 5 minutes before dessert comes out. This is usually in an effort to gain a few minutes to tidy up a bit between dinner and dessert.
I usually serve it with desserts and try to have a cooled pot of espresso available as well in case some of my guests would prefer a chocolate espresso martini or similar with or instead of dessert
we usually have big multi - course dinners (if I am entertaining ... not for a normal dinner for the 2 of us of course) so usually we take a bit of a break to the LR /walk & stretch before dessert is served
If it's a casual lunch, I sometimes serve coffee with dessert (although coffee does not go well with fruity or creamy things). Sometimes I serve tea. For more formal dinners, I serve dessert followed by fruit, then coffee with sweets or chocolates.
We generally only serve coffee well before the meal and/or right after. Big coffee drinkers down in the South.
I always serve coffee with dessert and move the group to the living room. It's something my grandmother always did and it makes me feel quite grown-up and sofitsticated doing it myself. On a practical note, by having your guests in the living room for dessert and coffee there's no rush to tidy up the dining table.
Definitely after dessert ... Call me formal, but if u need coffee to cut the sweetness or richness of a dessert, then u need to work on making your dessert (gasp) lighter. Besides having dessert then coffee/tea then a little digestif just makes the evening stretch out longer, which should always be encouraged where we tend to eat thanksgiving dinner (our most celebrated annual meal) a 10 minute affair.
I've also found serving coffee/tea as its own 'course' allows u and your guests to try new something new that they normally wouldn't (like a new tea or a different way of making coffee beside drip).
Is such a worrying pause in the consumption of alcohol something to be wished?
We've written an entire guide to the subject of wine and the dinner-party, considered by two gentlemen who have drunk rather more of it than their wives think they ought - see http://t.co/GeAxp39e