A dinner party is a lot of work. The meal must be planned, shopped for, prepped, and cooked. The house must be cleaned, the table set, and music, flowers and other touches of ambiance must be arranged. When I was married, that's pretty much how the dinner party labor was divided: I handled the food, my husband cleaned. Is it that way in your household?
Now that I'm single, it all falls on me, and to be honest, the double labor of cooking and cleaning will sometimes keep me from throwing a party. Occasionally I get around this by having my apartment cleaned (luxury!) or hosting the evening with a friend. I also don't get too bent out of shape about it. If my place isn't perfectly spotless, my friends will understand. We're gathered to enjoy the food and each other's company, after all, so a few discreet dust bunnies won't stop the fun.
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My husband and I usually share both the housework and the cooking, though one of us may cook more than the other depending on the means of cooking (grilling/smoking vs cooking on the stove).
that's how we are, too.
There should be another option, for sharing both tasks. I would say that my husband and I share in both the cooking and the arranging, although we both have our specialties that we tend to focus on (both in terms of cleaning/straightening and what we take "point" on in the kitchen)
We both clean the house before people get here. I do the cooking, table arranging; he does the beer opening, wine-pouring and entertaining while I get food ready. And we usually hire someone to come and clean the dishes afterwards, because otherwise he gets stuck in the kitchen for an hour cleaning up while the rest of us enjoy each others' company- by the time he's done, everyone's ready to leave, and he's bummed :).
i'm with the first three commenters, where's the "we both do some of each" option?