Last week a New York-based photographer, Miho Aikawa, emailed me with a project that she wanted to share with our readers at The Kitchn: a photographic series exploring the way real people eat, and what their mealtime environments look like.
As I paged through the photographs of her project, titled Dinner in NY, I found myself face to face with young professionals, eating on their beds and watching television; a mother feeding her baby while Skyping with grandparents; an extended family at a raucous and lively table; a monk from Myanmar about to share food with his neighborhood. I found the series both touching and insightful and it evoked in me the exact question that Aikawa is asking: "What is a quality dinner?"
Carlos Ledesma, from Argentina usually enjoys Sunday night with his friends watching TV show on HBO at home. Age: 31, Time: 8:06 PM Location: Astoria, Queens
As she says, having dinner is not just about eating food — our mealtime environments reveal many aspects of our lives.
So we are sharing some of these photographs with you today, a look into a few microcosms of New York life and real people's mealtimes. What common themes do you notice? What strikes you?
Here's a little about from Aikawa's motivations and questions in this project. She says:
A study in Public Health Nutrition which compiles data relating to Americans' food-related time use over the past 30 years reveals some interesting trends: Eating as a primary activity declined in the past 30 years. On the other hand, eating as a secondary activity rose dramatically in the past 30 years. When we combine the primary and secondary eating time, we see that in total we're spending an average of 25 minutes or more minutes eating daily than we did 30 years ago. We now do almost 50 percent of our eating while concentrating on something else.I would like to propose thinking what a dinner should be by objectively seeing diverse dinner situations. When you enjoy mealtimes, you're more likely to eat better. Let's think what we can do to enhance the pleasure of the table.
You can see the whole series — nearly 30 photos — at Miho Aikawa's website.
See the full project: Dinner in NY from Miho Aikawa
Related: The Kitchens Where We First Learned to Love Food
(Images: Miho Aikawa)
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I love this so much! Thanks for sharing!
Wow. I found this pretty sad, honestly. So many people in pairs or groups watching TV, staring at the computer, or on their phone while having dinner. What happened to talking to each other?
Completely agree with Norainapeartree above. While I may eat most of my meals alone, they are always at the dining room table. Cannot abide food in the living areas - maybe that's because I don't watch TV.
I found this rather sad too. My husband rarely eats at the table with me and my sons when they are home and if he does he eats and then leaves. It is very hard cause there is no conversation. I envy the couples who look like they are truly enjoying each others conversation.
In my mind, eating is such a social activity, I can't understand sharing a meal with friends or family and then turning on the television!!! On the other hand, I totally get watching television or checking your phone when you're by yourself. I think that people miss that human connection when they're eating alone; sometimes connecting with the food just isn't enough. But those photos, with the blank eyed people sitting side by side with their plates of food, staring mindlessly at their screens............. So, so sad.
My first thoughts echo the comments above. What ever happened to dinner time being the ONE time when a family might sit together and enjoy each other's company? In nearly every photo the subject or one of the subject's is being stimulated by something other than the food or their company - a cat, a tv, a phone. Every night - no matter how little time - my husband and I gather at our kitchen island and feed our faces together. And we talk. It's the best thing! The other thing I noticed was the lack of natural light or windows in nearly every photo which can partially be attributed to the location being NYC. But if you are without company, why not sit by a window and observe nature for a few moments? How relaxing that would be!
My partner and I didn't even have a dinig room table until we took in my two nieces. We started eating dinner altogether--the first time that had happened for the girls, and a very good thing for all!
I can see what you're all saying, but I love the last photo of all the friends eating a meal they made and commenting on a show they enjoy together. It reminds me of the times my college room mates would have friends over, make dinner together and watch (or mostly talk through) episodes of Project Runway, Top Chef, or the occasional ridiculous Lifetime made for TV movie. Some of my most favorite memories! Even to this day I excitedly text them if I see something great on a show we all watch!
Oh I love these photos!!! Great Post.
Staceyann Dolenti
I'm first generation Italian-American and growing up dinnertime was at the table as a family, period, end of story. As an adult I really can't tolerate eating anywhere but the table...and who eats on their bed? GROSS.
I'm horrified.
I just can't believe how many people eat while watching tv; how many actually eat dinner sitting on the sofa parked in front of the tv.
Guess I have lived too long in Europe, specifically, in Switzerland on the border with France. There, small businesses shut down for 2 hours over lunch. Drive through a French town at 12:30, and it will look like a ghost town -- no one is out on the streets, shops are shut tight, security gates locked, lights extinguished. Then, park your car, and find a bistro (but hurry, because don't count on being served if you try to find a seat much later than 1:30) -- and that is where all the people are. Well, those who didn't run home to eat with their families.
Everything stops for meals.
And needless to say, there is not the same level of obesity.
I go to a great deal of effort to make good meals for my family, and demand that they be eaten in serenity so as to be best appreciated. And we really need that time to touch base about what happened during the day. So we eat every meal (except lunch on week days) together as a family, with no phones, computers or tv allowed.
My husband is an introvert, from a family which watches tv from the table, and so he is not good at table conversation, and tends to bolt after he eats. It's a big irritant for me, because I don't want him to teach our kids the same habits. After 23 years together (and yes, we have young kids!), we are still working on it; it is very hard to change cultural practices ingrained since birth.
How incredibly sad.
I find these comments far, far more saddening than the images. I have rarely read such judgmental, disapproving and self-righteous commentary on any story on the kitchn.
I don't know what kind of jobs you all have, but try working a 14hr day every day of the week, cooking your own meals, and still having the energy to maintain an intelligent conversation over dinner. I work from 5am to 7pm every day, 7 days a week. I come home, I cook dinner, I sit alone listening to music while I eat it. Sometimes, I put on a movie.
If people find that eating in front of the television is soothing or a good time to catch up on pop-culture, then so be it! All of these comments seem to come from people who believe that they are somehow above the people in the images.
"I don't watch TV." Well, far be it for me to enjoy something that you disapprove of. Please accept my sincere apologies, oh holy ones.
I love this project!! Maybe it's because my boyfriend and I lead such verbal lives all day long (always on the phone with clients, emailing clients, texting, etc.), but I love sitting on the couch next to him and just watching TV when we have dinner.
i love these photos so much... it really shows the reality of a busy urban life. when people go through house tours of small NYC apartments, often times the comments include issues with either small or no dining space. when space is a premium, you move to the coffee table, which is in front of the television, so inevitably it gets turned on. on another hand, people in NYC spend a much larger portion of their day at work or getting to and from work. dinner time is the best time to get caught up on news, or just wind down a bit. maybe dinner time is supposed to be "family time", but honestly, how many children did you see in the photos? very few. it's mostly singles or couples, who live in such small space that ALL their time at home is "family" time. when you have a huge house with 3 "living rooms", everyone dispurses after dinner (family) time instead of sticking together.
with that said, my boyfriend and i typically eat in the kitchen at the table and not in front of the television. i don't think we are typical, but i honestly don't think that AT/thekitchn readers are typical either. you cherish dinner time more than the average bear, and therefore have a stronger opinion in regards to being together at dinnertime.
again, i LOVE this post, and i, too, wish that more people sat down together to eat dinner :D
aschy, I think I agree with you more than anyone else. Sure, my wife and I sit down together at the table most nights, but I don't think that invalidates the positive experiences we have when we're both exhausted and we get takeout and watch one of our favorite shows together. When I eat lunch at home alone, I like to turn on NPR or a TV show so that I feel like I got to do something I enjoy during my lunchtime. I don't think that makes me sad or pathetic.
I agree with Aschy and Alicelost. Some compassion and empathy is warranted. Less judgement.
I found this photo essay fascinating, not only for showing a slice of where people eat but the array of comments too, from very negative to positive. Think maybe, in part, how we eat depends on how we grew up eating.
I came from a family of 6 and when I was growing up, we ate around the table, no tv, but it's very different for me now. I live alone and on occasion, I'll eat at the table alone reading, but frankly, it's very lonely. My free time is limited and eating and watching some tv is something I enjoy. I still attend occasional large family gatherings and have lunch with friends, but for most of the time, I am by myself.
Totally with aschy here. I was reading comments like "wow, I don't want to be at what is most likely a stuffy dinner table with most of these commenters!"
My husband and I work hard all day and when we come home, we happily plop in front the tv and enjoy our dinner. It our thing. And magically, we aren't zombies to tv like everyone apparently thinks tv watchers are, and we can still hold conversations with each other, talk about our days, etc.
Sitting at the dinner table doesn't equal a good family. An alcoholic dad guzzling away during dinner or a mom driving her family to tears incessantly babbling on about her day full of gossip no one in the family cares about? Those are 2 very real examples where everyone can do the whole family at the dinner table thing and the couple eating take out on the sofa can still be more happy adjusted and normal. It all depends on the people, so its not fair to harshly judge.
I totally agree with some of the commenters above. I grew up in a family of six, and we always ate together at the table with no distractions. However, now that I'm in college I eat dinner alone while watching a show on my computer. Nothing replaces meals with my family and good conversation, but the idea of eating completely alone with no distractions saddens me. I enjoy watching a good show while I eat a good meal. It doesn't make me a zombie. Honestly, people really shouldn't judge so harshly; it comes off as elitist and snobby.
Just another reason why I love this site. The Kitchn works hard not just to provide eye candy to its visitors, but real food for thought. Well done.
It is no wonder really and sad that children don't learn table manners !!
My family always had dinner with the news on-- it gave us interesting new topics to discuss while we ate. After that we'd have coffee and watch Jeopardy, where my parents would shout out the correct questions to nearly every answer. To this day I am still amazed by how much they know. I never think to watch TV while eating now, but I do miss that tradition (and I'm less knowledgable about trivia or current events now).
I love these photos! I don't think you can really capture what the evening is really like with just a freeze-frame of one second, and certainly not enough to be as critical as so many of the commenters here today! My husband and I usually eat elaborate dinners that I prepare and then sit on the couch to enjoy while watching a show or movie. We laugh and talk throughout, sip wine, have dessert, and usually end up cuddling once the food is finished. I don't see how that's any less valid a connection than anything else. We don't have the room for a proper dining table, so the couch is most comfortable for us right now. We also have plenty of nights that we spend around a dinner table with our parents or with each other or other friends out at restaurants (which we love), but that's just not possible on a daily basis!
Some pretty harsh reactions to some of these pictures haha. In the end it is about what makes a person comfortable. After a 9 hour day sometimes i just want to veg out infront of the tv for an hour with a couple of slices of pizza. It's a "turn the world off" moment for me personally. That moment will be diff for everyone. That is not to say i dont talk to my partner. Just because we watch tv during dinner at times doesnt mean we lack communication during all the other hours during the day. Dinner time is not always the only time for communication, so lay off!
I agree with a lot of the less harsh comments here: lay off the judgement! It's often a joy to sit down with my husband and share our favorite tv show together. Often, it's a break from the verbal "dumping" that occurs when we first see each other after work. We get to laugh and relax before conquering the evening's chores and needs. We don't do it constantly, and we make sure that we're together without the entertainment most meals, but it's still a welcome addition.
I love this whole project. While it shows people gathered at the table enjoying a meal together--something I personally feel everyone should try to do--, it also shows the very real way in which many people have dinner--for whatever reason it may be: work, live alone, prefer TV, etc. It doesn't matter what the reasons are for whichever dinner-style the photographed are engaged in. There is no righ or wrong, immoral or moral. It's just fascinating to look at all those people having dinner in their own unique style. Think about all the different stories that can be told for a specific photograph! They're great photographs too! Thank you for sharing. :-)
Alright, I'm actually on that photo that a lot of people are being really a bit too harsh towards without really knowing. Though I don't feel I have to explain myself to strangers, I'll point out that: it was a special proper dinner for the 2011 edition of the Golden Globes and the surprised faces were a product of Ricky Gervais' comments. I could have had them over to watch the show, seated down while drinking wine but instead I decided to cook dinner for them-is that a sin? The friends on this picture are some of my closest friends and we were used to seen each other about 3 times a week, one of them Sunday HBO nights. Perhaps we feel comfortable enough around each other to do this. Oh and for the "horrified" people: we all have good table manners. Some people may have HBO nights when they may offer snacks, sometimes I offered an actual dinner. Some people need to relax, really.
Thank you to the Kitchn for posting this ... very thought provoking! Enjoyed the pictures on the photographer's site as well. BTW the captions were not judgmental, as many of these comments seem to be!
To Plan9NYC: my friends from work and I are having an Oscar Watch pot-luck style dinner, since the show runs from before dinner to after dinner here on the west coast, it made sense. But, I really don't see a problem with friends getting together, sharing a meal and watching something. The point is SHARING good food and good times! Which you are clearly doing in the photo!
So many holier-than-thou attitudes today! Might I just point out, for the sake of argument, that just because the one moment captured in a still photograph shows a couple, or party, looking at an image off-frame, doesn't mean that the entire meal was spent slack-jawed, avoiding eye contact and interaction with the person/people around them?
My boyfriend and I often eat our nutritionally-balanced, homemade meals off our laps while loudly arguing about the answers to Jeopardy. Afterward, we fling our poop around, because we clearly are basically crazed wild animals.
I saw this in the email earlier in the day and waited until now to come back and look at the comments. Somehow, I just knew they'd start out so negative. It's like your grossed out by people who live alone. It's amazing that so much of the slow foods/home cooking/simple design movements are getting flooded with this negative "You don't do it the RIGHT way" attitude. Please. If I wanted to be shunned for every little sin, I'll go hang out with the upper-crust ladies who lunch. Don't turn it into a club no one wants to be in.
@plan9nyc , I was flat-out jealous. I've always always wanted to live in NY and have those amazing dinners where your friends are your family and you've managed to make something awesome in so little space. You look like your having a blast. Can I come over?
Variety and spontaneity in this life is good. I've eaten in my bed...cookies with my sister over stupid boys...grilled cheese with the sick boyfriend. Who cares? I have a washing machine. Making your life so precious and clean is stifling. You can have it, I'll keep dancing in the kitchen while the soup is on, then finish it on the couch with a good book.
Victoriaoc, thank you. I certainly wouldn't want to have people that judgmental over for dinner...
Oh, how true! Our meals are always home cooked and filled with love. But it's never plated so well or the silverware doesn't match, or we aren't on the dinner table at all!
Aprilinpieces, thank you also. Yes, actually all of us are transplants from a different place without much family in NY, so they ARE my family. And yes, you're invited to join us.
It's always a unique and wonderful experience to sit down with another family for dinner. It's one of the times where you have to step outside yourself and adjust to someone else's traditions and customs -- and it's always so surprising to see how different they can be! I think that's why I love these portraits so much, and I see how I fit in. My boyfriend and I pull up the previous day's Daily Show at my desk when we eat and laugh and watch and pause and talk and we share a lot of joy. And it is wonderful to see my experiences reflected to some extent in these portraits. No one looks miserable in these photos! Or obese! I don't see how this is comparable to the stereotype of Americans on the sofa eating TV dinners on their TV trays and passively watching shows and not associating with one another like zombies.
most nights i eat with my family at the table with no t.v. or other screens...but I've enjoyed many a meal with friends or other family watching a show that we are all into and enjoy/comment on, etc. It's a social experience. What I do find a little sad is the idea of a person eating all alone at a big table, with no t.v., music, computer, newspaper, etc. But the point is...to each their own...maybe for someone that's a relaxing time.
Some of these comments are just so judgemental, I can't believe it!
@hoovesnheels
"What ever happened to dinner time being the ONE time when a family might sit together and enjoy each other's company?"
The ONE time? That's what's sad to me. I enjoy plenty of great times with my family and friends that aren't dinner. Maybe that statement says more about you than it does about the poeople in the pictures, happily eating and watching TV with their loved ones.
@NLB1125
"who eats on their bed? GROSS."
@mschatelaine
"I go to a great deal of effort to make good meals for my family, and demand that they be eaten in serenity so as to be best appreciated... My husband is an introvert, from a family which watches tv from the table, and so he is not good at table conversation, and tends to bolt after he eats...it is very hard to change cultural practices ingrained since birth."
Great, so your husband's cultural practice is wrong and he has to change to suit your expectations. Nice. He sits down to meals and abides by your 'demands' and that's still not good enough? Wow.
I think all the commenters above have entirely missed the point of this project.
@NLB1125 @
What strikes me is not how many people are fixated on technology while eating but at how poorly adapted their living space is for their actual lifestyle. I see a lot of laptops propped up on tables and meals on laps. Being realistic with our lifestyle, we have online streaming set up to our big screen tv, and a nice comfortable bar-height table with a good view of the tube. It may not be the most formal set up but its practical and true to how we live. It allows us to sit down and enjoy our meal properly and comfortably while we watch something. This is actually pretty much the only time we watch tv.
With technology we are more connected than ever before. My partner and I talk and check in with each other several times throughout the day. Especially after a routine day by dinner time there isn't much left to share with each other. For us, dinner is often a quiet time to wind down right after work before we start our evening. Even if we have things to discuss it seems like we wait till after dinner, or if dinner is taking awhile in the kitchen while we finish preparing it.
It has not been a sad or terrible experience to eat alone at my my big (45 in. x 90 in.) table without a TV, computer, music, or newspaper—or pets. I put expense and effort into my meal, and I enjoy buying the food, preparing it, eating it, and cleaning up afterwards. It is all very sensory and satisfying. Some music can be nice for a while, sometimes I can read a little. There have been occasions when I have eaten with family, friends, in groups, or at work—most of my life, I would say—it makes me enjoy being alone all the more.
Wow...for a minute I thought I was going to have to stand up for all people who don't eat all meals around a table, completely focused on their food and each other. I mean, I wish every meal was like that but geez...I had no idea there were so many judges on this blog. Reality check? As a mom of two teens, I stay focused on their lives and we chat at the super yummy, lovingly crafted family meals I cherish making. But some nights...I just want to focus on crappy tv and awesome take away pizza <insert gasp and shock here>. I think they appreciate both ways of family eating. Once in a while we have "grab and growl" also known as "each family member raids the fridge, heats up their owns leftovers and eats on their own schedule". That gets creative, let me tell you. Relish diversity!
I absolutely LOVE this. And I join the commenters who embrace this. What I see is not loneliness but instead, people looking comfortable in their private worlds. A scene may LOOK lonely (the power of visual imagery), but who knows, a person might be having the most awesome thoughts of his/her life while eating in front of the television. Sometimes I find small talk around the table more irritating than background television noise.
You can have time with yourself, just as much as you can have time with other people. Also, maybe we can be more aware of how an image creates an impression on us through framing, lighting, and other elements.
When my 2 granddaughters have dinner at my house, they have to sit still and focus on the food & company around them, they are 4 & 5 so it can be a challenge. I tell them they have to sit until everyone is finished & that we can have fun talking. Tonight it was a conversation about Sponge Bob, and we had a nice bonding time.
Oh, so I don’t sound judgmental, there are also plenty of times when we sit in the living room with paper plates & pizza. Whatever makes you happy….
This is great. Why? Because it's real. Who cares if people are in front of the tv or sitting in their uptight dining room. As long as they are enjoying the meal, each other and the time, good for them. I'd be more concerned about the content of the food. I think there's an automatic correlation between tv and junk food. I usually eat in front of the tv myself, if not while reading a book or magazine, but 95% of the time I'm eating a healthy meal I cooked myself. And often that's the only time I do spend with the tv.
I agree with all who are horrified at people eating with the TV on. Even worse, I am guilty of the same thing. My husband and I sit hunched over the coffee table eating and watching MSNBC every night, while our lovely Danish modern dining room table collects mail and electronic devices. I've tried to institute a dinner-at-the-table-with-background-music rule but it fails every time. :( Any helpful suggestions to change this terrible habit are greatly appreciated! FYI--divorce is not an option ;)
i'll pretend i've never watch tv while eating / having dinner.
and oh, this is pretty sad.
I grew up in an dinner table kind of family, but now- whether we cook or get take-out - most nights me, the bf and his son throw floor cushions around our huge coffee table (as opposed to our tiny kitchen table) lay out a big spread, flip on the tv, and watch jeopardy while we eat. We try to answer questions, make fun of Trebek, talk and relax. Usually dinner lasts a couple of hours as we switch programs, play video games, work on homework, drink wine (or sierra mist for the kid) and generally spend time together. I'm certain that my bf would go along with it if i lobbied to spend dinner around the table, but we'd also be done in less than an hour, with everyone hopping up to do their own thing afterward. I prefer spending a 3-4 hours together each night, with no one in a hurry to go anywhere.
Oh, how I would love to eat meals the "European' way. I'm a naturally slow eater, and I think having an hour or more to sit with friends and eat would be just lovely. I think it would be wonderful to not need to be so money driven (as a society)that we can't even take time to eat a leisurely meal instead of wolfing it down in our cars on our way back to work! The "American" lifestyle is killing us all!
I live alone, and so I eat alone, and in front of the tv, which is my almost constant companion, but don't feel bad for me, I enjoy it. It's on while I make my jewelry, while I'm working on my computer,and sometimes while I read a book its just background noise.
For the snobs who "don't watch tv", there are interesting things on tv, like decorating shows, cooking shows, history, nature, technology,and on the Public broadcasting stations, sometimes even opera! How can you rule all that out?Its all about what you chose to focus on.
I also work long hours and often eat in front of the TV. I think this essay was meant to show the changing idea of how people eat. Note the person eating on her bed, or the work crew eating fast food at their desk. These scenarios are becoming more and more common for people who do not have much free time. I also think it is sad that people are judgmental for others for not fitting into some ideal of what things should be.
I work long days and my boyfriend is in vet school - usually dinner isn't until 7pm or later and is spent on the couch, together, watching an episode or two of whatever show on Netflix we are currently in to.
Its our nightly ritual - one we have both agreed will stop when we have kids, as I think a family should sit down and eat together - but its the only time all day that either of us watch any TV. We make plenty of time for conversation throughout the day, but watching a 20 minute episode or two of How I Met Your Mother is a nice way to laugh and unwind from the stress of work and classes and doesn't make us 'zombies' who just pop in microwave dinners and plop in front of the TV for hours.
Whoa, the Indignation Train has arrived, right on time!
I think we need to be realistic about the culture in which we live. Unfortunately, we don't live in a culture that values meals or downtime - that's reflected in everything from the length of our workdays, the prevalence of fast food and even faster fast food establishments, and the lack of paid time off/family/pregnancy leave. Are priorities (IMHO) are totally wack, but reflect the culture in which we live, which primarily values work and money (the American dream!).
Sometimes we eat at the kitchen table, sometimes my husband and I sit on the couch and watch TV. He doesn't get any paid breaks for lunch at his job, so he usually eats lunch in about 10-15 minutes since he doesn't get paid to eat his tuna salad sandwich. His commute is an hour and half, one way.
When he gets home, out of deference to him (and the fact that my job is not nearly as demanding as his in terms of time), he gets to decide how we eat dinner. I don't care in the slightest, as long as I am involved in the decision making process. It would be one thing for him to walk in the door, plop down on the couch, and turn on the TV with the expectation that dinner and a beer were forthcoming, but instead it's "what do you want to do while we eat?"
There is NOTHING wrong with that. Full stop.
I really don't get why a lot of you think people eating while watching television means they arent sharing quality time together or caring about meal time. Why is that wrong? I think its a bit messed up if you feel there needs to be talking to appreciate and enjoy the company of another person. Knowing my fiancee is near me is one of the greatest feelings in my life. Enjoying the mutual feelings of shock or anticipation while watching BBC's modernized Sherlock together is a wonderful experience, whether or not we actually open our mouthes to say anyting other than "John, Sherlock, Look out!"
I value meals, I value down time. I love to cook. But you got to realize everyone has a different version of down time. My version of down time is sitting with a good meal, near the wonderful woman I love, and enjoying something together. I'm an artist, when im done working, My back hurts, my butt hurts, my feet are hurting and my ankles are starting to swell from sitting for most of the day, and my arms ache. I'm utterly sorry that I don't quite feel up to sitting at the same hard chair I have been sitting in all day leaning on the same hard surface as always to eat a meal that took up the rest of my energy to make. Food is not a high class ritualistic experience, okay? Food is a comforting, nourishing thing that can be enjoyed in any way people want to enjoy it. Get over yourselves.
@ASMALLCONTEMPT I totally agree! I enjoy these photos and catching my fav TV shows with my girlfriends after making dinner together. However, I often wish our culture would look to how some of the far more matured European cultures prioritize. (Don't want to sound like a hooite-tootie-nose-in-the-air here, but...) When I studied in Italy for a semester we made friends with a local, and one of the greatest things we experience was the way they valued food, family and pleasure over the 40(+) hour week and the bottom line (the proof is there, my GPA dropped a full point that semester, but I could care less about that now!). I want to be successful, but it's hard to deny that we Americans work ourselves ragged until retirement age. Now, doesn't mean I won't enjoy some television entertainment with friends and food! Or that we won't sit around a table together, or go out to a restaurant, whatever!-- We just need to do more of it!
A lot of the indignation here does not account for the time-saving convenience of eating and watching TV. I have 4 hours a day between getting home and needing to be asleep. If I want to multitask by eating my meal while catching a show, it makes me feel like I'm getting more out of my evening. Since it's hard to multitask when showering, cooking, or corraling kids (if you have kids, I don't) then eating the actual meal seems like the best time to do an additional passive activity. If you are watching TV during dinner INSTEAD of engaging with family, then that might be something to correct. I grew up having family meals, but not always, and I think every family is different in that regard. Both of my parents worked, but we spent quality time together often, and it wasn't necessarily at the table. Also, this "I worked hard on your dinner so you need to appreciate it" attitude of some commenters? Please; guilt is the worst condiment.
Also, some people enjoy comfortable silence with their partners. It's so relaxing to spend time being quiet with someone, too. Adding TV to that is not a far fetched next step.
I like to read while I eat, and let me just say that if I were in one of those pictures, it would not be pretty. Eating is tricky to maneuver while holding a book open, and not very sexy. I have decent table manners around others, though ;)
Sad? Shocking? Pathetic to be eating alone in front of a tv? A computer? Views from a place of privilege. My girlfriend had to totally change her way of life when she lost her car due to an accident and not her fault I might add... To save up for a new car, she had to move further away from friends and family (both parents have passed on, closest sister is an hour away by car) for cheaper rent, and cut her internet and tv. The smart phone went to, no texting, just basic calling. Facebook is verboten at work and no Starbucks, no lounges within walking to just hop on the 'Net. She cannot wait till the day when she can just come home after a long day's work (10 hour workday is the norm and present commute is two and half hours each day (walking over an hour and a half each day just to get to the train) and plop down in front of the tv, eat and relax! Does she wish life was like an episode of Friends? Where friends and family were right across the hall, or out your front door for impromptu get togethers and outings? You betcha! But, hey, she has a stable job and she's grateful for that!
Oh, I'm just as pathetic. When the boyfriend wasn't around for dinner, not only would I eat in front of the tv, but my dog and cat would settle down with me, one on each side. Now, the cat just watched out of curiosity, but Porky and I would share dinner- we both loved pizza! That never happened with the boyfriend around- "The dog has his own dog food and feeding station, it's not proper..." Yeah, yeah, yeah... So we would all eat (and I swear, watch tv together!) then I would rush around cleaning up so there wasn't a speck of food or hair remaining. But, I loved those rare little dinners of ours and to this day, I still sometimes look over my shoulders and picture Porks and Chloe by my side.
Meh. Much ado about nothing. I grew up in a "everybody around the table" family, where we had great conversations and lively quality time every night. Nowadays, my husband and I always end up snuggled up together on the sectional, watching our giant TV and eating something delicious and home-made from big deep dishes. We sometimes talk back and forth about what we're watching and sometimes just enjoy a bit of quieter time together. For a special meal, we eat at the table or go out on a date and really focus on each other. When baby gets here in April, we'll start eating at the table again. I think it's healthier and less distracting for kids.
Everybody do your own thing. It's all good. I loved the photos.
My husband and I sometimes watch a show while we eat dinner but we love to talk and cook and eat it together. I hope this will be a family tradition for the rest of our lives.
http://munchtalk.blogspot.com
Ufda, the TV has no place in family dinner, especially with a big-ish an growing family with young kids like ours.
This is AWESOME. I'm going through the website right now, showing all the pictures to my four-year-old daughter. We just ate dinner at the table, while watching Mythbusters and talking about what we were seeing. It's great food for thought; I ask her what she thinks is happening and why.
It's so good to see busy people, messy homes, exhausted parents, late workers, and REAL LIFE. It's a great way to explain to a kid that while all of us are different, we're also very much alike.
Also, I want to give the little newborn's mom a hug. And a break. Poor thing looks like she's about to cry.
many of these made me think of edward hopper's paintings-- which i always interpreted as showing how vulnerable humans are, how small in the world, and yet every one so vivid and complex.
Growing up, we enjoyed a home-cooked meal as a family at the dinner table every evening. However, the tradition in our culture (especially for children) is to eat in virtual silence, the food being of utmost importance. As a result, I grew up feeling awkward, almost uncomfortable, when I found myself having to make conversation at the table - it was almost a social handicap. Funnily enough, the difference between my own upbringing and others' was most acutely felt when I lived in France (which reminded me of Mschatelaine's comment). I wouldn't want my own children to miss out, as I did, on the pleasures of a relaxed, raucous lunch or dinner, so now I try to make mealtimes a social, as well as a culinary experience for my family! Which isn't to say we don't also enjoy having dinner in front of the TV sometimes.
I grew up eating dinner every night with my whole family, either around the kitchen table or at a restaurant. Now that it's just me and my boyfriend, and we don't have an eat-in kitchen or a separate dining room, we have to eat in the living room, where the TV is. Which means that the TV is on a lot while we eat, but it's off to the side from the table, so that can also be annoying.
HOWEVER, even when the TV is not on, we don't always talk a lot while we eat. Since it's just us, we have plenty of time to talk. We normally do the most talking when we go for evening walks or out shopping. We don't even talk much if we go to restaurants.
That being said, my boyfriend does have the super annoying habit of leaving the table before I'm done eating. Especially annoying because I usually serve him first if I'm reheating meals (which is frequent - we both work) as he is a little incompetent in the kitchen. I should start making him stay until I'm done.
Why is everyone waxing nostalgic about family dinners? Very few of these photos are of families with children. Yes, a jammied-mom with her baby, a toddler eating take-out, a woman clearly skype-ing with a loved one while she eats with her child.
Most of these pics are of single and coupled NYCers. I'm shocked anyone is eating at home in the first place. Don't you know you should be eating fabulous dinners in real restaurants before it costs $50 to pay a babysitter! This is your future speaking! Act now!
No TV on when me and my husband eat a homecooked meal 5 days a week.
We run our own business and I buy fresh food, dinner is made in 20-30 minutes.
I love how many people commented that they watch Jeopardy when they eat dinner. That's me and my husband! I love our tradition. I'm sure it'll change when we have kids, so I am savoring it for the time being.
I love this project, and I'm surprised by all these judgmental comments.
My husband, two daughters, and I eat dinner together as a family every evening that we are all home, which is most evenings. Most of those evenings we eat in the dining room without distractions. Occasionally (once every few weeks) moving our meal to the coffee table in the living room is a fun way to mix things up. If this photographer happened upon our family on one of those evenings, I guess you'd judge us too.
Most of these people look like they are enjoying themselves.
agree with you superdewa.
Everybody talk about their day , have fun without being distracted by tv or text messages, that's how it should be.
Love all the comments. We tried to change our "bad habits", bought a tv for the kitchen/dining table so we'd sit at a table, and we still find ourselves sitting on the couch in the living room in front of the 6:00 news. It's simply more comfortable, relaxing, and there's no pressure to make conversation after an exhausting day. (Now we can watch tv while we cook as well).
Cooking and eating have always been a huge social thing for me, so being alone takes most the pleasure out of it. I find myself most nights eating in front of the television, more for "company," eating a quick-fix or frozen meal. It's really hard to cook for one, even with freezing left overs. Too bad you don't wrie a column on Feeding the Single Soul.
i relocated to the uk years ago and what i miss about the states is kitchens big enough for a table to eat at. most kitchens here are too small for any furniture at a -not even a stool at the counter. apartments are so small that there is no provision for a dining room -my clothes dryer is in the livingroom. nightmare to live like a dormouse in a hole!