Seriously? Welcome to the world of Asian cuisine....

Some cheeses (like cheddar and hard cheeses) are very low in lactose. And if you want to add a creamy taste, yogurt is often okay for lactose intolerants (as is anything with live cultures, including frozen yogurt and some brands of cottage cheese). Obviously, there is also lactose-free milk and I've started seeing whole milk in these brands, too, which Isubstitute for cream on occasion.

If you want to keep the boyfriend around for the long term, though, you might want to get him to try taking probiotics... we've had a pretty good success rate in our family and friends (5 test subjects to date) with at least improving lactose intolerance to include cheeses and butter, if not milk and ice cream. I guess the idea is that some people aren't as lactose intolerant as they think, but have gut flora issues that may be exacerbating the situation.

My gf is veggie and lactose intolerant while i eat meat and cheese. we do just fine together.

We eat: any kind of pasta sans cheese; egg dishes; sandwiches; veggie sautees with tofu or beans or faux meat; mexican sans cheese; thai and chinese and japanese foods; pizza and calzones with soy cheese; breakfast foods - pancakes, french toast, cereal, etc. with soy milk rather than cow's milk, etc., etc.

There really are very few foods that have cheese so thoroughly integrated in them (like lasagne) that you can't remake it without cheese - and there are a million non-milk cheese subs out there.

Check out the back of Kraft cheese products - most of the shredded cheeses include the following statement: "Contains 0g Lactose". This has been such a huge discovery since I am also lactose intolerant (Yes, my b-friend considers it a deal breaker as well as his mom!)
Also, use Lactaid milk - you can drink it too and likely won't notice any difference. Also tofutti makes lots of products.

The following posts from my blog may be of interest:

Sole Meuneire with Roasted Asparagus

Steak Sandwich with Mediterranean Salad (omit the feta in the salad)

Fresh Fettucine with Pesto, Mushrooms, and Broccoli (omit the parm for the lactose intolerant diner)

...and many many more. Substitute oil for butter, lactaid for milk, and when you need a creamy base for a soup, use pureed potato or lentils.

Even though I eat meat, I only COOK vegetarian, a lot of our meals end up vegan as well. I make lots of chili, soups (veggie, potato, Asian noodle soup with a fried egg on top), and stir fries, and curries.
You might try looking up some vegan recipes, you can always add meat back into a recipe, I think that's easier than trying to find non-dairy substitutes for regular recipes.

We eat meat, but we rarely cook with cheese and other dairy products. The world is pretty much your oyster when it comes to dairy-free cooking.

For inspiration, try the Epicurious website's advanced recipe search engine.

You can select "Dinner" under the Meal/Course tab, and then check "Dairy" in the Exclude from Search section.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipesmenus/advancedsearch

I am lactose intolerant, but cheese and yogurt are not a problem. I have found that the lactaid tablets and dairy products very useful.

A life without cheese would be very sad indeed.

You can actually purchase lactose free cheese. My mom is lactose intolerant and practically lives on LF Swiss cheese that her local grocery store special orders for her.

My son is lactose intolerant and cannot eat most cheeses.

BUT if you really need a cheese-like flavor, check out the Lisanatti brand almond cheeses (can be found at whole foods) -- they're the closest to the real thing (both flavor AND texture) that I've found. They don't melt quite the same as regular cheese (but for things like cheese sauce for mac-n-cheese we use "Veggie Slices" cheddar flavored soy cheese slices with unsweetened soy milk and earth balance "butter" and it turns out pretty well, too!!!!)

Almost any veggie based meal would work--like a salad with shredded lamb on top and a fresh and sun-dried tomato sauce or fragrant turkey and spinach served with rice. Let us know how it turns out!

pureed white beans also make soup "creamy"

I am lactose intolerant in a bad way. I discovered this product very recently and I'm blown away by it. Lactaid does NOT work for me, just postpones the agony, but this is awesome! I had to order it from the UK, but I had my first ice cream in 10 years on Sunday, and had no problem. It's incredible. (No, I don't work for the company!) Maybe it'd work for your fella, too.

http://www.foodreactions.org/products/li.html

(I bought the 2nd product listed on this page, the Prolactazyme Forte capsules.)

No disrespect but there are more recipes out there without dairy then there are with dairy, maybe in some parts of the US dairy (cheese) is expected in every meal, don't know.

Pick up some Vietnamese cookbooks very economical way of cooking and healthy. Get "Fit for Life" cookbook there is no dairy in the entire cookbook and very easy, hearty dishes.

I can name a million more...

Lactose intolerance is a result of pasteurization. When milk is pasteurized the enzymes you body needs to digest the milk proteins and lactose are killed, leaving your body with all the work to do. If your body does not have enough enzymes to do the job, you have ill effects.

Raw milk and cheeses would get him back on track. He should also supplement with a good quality probiotic and digestive enzymes.

There are several lactose-free products on the market, including lactose-free cheese, lactose-free milk, and lactose-free cottage cheese. Breyer's makes a lactose-free Vanilla ice cream that is very good. Look for Lactaid milk and cottage cheese. Yami flavored yogurt is lactose free. Most people can handle swiss and parmesan cheese, so your choices of dairy products are not as limited as you think. Try mashed potatoes made with lactose-free milk. Yum!

lmrinc: lactose intolerance is because the body no longer synthesizes galactase, the enzyme produced to split the lactose molecule into its monosaccharides. Pasteurization has nothing to do with lactose tolerance.

While I do love dairy, I cook more Asian dishes than dairy dishes too. Pick up a few Asian cookbooks or grab a few menus from you and your bf's favourite asian restaurants and look online to recreate all these at home.

i've been cooking a lot lately with cashew cream- in soups, it really makes them nice and creamy- and it doesn't taste like cashews. be sure to buy them raw- not roasted... soak them in water for a few hours- put a cup or two in the food processor and cover with cold water. blend until it's creamy. it's pretty magical really.

I've been able to work through lactose intolerance with the use of probiotics and some careful food choices (i.e. dairy overload is still not a great thing for me). But I did blog about some of my favorite dairy-withdrawal foods here:

http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com/2009/01/18/ultimate-swedish-meatballs-with-sour-cream-and-mushroom-sauce-for-dairy-and-non-dairy-lovers-alike/

http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com/2009/05/28/dairy-free-and-soy-free-and-vegan-and-sooooo-easy-macaroni-and-cheese/

http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/whats-hot-easy-and-delicious-spinach-lentil-soup-of-course/

http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com/2009/03/15/dairy-free-creamy-spinach-artichoke-dip-or-chicken-breasts-stuffed-with-cheesy-spinach-and-artichokes-tee-hee-hee-or-the-stages-of-grief-for-a-foodie/

http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/pumpkin-bacon-risotto/

My boyfriend just doesn't like cheese (but admits it's all mental). Seriously was almost a deal breaker as I LOVE cheese. I've had to change the way I cook but haven't found it too hard. Although, I am able to sneak in cheese here and there as my life's goal is to get him to like cheese again. But we're big on Asian and usually when I make my pasta dishes, I just sprinkle on my parmensan or whatever cheese I'm going for after it's plated. Otherwise, just grilled meats with a salad or other veggies and maybe potatoes work really easily.

I'm lactose intolerant and have been for years. Chill out about it and you'll have a great time eating together.

Here's some dairy your bf should still be able to eat:
- yogurt with live cultures
- sharp cheddar, goat cheese, and feta are fine, as are most hard cheeses such as parmesan - the aging eats up the lactose
- any Cabot brand cheese, honestly this changed my life, they all have 0g lactose, even Pepper Jack
- Cabot cottage cheese is fine, but many other brands aren't - again check for live cultures

If you've got to have ice cream, check out Soy Dream and Double Rainbow soy ice cream. Tofutti Cuties are delicious and fun. Lactaid milk is OK, it's a little sweeter than regular milk due to the processing. If you can spring for organic lactose-free milk that's a real treat!

Any recipe that uses milk, you can substitute soy milk. Go for the Silk, it tastes better and isn't at all chalky.

Earth Balance is the best-textured margarine with the least gunk in it.

If you want to bake treats, I cannot recommend enough the Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World! cookbook. SO SO worth it and even dairy-eaters have told me best cupcakes EVER.

Finally, agreed that this is an excellent time to investigate Asian cooking of all types. Over half the world is lactose-intolerant. Enjoy the variety!

Seriously, again, what is he currently eating??? He has to eat, so ask him what his faves are that don't make him miserable. Also, there are lactose free cookbooks out there that may be a great help as they often suggest ingredients not generally thought of.

I use pureed stuff as thickeners (as other commentors have said) -- white beans, rice puree. For cereal, I use vanilla almond milk for cereals desserts and plain almond or rice milk for savory dishes. You can do it!!!