Would he go for a chicken wrap? Toss cooked chicken or soy replacement on buffalo sauce and layer into a tortilla with lettuce low fat blue cheese (less goes farther in this application) and any other veg topping he wants.

Make them on the grill. Just toss them in a little flour, then grill them til they're done, then toss them into a sauce. I make them on the grill and my wing-hating mom loves em since they're not greasy.

Alton Brown does a set of wings thats steamed then baked to get that crispy texture. I can't say I've tried it but I remembered them looking delicious on the show. Here's the recipe, looks a bit time consuming but I'd bet you'd be his favorite in-law after.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/good-eats/buffalo-wings-recipe/index.html

You could make baked Buffalo "strips" with boneless/skinless breasts, or you could do what my boyfriend does and grill the wings outdoors and toss them in wing sauce. With this method, the fat drips off, but you don't lose any flavor.

I have grilled chicken wings, smothered them in Frank's red hot (without the butter many recipes call for), and topped with blue cheese crumbles , which is about as healthy as you can make them. I was happy with the results, although it wasn't quite the same as the deep fried version with the creamy dressing.

In any case, wings are essentially chicken fat dipped in cheese, so it's never going to be healthy. This may be something that is best done the way he likes it but in moderation.

If it's the buffalo flavor that he really likes, a meatier cut of chicken in buffalo sauce would significantly increase the protein-to-fat ratio while preserving the flavor.

Try Alton Brown's recipe for Buffalo Wings. He steams them and then bakes them to get the crispy skin. I find them delicious!

After much trial and (much) error, I can definitively say that the only solution I've found is to grill the wings over really high heat. It's the only way I've been able to get a similar level of crispness in the skin as you would through deep frying. Then, toss the wings in the wing sauce.

Oh, and the wing sauce: Traditionally loaded with butter. I prefer this FAR healthier honey-sriracha sauce.

I inadvertently discovered that a combination of Tabasco Garlic Hot Sauce and a little butter tastes exactly like buffalo sauce, and I used to make BBQ wings in my oven broiler (I think I cooked them 8 minutes/side then sauced them and cooked them 8 minutes more/side)- maybe you could combine the two techniques for a lower fat, non-breaded treat. You could mix a little blue cheese into some greek yogurt for a healthier dip.
My favorite use for the buffalo sauce is to saute shrimp in it and serve it on top of a Cesar salad.

I bet you could mix some blue cheese crumbles in with non-fat greek yogurt for a sauce substitute. Blue Cheese is quite strongly flavored so you wouldn't need much.

Try this:
http://www.franksredhot.com/recipes/franks-redhot-buffalo-chicken-dip-RE1242
We make it with white meat chicken, and low-fat dressing and cheese. Serve with celery sticks for dipping. Not the healthiest food out there, but better for you than the real thing!

Looking around the recipes on the Franks Red Hot site, they have a whole section of healthy recipes. I'm going to have to try this one:
http://www.franksredhot.com/recipes/buffalo-shrimp-and-chicken-kabobs-RE1357

I boil the wings in a pot of water with lots of cayenne pepper and crushed red pepper and salt for about 15 minutes, then broil them in the oven to crisp up the skin on the wings. No frying needed! Once they are done in the oven, I toss with the buffalo sauce. I've been happy with the outcome.

These are delicious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie7BIwjT27I

I make them with strips of boneless skinless chicken breast, and I baked them for like 25 minutes (?) at 375 instead of frying -- then back in the sauce just like the recipe says. They are VERY spicy, so sometimes I adjust the ratio of Diet Coke to Frank's. They come out spicy and a tiny bit sweet, just like the best wings.

What about the buffalo chicken dip? Healthy w/celery & carrots, but some indulgence in the dip. The recipe is on the Franks Red Hot site, and you could use low-fat cheeses & dressing, lean chicken breast. Not the same thing but has the same flavors.

At an Indian restaurant, we once had a spicy cauliflower recipe that was the vegan dead-ringer for wings. One of my friends asked the waiter if he could get a side of celery sticks and bleu cheese. The waiter was perplexed and said we weren't the first to say that. It was at Brick Lane Curry on E6th St NYC. Any cooks familiar w/Indian spices want to venture a recipe? That cauliflower was good.

Serious Eats has an "Old Bay Wings" recipe that is to die for...and they're baked! They're tossed w/ baking powder before baking, which makes them super crispy and delicious! I'm sure you could omit the old bay too, if that's not your thing.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/01/wing-week-old-bay-wings.html

WOW! Thank you guys for all the suggestions! I did hear from him the other day that eating the wings off the bone is his favorite part, so that torpedoed my hope of using chicken breasts instead of wings. Personally, I'm a vegetarian, so I'm not that experienced cooking chicken but some of these recipes look so easy and delicious!

Here's another recipe for grilled buffalo wings. I always marinate the wings per his recipe. And I often skip the hot wing sauce at the end. Yes, they would taste better with the sauce, but they're pretty darned good without it.

I've also baked these in the oven.

Sorry, forgot the link in my post above: http://www.dadcooksdinner.com/2008/09/grill-roasted-chicken-wings.html

Cooking Light has a recipe for chicken strips with blue cheese dressing:

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chicken-strips-with-blue-cheese-dressing-10000001054899/

Megan, I use Kenji's version at Serious Eats: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/02/the-best-buffalo-wings-oven-fried-wings-recipe.html

They come out wonderfully crispy thanks to the "curing" in the fridge. A lot of the fat drips through the rack onto the baking sheet. I haven't used his sauce though; I like to toss them in barbecue myself.

Wings are white meat, right? So the problem isn't so much the wing itself as the skin-to-meat ratio.

I don't mess around with whole chickenworths of parts unless I'm getting paid to do so, but would it be a giant, insurmountable pain in the butt to skin a few wings?

First thing to do is make sure you buy the wing parts already in pieces, not the whole wings. Toss with vegetable oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder and paprika. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes on one side, flip on the other side with a pair of tongs until they're brown and crispy. After they're done in the oven then you can toss them in the sauce of your choice or a dry rub.

broiler. same crispy texture as the fried ones. i don't notice a difference.

I have to third the suggestion for Alton Brown's wings. They are time consuming, but the steaming and drying REALLY help the wings get crispy when baking. I've made them twice and they go like hotcakes!

The boil and broil technique works really well! We tried it a few weeks ago and were very happy with the results!

This is another great recipe for baked wings that turn out crispy and delicious! You can use the hot sauce in the recipe or any sauce you want - we like to use bbq sauce. The spiciness can be adjusted by how much cayenne etc you add to the the water when you boil. Good luck!

http://www.food.com/recipe/unbelievable-baked-buffalo-wings-155021

Can't contribute anything to the wing discussion, but I make my own bleu cheese dressing, and it's delicious. Equal parts mayo and sour cream, a little bit of minced, fresh garlic, pepper, a dash of salt, a splash of white wine vinegar, pinch of sugar (more if you put in too much vinegar), and then thin it out to your desired texture with some milk before dumping in the bleu cheese. You can lighten it up by using skim milk, low-fat sour cream and mayo, or maybe even replacing one of those with low-fat yogurt.

A fourth for the Alton Brown recipe. It is the steaming prior to baking that renders out the fat.

If he happens to loves limes try zesting some limes just before you take the wings out of the oven and then juice the lime add some salt and toss the wings. Might convert him away from the high fat of the blue cheese dip.

My husband has perfected the art of grilled wings, and they are his specialty, without question. He is "famous" for his wings in our community, and everyone prefers them over the traditional fried kind.

Here is Hubby's recipe (goodness, I hope he doesn't mind me sharing his secrets)

3 lbs. of fresh chicken wings, cut apart (or you can buy the frozen ones that are already cut)
Crystal Hot Sauce, and a lot of it.
5-8 Jalapenos (How many you use is based on how hot he likes them. Also remove/leave in seeds and stems for less/more heat. For even more heat, if you dare, chop up a habanero)
10 cloves fresh garlic, minced
2 T Red Pepper Flake
2 T Black Pepper

Put all of the ingredients in a large, sealable container, with enough Crystal hot sauce to cover them completely. (Some groceries sell it in large gallon containers) Marinate overnight. The next day, start out grilling on low heat (if you have a charcoal grill, my husband puts all the coals in the middle and then puts the wings in a ring around the edge of the grill). Total grilling time is close to an hour, flipping half way through. At the 45 minute mark, start moving the wings closer to the fire to crisp them up. We actually like them close to burnt because the sugar in the marinade caramelizes a bit and becomes super yummy. Platter up and serve with Reduced Fat Blue Cheese Dressing (I prefer Ken's). I also like the suggestion of Greek yogurt with blue cheese crumbles, but you may need to cut it with some lemon juice or something to thin it out.

Amendment to my post...those jalapenos should be chopped!

This certainly wouldn't address the eating-off-the-bone bit, and it might sound crazy (though, since you're a vegetarian, maybe not)-- but I had the *BEST* "buffalo wings," complete with celery sticks and bleu "cheese," at a vegan restaurant-- the Veggie Grill in Santa Monica. The texture was surprisingly reminiscent of chicken, the taste was dead-on (though how they veganized bleu cheese dressing is beyond me), and they'd certainly be more heart-healthy than the real thing.

A quick search didn't turn up any promising recipes (looks like they use a secret "specially seasoned and marinated veggie protein blend"), but on the off-chance you're in southern CA, see if you have a Veggie Grill location near you...?

Some further research turned up that they might use Gardein-brand "chicken," and Gardein even makes frozen buffalo wings. Might be worth checking out, or seeing if you could create something similar out of the ingredients listed.